Rise From the Ashes
by mav32
Summary: After Shredder's demise, the turtles are picking up their lives...and Leo. But the foot have other plans, namely revenge, and it happens in a way that no one could have anticipated...
1. Prologue

A/N: So! This is my first tmnt fic, and I'm pretty much totally excited. I'm notorious for not finishing fics...so bug me until I do. That means reviews...hint hint... This one is slow, but I'm just setting the scene. I cant stand being depressed for long, so it'll pick up the pace, don't worry! I love action and all that, but I love to get into characters too, so tell me when I'm not doing enough of one or the other. so enjoy!!! next chapter up soon.

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I don't know how I ended up being the big brother. For all I know, Mikey could be the oldest. Though if we're going off intellectual level here, I guess that's not likely. Donny would be at the head in that case. But for as long as I've known him, the guy hasn't shown an assertive bone in his body. Raph, on the other hand, is completely composed of aggressive matter. I'm convinced it consumed his common sense as well.

And then there's me…Heh. Not much of a choice in my opinion. But here I am, nonetheless; "Fearless leader," as Raph likes to call me. As far as I'm concerned, he couldn't be farther from the truth. Yeah, my paralyzing fear of heights is over with, distinguished from years of leaping around rooftops, but I have different fears that haunt me now- have been haunting me forever, really.

Ever since I grasped the concept that my brothers, Splinter and I were a family, I had an innate feeling of protectiveness. Sensei was the first line of defense of course, but once we started going off on our own, I felt a slight need to be the watchful one.

I was naturally curious myself and liked to mess around in the tunnels of our home, usually practicing some skill Splinter had taught us, making it more of a game. But it's hard to concentrate on my own thing when Raph thinks he's an immortal god of power, Mikey can't keep his shell on straight and Donny is consumed with figuring out how whatever he discovered works. It was a recipe for disaster and more often than not, we managed to cook something up.

Back then it was still fun; risking life and limb was just another game we played. One I usually got caught up in no matter what. It was exciting. We were young and not much could threaten us. That's the way our life went, up until we had become so reckless that we actually started getting hurt. I remember when Donny almost drowned during the rainy season, trying to fish out a toy he'd dropped in the water. I think that's the first time I felt like I could lose part of my family. I brushed it off of course. I was still under the childhood belief that we were invincible.

Then Raph tried to beat me at a game of follow the leader and nearly broke his neck when he fell trying to do a move on a pipe near the ceiling. A broken arm didn't stop him for long, but I slowly became more cautious and watchful of what we did.

Mikey was the one who really made me stop and reevaluate our lives. We all knew he was the baby. It was the unspoken agreement. At first to Raph and I, it meant he was the one to pick on. The poor kid would believe everything we told him. We took advantage of this one day and told him the bat cave was connected to one of the sewers. Being one who worshiped superheroes, Mike took off at once to find it. We laughed and waited for him to come crying home after a few minutes when he gave up.

After a half hour, Raph and I forgot about it and went off to our own thing-we did everything together then. When we returned a few hours later, Mikey was still gone. Splinter was ushering us off to bed that night when he realized the youngest turtle was missing. With a sense of guilt, I remembered the trick we had played on him. Afraid of getting in trouble, Raph and I didn't say anything. It wasn't until early the next morning that our sensei returned, carrying Mikey in his arms. He was half-frozen and shaking, sick for weeks to come. I'd done that to him. I think that was the turning point for me. We were around 7 at the time. I guess I had a short lived childhood.

I didn't realize how those years would shape my life up to now. It wasn't until we became full-fledged teenagers that it dawned on me what a stick I had become. Raph and I still ran off to find adventures, but most of the time, I was just making sure he didn't get hurt instead of enjoying myself. When he realized that I was just slowing him down, he started going off alone- a habit he continues with to this day.

It was around this time that I really started focusing on my training. It wasn't just something to do now that Raph had grown tired of me, it was a way to make sure that I could protect all my brothers should the need arise. I wasn't unhappy with my life then. I still had fun. My brothers and I were closer than any 4…turtles could be, but there was always the thought in my mind that it fell upon me to keep them safe.

So I guess I became the leader because of my own thoughts. I think therefore I am? Well if that's true, I don't understand why I'm still the oldest now. I've failed as a leader and worse, as a brother. I couldn't keep my own family out of harm's way. The one job I have, and I couldn't even do that right.

I'm training right now because it's all I can do to keep myself from being torn from the inside out. The guilt eats at me until it's too much to bear and so this is what I do; swinging my swords at invisible enemies, at least invisible to everyone else. To me, they're as tangible as my own flesh, and beating them is the only way I'm going to be able to redeem myself and save my family.


	2. Here is Gone

A/N: OMG you guys are amazing! I only posted last night and I got reviews...tear. Well here's another one...character introspectiveness again...I'll make it more interesting after I get through all the brothers. I can't stand it much longer either, don't worry!

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The familiar clang of Leo's swords woke me up for about the fifth time this week. Which is like…well every morning I guess since we got home from Casey's grandma's farm. I don't really get why he's doing it. I mean, Shredder's gone forever, right? There's nothing left to train for, except video games maybe. I've been getting tons of practice there since Splinter still wants us to heal and that means I get to stay off my feet. I'd never been so grateful to have my legs broken before. 

I have to admit, even Raphie is getting better at Goldeneye. He can almost give me a run for my money. I guess since he can't physically beat me up right now, he just has to settle for trying to do it through video games. Good thing I got home field advantage.

The noise of Leo's katanas slicing through the air was suddenly joined by a distinct grunt of pain. I jumped to my feet and quickly hobbled to the rail where I could look down on the main floor. Leo had dropped one sword and was gingerly holding his shoulder, moving it in small circles to loosen up the muscles.

My sigh was enough to make him twist his head up to look at me, leaning against the rail as I watched him. "Morning, Sunshine." I smiled, combating the scowl on his face which softened.

"Hey, Mike…" He grunted, looking back down to find his sword.

I almost didn't ask my next question. It was like trying to get Raph to admit that I beat him in a fight. "You…alright?"

From his hesitation, I almost thought he was going to tell the truth. Then he sent me a look that I knew too well. Basically he was saying it's a stupid question. Of course it was, But I'm Michelangelo, and I have a reputation to uphold, don't I?

Leo picked up his fallen katana and turned his back to me to continue, baring the scar that now marred his shell. So I'm not really as dense as you think. I know exactly why Leo's pushing himself so hard. I just think it's a stupid reason and he's beating himself up for nothing. I mean, let's face it, Karai's a beast. There's no shame in losing to a girl when it's her… Alright, I'm just kidding again, being serious isn't a strong suit of mine and why should it be? Leo's got enough of that for everyone.

I do feel bad for him though. I wish I knew what really was bugging him so much, but Leo's always been the silent type. I sat with my feet hanging down between the banisters to watch him. I'm not analytical like Donny, but if anything, I can usually manage to read my brother's emotions. It comes from years of figuring out whether Raph REALLY wanted to kill me, or just wanted to pummel me for a prank that his pride wouldn't let him laugh at.

But Leo has been doing a pretty good impression of a brick wall lately, and I can't quite read their emotions yet. Watching him now though, he seemed to let some of his guard down as he worked. An image of Raph ready to pounce on me for painting his sais pink came to mind. In a word, he was pissed. I don't see Leo pissed off too much. It's kinda freaky. There was something else in his eyes, but I admit I'm too shallow to figure it out just yet.

He noticed I was still watching him after a few minutes and stopped. "Mikey, you should go back to bed. There's at least another hour before Master Splinter will come out to wake you up."

"You gonna come up too?" I asked hopefully, but knowing it was useless.

"I'm…gonna keep practicing."

I sighed loudly, pulling my feet back up and going into my room. I remember when Leo was the fun brother. I owe my entire pranking career to his tutelage in fact. My very first prank was after I had been sick for a while. I was still mad at Raph for telling me that Batman lived in our sewer. Leo was going to come with me to find him, but Raph held him back to play a game, leaving me to go alone. I got lost of course and it was hours before Sensei found me curled up, freezing my shell off.

Leo had stayed with me a lot, reading me comics while I was still sick. He'd defended me when Raph was giving me a hard time. Finally, after I'd almost leapt out of my bed when he snatched away one of my Justice Force issues, Leo devised a way to pay him back. During the night, when everyone was asleep, we stayed up and tied huge rubber spiders above Raph's bunk so they were hanging down just over his face. The next morning, we woke up to his screams and I learned about the smug satisfaction of pulling off a prank. I think he's been scared of bugs ever since…

Leo and I did it together for years, finding shaving cream bottles to pile into our brother's hands and then get them to smear it all over their own faces, dying Raph's bath water pink so he ran around with the ugliest colored shell for about a month… I don't know when Leo stopped, but I kept on the tradition by myself. I admit, it's not as fun without him…

I heard another grunt of pain from downstairs and turned my face into my pillow, shutting my eyes tightly.


	3. Running Away

A/N: Almost there, people, one more chapter. Then I get to have fun...so here's the next one, reviews please!!!

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I had woken up when Leo left our bunk early in the morning hours. He was always quiet about it, not wanting to wake me up, but we're both notorious light sleepers. The first few days I had questioned him about it and then it just turned into begging him to go back to sleep.

As the resident doctor and the least injured, it fell on me to make sure everyone was recovering alright. Unfortunately I can only deal with the physical aspect of it. I feared Leo was beyond my help, his scars less visible than the one on his back that I couldn't tear my eyes away from every day.

Of all my brothers, I identified with Leo the most. We were the level headed ones, mostly quiet. I usually felt like the odd one out. Fighting is not where my talents lie. Sure I can hold my own and beat my fair share of enemies, but even Mikey is more skilled than I am. Leo was the one who kept me going really. He recognized where my strengths were and called on me, ME, to help on every mission. Coming from him, it meant a lot. I've always looked up to him.

Now I felt like I was losing a lifeline. I'd stopped confronting Leo every morning that he left in fear of alienating him completely. But it was happening anyways and…I was scared. Scared that I had finally met a problem that science couldn't solve…scared that I was losing a brother, and my best friend.

Somehow I fell back asleep until Raph's familiar loud voice echoed around the lair

* * *

RAPHAEL

"Mikey!" I stormed across the floor to stand below where my youngest brother appeared, stumbling out of his room to look down at me.

"What?" He moaned, rubbing his eyes, leaning heavily on the railing.

"My bag! My punching bag. What did you do?!" I pointed behind me to where my most prized possession lay sprawled across the floor, sand spreading out from a gash in the side.

Mikey squinted, trying to focus on it. "I dunno, Dude."

"I know you're good at it, but stop playing stupid, Mike!" My hand unconsciously gripped the handle of my sai.

"Leave him alone, Raph, it was my fault." A quiet voice came from behind the couch.

I turned from glaring up at Mikey and stalked to the sitting area. Leo was slumped so low on the couch I hadn't even seen him there. My anger was suddenly subdued somewhat. "You wrecked my bag?" I had stopped yelling, but my voice still dripped with venom.

"It was an accident." He pushed himself up a bit more, turning his head slightly so I caught sight of the side of his face. I stopped dead, the fire that had so recently been raging extinguished in a second. "I'll fix it, I promise."

I sighed heavily, "Fine…" I turned and quickly went for the kitchen, my stomach twisting. If Leo had attacked me, I would have felt better, but what he had just done… I didn't like it. It wasn't him. 'It's a stupid bag, get over it.' THAT would have been normal, or at least a challenging, 'Yeah.' I was growing real tired of whatever emotional episode he was going through.

Don was coming into the kitchen at the same time, a tired Mikey behind him. We all shared an awkward look before grabbing our preferred breakfast and sitting around the table, eating silently.

"Want me to make you something, Leo?" Mikey called. "We got eggs." I don't know why the kid is still trying.

"Not hungry…" Leo replied, barely audible to us in the kitchen.

I shot Mikey a look, telling him he shouldn't have expected anything else. He looked down at his food, sighing.

"Morning, my sons."

We didn't bother looking up, just gave the traditional reply in chorus. "Morning, Sensei."

I caught him raising an eyebrow, probably hearing the less than enthusiastic tones in our tired voices. "Where is Leonardo?"

I tossed a thumb over my shoulder while continuing to eat, indicating he was on the couch. Splinter glanced over and back at me, asking for a more thorough explanation. I ignored it. If Leo was throwing some pity party, I wanted no part of it.

* * *

MICHELANGELO

Raph's indifference was really pissing me off. In absence of his response, I gave Sensei my own questioning look. I always looked to Leo for an answer, but now I had to resort back to our original protector. He gave me a comforting fatherly smile and turned in the direction Raph had pointed.

"Leonardo." He called.

No reply came. Now we were all looking at Master Splinter. He moved toward the couch and disappeared behind it for a second before popping up again. "Donatello." He said, more urgently, motioning for him to come.

Don hopped up and hurried over with me following close behind. My heart was definitely beating faster than normal. I stood with him behind the couch, looking down at what seemed like a sleeping Leo.

Master Splinter was running a hand across his forehead. "Leonardo, my son." He whispered.

A groan escaped Leo's lips as he turned his head away.

"Leo?" I asked, surprised at how soft my voice was. I don't think I've ever managed that before.

His eyes snapped open, staring up at me. They narrowed in confusion, darting from Donny to Splinter. Leo took in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh, putting a hand over his eyes.

He started to sit up and Donny instantly put a hand on his shoulder. "Take it easy."

"I just fell asleep. Chill." Leo shrugged him off.

I caught the look Splinter was sending behind my oldest brother's back to Donny and he too put a hand on Leo. "I agree with your brother. Rest today, Leonardo."

"I appreciate it, Master Splinter, but I'm fine. Rest is the last thing I need." He stood up and started to walk away. I noticed Raph was still eating at the table, not caring what was going on behind him.

Donny was intent on Master Splinter, something had obviously transpired that I missed. "Dude, Sensei, what-."

"Finish your breakfast, Michelangelo." He said kindly. "We will talk later."

I wanted to protest, but I made the noise that only teenagers can when frustrated and went back to the kitchen to my soggy fruit loops. Raph didn't even acknowledge that anything had happened. It took a few minutes for him to realize that I was glaring at him.

"What." He barked.

I shook my head and pushed back from the table, dumping the rest of my food into the sink. Leo had disappeared, probably into the dojo. Vaguely, I wondered if how he'd been acting this morning had anything to do with the grunts of pain I'd been hearing from him in the morning. But he probably really was just tired. I mean he wakes up before the sun and works his tail off until midnight. I'd be exhausted too.

It was Splinter's and Donny's looks that gave me the sinking feeling that something else was going on.


	4. Bent

A/N: Dang people! The reviews are so amazing. Damgel…dang girl, you're freaking awesome. I love you? LOL. Thanks so much, and yeah…pretty much hit the nail on the head there. I'm glad you're okay with the first person thing, cuz I do both and sometimes it's sooo hard to do first person. I'm kinda struggling with it, but when you get it right, it's fun to do. So here's the next one, we'll be getting some more Raphie soon, no worries

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DONATELLO

Our practice that morning was lighter than usual. Granted they had all been pretty light since we returned from the farmhouse, but this was even a step down from that. Everyone seemed to appreciate it, except of course our favorite older brother.

It was almost like holding back was painful for Leo, but if he wasn't going to rest himself, then we were going to have to force him to. It didn't really work as he just kept pushing himself in the afternoon hours to let off his pent up energy.

We tried to act as normal as possible. I wanted to talk with Master Splinter more, but he had disappeared into his room and we never disturbed him there. Mikey had a comic in front of his eyes, but was mostly watching Leo. Raph might as well have been mourning over a dead pet the way he babied his punching bag as he sewed it back up. Apparently Leo had forgotten his promise to fix it or Raph hadn't trusted him with the sacred task.

During the night session, we were focusing on meditation. Usually, Leo loved this kind of thing. He was darn good at it and I always thought of it as where he got his strength from.

Tonight, sitting around in a sort of circle, I sensed Leo shifting restlessly, more so even than Mikey. Sensei had told me just before in private that he would try to penetrate Leo's mind and see what was going on. Maybe it was the cause of my brother's uneasiness.

When we finished, Leo couldn't have left faster if the room were on fire. Raph was out soon after, but at the lazy pace natural for him. Mikey lingered, wanting answers. I looked to Master Splinter for approval.

"You may stay Michelangelo. I believe you can be of much help."

"Finally." He said excitedly.

"So…did you get anything?" I asked.

Sensei sighed as he did when something was heavy on his mind. "Leonardo has always taken it upon himself to carry a heavy burden alone. His soul is deeply troubled. His mind is closed to me, and he has done it himself willingly. While he accepted help from each of you, including myself, before our recent outing, I do not believe this is the case now."

"You're saying Leo doesn't want us to help him anymore?" Mikey asked quizzically.

"He simply does not wish to trust your safety with anyone but himself. But at the same time, he doubts his ability to do so." Splinter explained softly.

"Which means that if any of us gets in trouble, or hurt, he's going to blame it on himself somehow." I added.

"Correct, Donatello." He nodded.

"Well that's dumb." My younger brother scoffed. I loved how innocent and naïve he could be sometimes. There was no gray area; just what he saw that made sense. And Leo's behavior wasn't a part of that.

Master Splinter actually smiled. "You're heart is pure, Michelangelo. It is a strength that I believe will assist your brother at this troubled time in his life. You and your other brother's support and reassurances are all that can help him now."

"So that means we're leaving Raphie out of this plan, doesn't it?" Mikey added with a tone of disgust, foreign to him.

"I will talk with your brother, Michelangelo. But no, it does not. Leonardo's behavior is hurting Raphael more than you may think."

Before Mikey could make another doubtful remark, the clang of metal on metal reached our ears.

"Did you mean that literally, Sensei?" Mikey asked quickly as we rushed out of the room to, not surprisingly, find Leo and Raph at each other's throats. A few weeks ago, they might have been sparring for practice, but the fire in their eyes told me that this was definitely not the case now.

Leo's katana was just blocking the sai that was swinging toward his side, quickly countered with a kick that hit Raph square in the chest. He charged forward immediately and a second later, Leo's and Raph's weapons were locked together as they tried to force the other one to back down by brute force. That would never end well…

Suddenly they were both knocked aside as Mikey sent a flying kick directly at their weapons, scattering them to the floor. I think we all stared at him in shock for a few minutes. I expected Raph to be the first to speak up, angry and demanding that Mikey back off. Instead he was staring down at Leo with wide eyes, breathing heavily.

"What is going on here?" Splinter demanded angrily.

"Fearless over there attacked me." Raph explained, his gruff voice taking on an unnatural high quality.

Leo was pushing himself up, and I noticed the flash of a grimace on his face before he hid it again.

"Leonardo?" Our Sensei turned to him questioningly.

"He was asking for it." Our normally calm brother growled in response.

"Never heard that one before..." Mikey's forehead wrinkled in confusion as he turned to face Leo. "Dude, did Raph possess you or something?"

If looks could kill… Leo angrily grabbed up his swords, sheathing them. He was about to storm off when Splinter called his name again, not asking this time; it was an order. We all flinched even though it was only Leo he was addressing.

My cell decided that this would be the perfect time to ring. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled it out, and shut it off. "Sorry…" I muttered, but no one was listening. They were all watching Leo and Master Splinter, staring at each other. My brother's gaze was full of fire, but Sensei's was firm and full of authority. You can't refuse that look…

Before anyone had decided to move, my cell rang again. I stifled a curse and flipped it open. "Hello?" I answered impatiently, turning from the scene and heading for the hallway.

"Donny?" The woman sounded on the verge of tears, her voice shaking.

"April? What's wrong?" I demanded.

"They're here, Don. We can't hold them off anymore-." The line went dead after a loud static burst.

I stopped dead, and spun on my heel, running back into the main room, my heart threatening to explode out of my chest.

Leo was beginning to yell something, but I cut him off. "We have to deal with this later!"

All eyes were on me now. "What is it, Donatello?" Master Splinter asked.

"April's in trouble, we have to help her." I pleaded breathlessly.

There was a moment's hesitation, involving a glance at Leo, before Sensei nodded. "Go my sons. Leonardo." He added more sternly. They shared a look that only Leo and Master Splinter could share. I never understood how they could convey an entire conversation into one expression.

Leo seemed to have let down his anger enough in light of the situation to listen. He nodded once and led us out of the lair into the night.


	5. Atrophy

A/N: Damgel, you like, made my night. I was laughing so hard. I love it. You're pretty freaking awesome. AAND I can't forget my other reviewers, who I totally love too. Thank you everyone! So here's some action...kinda sucks...but in my other stories, they have guns, not ninja stuff. So forgive me. But here it is.

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MICHELANGELO

I don't think I've ever seen Leo run so fast before. My heart was pounding in my ears, and I admit it's not because I was scared for April, even though I still was…it was because I was running out of breath. Maybe it was the box of pizza I had before practice…but I'm the quick one of the family, the vault of endless energy. I'm supposed to be at the front…behind Leo of course, cuz he is the leader…and he'd get attacked first if ambushed.

"I thought- Leo was supposed to be…tired." I gasped as we ran across the rooftops.

Donny just gave me an exasperated look. I don't think he had breath to spare.

"You trust him leadin' us right now?" Raph asked us as he ran up between Don and me.

"Don't you?" I asked, giving him a sideways glance before trying to close the gap with Leo and running ahead. I almost tripped over him as he stopped on the roof of the building next to April's and then I noticed why. "Holy shell."

The foot were crawling…some were literally crawling I might add, all over the place. It seemed like even though they had easily broken into the lower shop, April's apartment seemed harder to penetrate due to some upgrades of Don's, namely the thick metal plates that slid down behind the windows. Of course that didn't mean they hadn't found some other way of getting in.

Already, some goons were working on beating down the door on the roof.

"Not these freaks." Raph groaned. "Shouldn't they be gone?"

"What's the plan, Bro?" I asked, itching to get into the action. It had been to long since the last time I got to hit these guys…I hope Raph isn't rubbing off on all of us.

"Don and I will take bottom." Raph volunteered as he surveyed the scene.

"No." Leo snapped. "We stick together. Don, what's the most vulnerable entrance?"

"The roof. I sealed her front door pretty well."

"That's where we start then. We get April and get out. That's it."

As we leaped across to April's building, it almost felt like old times. Leo sounded like his normal self and we were back to slaughtering Shredder's foot fungus. Then I started noticing something was off. Compared to how out of breath I was before, now I felt like this was too easy. Were the foot losing their touch?

After a good knock out hit to one of the goons, I took the opportunity to look around and see how my other brothers were faring. Don and Raph looked almost bored, easily defeating the few guys around them. Donny took his chance to head for the door and that's when I noticed that Leo had attracted a mosh pit around him. It wasn't that they were focused on him; it's that whenever another foot tried to run for one of us, Leo would draw him back into the fight with himself.

Moron.

"I'm in, let's go!" Donny ordered, standing at the now open door and throwing off a few guys who tried to get past him.

Raph and I joined him quickly, but before going down, I looked back to see Leo still fighting. "Dude!"

"I'll keep them out here, go get April!" He yelled back while blocking two attacks at once.

So three turtles to grab one woman, and one turtle to fight off 30 foot…I may be stupid, but even that math doesn't add up to me. I was heading back out onto the roof when I heard Raph's voice calling me from April's apartment.

"Ugh. This better be good!" I hurried down into her apartment and saw the problem. A hole had been blasted into one of her walls and foot were creeping through one by one. None other than Casey Jones was protectively standing in front of April who appeared unconscious. He himself looked uglier than usual with some bruises on his face.

Raph and Don were working on pushing the foot back out. I dragged a couch over and slammed it in front of the hole just as another one tried to jump through. I sat down on it almost casually, feeling it vibrate as the guys outside pounded on it. "This isn't gonna hold long."

"We need a new way out. We can't get April away by the roof." Donny explained quickly, moving over to her and Casey to see what the extents of their injuries were.

"Gee, now is when the Battle Shell would have come in handy." Raph said sarcastically.

"Dude! It wasn't my fault!" I defended, feeling an especially violent jolt of the couch.

"Yeah, it crashed by itself."

"Guys, we don't have time for this…Where's Leo?" Don asked, turning away from April to look back at me.

"Uh…" I hesitated.

Saving me from being blamed for yet another thing, Leo ran down the steps just then. "They okay?" He immediately asked Donny.

"They will be once we get them out of here. Hence our problem; how do we get out?"

There was something like a flash of panic in Leo's eyes as he looked around at all of us. Just as quickly, it was gone.

"My van's out back in the alley." Casey offered, his words slurred from a fat lip.

"How do you suggest we get there, shell for brains?" Raph shot back, now helping me barricade the hole in the wall with a second couch.

"We're gonna have to use the back fire escape." Leo said, "Raph, you help April."

"That thing's gonna be crawling with the foot, right?" I interrupted.

"I'll go first, Mikey." He reassured.

"I'd have to take down the rest of the security measures for us to do that." Donny added.

Leo hesitated. "Then I'll go back up on the roof and draw their attention away enough for you to have time to get out."

"So you're bait?" I scoffed.

"Got a better idea?" He snapped. "We have to move now."

"Take this." Donny handed him something. "It's a gas pellet, should knock out anyone in a 10 foot radius."

"Get to the car and get away from here as fast as you can." Leo ordered after taking it and slipping it into his belt. A second later, he was back up the stairs and we heard the brief but violent sounds of battle before it was silenced again as the door shut.

Donny instantly set to work on lowering all the security stuff. "There's a five second delay after I press this button. Everyone ready?"

I was first in line to leave through the back window…don't ask me why I got stuck there. Raph was behind me, carrying April, followed by Casey who seemed to be able to support himself. Those five seconds were probably the longest of my life and I dreaded the hoards of foot ninjas that would be waiting for me on the other side.

Suddenly the metal barrier dropped, revealing the broken window on the other side. I braced myself for an immediate attack….but it didn't come. I climbed out onto the fire escape full of unconscious Foot. I don't care how it happened, I'm just glad they were.

The rest of the Foot were now managing to break into the apartment and I hurried down the ladder as quickly as I could. They were coming up from the bottom now too. I placed my hands on the railing and kicked both feet up at the guy in front. A domino effect sent the guys behind him reeling over the edge to the pavement below.

We made it to the alley and Donny and I held off the tide of ninjas now heading for us as Raph got Casey and April into the car. We were being forced back toward them and I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep fighting.

So I'm convinced the powers that be hate me because just then, the massive shadow of King Kong's hairless little brother, a.k.a Hun, was stalking toward us. Just imagining what he could do to my body magnified the pain and exhaustion that was already creeping up on me. For once, I was regretting the weeks of inactivity.

Out of nowhere, a figure came leaping down and crashed feet first onto Hun's face, sending him careening backwards. Leo smoothly flipped back and landed in front of us. "Get in the car." He ordered.

We quickly obeyed and Don jumped into the driver's seat, starting up Casey's junk heap with a noise that must have woken up the dead in Jersey. I kept the side door open, waiting for Leo to jump in, but he never did.

The van was soon shaking as the Foot tried to force their way in. Don swerved the van into the next alley, sending most of them flying off and swinging the side door shut on its own. Now even more Foot were blocking our path to the street.

"Run 'em over!" Raph yelled, not surprisingly. Don was about to do just that when the hulking menace appeared in front of us again.

"Then again, pedestrians have the right of way." I added weakly.

For the second time, Leo came to the rescue, landing on the hood of the car and using it to propel himself forward, swords flashing, toward Hun. I winced as he raised a large drain pipe and swung it at our brother like a bat. Leo flew against the brick wall, but was back on his feet in a second. "Go!" He yelled at us before charging Hun, moving him out of the way of the van. The Foot were crowding us again so Donny had no choice but to floor it.

"We have to go back!" I cried, my face pressed against the rear window, watching April's apartment disappear.

"He's right, Don." Raph joined in.

"What about April and Casey? They need help now."

I think I hated Donny more than anyone in the world at that second. But mostly because he was right…

"Stop the car!" Raph ordered. "I'll go myself."

"I'm sorry, I can't!" Before Raph could yell again, Donny explained. "We're being followed."

I looked back to see that he was right. No less than 3 cars were on our tail. Raph punched the dashboard and swore loudly

* * *

LEONARDO

As soon as my brothers were out of sight, I allowed myself a smug grin at the beast before me. "You lose."

"That's what you think, Freak." Hun clenched his massive fists and swung at me.

I don't know why I didn't stop him. I didn't even try to move. I just felt the boulder-like weight crash into my side, sending me flying in a haze of pain. My strength had left me, not that I had much to begin with. I'd been running on fumes all night. The threat on my family was the only thing that kept me standing. Now that they were safe…there was nothing left.

I expected another blow to end it at any second. Instead I felt the cold sharp steal of a blade lifting my chin. My eyes cracked open to a narrow glare to see who was there. The long sword belonged to a tall man (at least he seemed tall from where I was sprawled against the alley wall), dressed in clothes that were similar to what Saki used to. But it wasn't the Shredder.

"You recognize me." His voice was high-pitched, but rough, like an old man's. From his gray hair, it was probably true, but he was anything but frail.

"I've never seen you before in my life." I managed to say hoarsely.

"Not in waking, no." He shook his head a smile on his face that conveyed anything but happiness. "But you have seen me."

My heart seemed to have stopped beating. "Why does it matter?"

His grin grew. "I have come to reiterate a message. There is no place you can hide, nothing you can do, that will keep us from coming after you and your 'family.'"

"Don't you dare touch them." I growled, catching a glimpse of my swords lying useless across the alley.

His laugh was like a cold fist constricting my chest. "You will get what you deserve." Suddenly, my world went black.


	6. Regret

A/N: Ok, this is gonna be a short filler chapter, just so I can get something up. Raph needs some persuading to get his feelings out anyways… and I never really got to do him very well. So here it is, expect to get back to the story in the next chapter tomorrow.

RAPHAEL

Every minute we spent trying to shake our 3 tailing cars was another minute Leo spent alone. Twice, I'd tried to grab the wheel from Don, but he refused, shoving me off. Mikey even held me back, fearing I'd make us crash and then end we'd up getting caught anyways.

20 minutes: That's how long we were swerving from street to street. 20 whole minutes, we had abandoned Leo to the Foot to save our own shells. Part of me feared the worst. Even our fearless leader couldn't--

I took to looking after Casey during our violent ride to keep my thoughts occupied. He'd received a nasty gash from a foot soldier just before we'd entered the van back at April's, so I kept pressure on it.

Still my thoughts wandered. The idea of never getting Leo back left my stomach feeling like the bottom had dropped out. But then again…we hadn't had Leo back for a long time. I know my brothers and I are trying to convince ourselves that he was back to his old self tonight, but inside, we know it's not true.

I caught looks in Leo's eyes that made my blood run cold. Don't even think about making a pun outta that.

My fears from the past few weeks were confirmed. Since we came back from defeating Shredder, I haven't said anything…I've refused to even look at him. He'd always been a little outside the circle and was just as independent as I claimed to be. That made me think whatever issue he was having, he could get over it himself and wanted to do it that way. It was his responsibility anyways. He was supposed to be strong for us. But Leo wasn't Leo anymore. I guess you couldn't understand unless you grew up with him, but he was different.

Leo had a sense of humor, not as annoying as Mikey's, but he had one. He was almost hyperactive, but always had a sense of compassion that could take over in an instant. Leo was a pro at transitioning from a teasing, rambunctious kid to comforting older brother. I should know- we were inseparable for the first 10 years of our lives. Over the next seven our relationship deteriorated into what we are now. It's my fault. I know it is… He should recognize it too, only he blames himself for it, just like everything else.

Does Leo have to be so perfect?! Gosh, if he could just be selfish, do SOMETHING wrong, just once! At the same time… I don't want to see his flaws. I have enough of my own and someone needs to be the rock that I can't be. I need that foundation, something I know we can fall back on when I screw up.

Have I ever said this out loud? No. Never will either. Admitting that would puts years of building walls to waste. I know my problem, if you wanna call it that. No one needs to tell me. I'm not stupid. I'm just so used to where I am…and change is not a thing I'm fond of. It's worked out fine up until now, so there's no way I'm gonna go soft and get all emotional. What good does that do?

Early on, Leo and I realized we were the strongest. As kids, that's all you care about. Then Splinter has to go on about this inner strength crap. It didn't sink into my young mind the way it did Leo's. I noticed his skill improving beyond me and yeah, I was jealous.

Instead of admitting my folly of youth and starting over, I continued acting tough. It became who I was. The only satisfaction I got was from tearing Leo down, the only obstacle I saw in my way. With him around, I didn't really see my purpose of being there. What could I contribute?

I always attacked first because that's the only way I could prove myself. Mike and Don would follow without listening to Leo just because we loved the thrill of the fight. That sense of control I could have was a major force in driving us apart. The taste of that kind of power was…thrilling. Inside I know I could never take Leo's place. I don't want to really… The freedom to screw up and have my older brother make up for it is too important to me to give up.

So I'm a selfish prick, what's new? I need Leo to be okay because I can't lead this family. These past few weeks, I've been ignoring the problem because …it scares me- yes I said scared, get over it. I don't even want to imagine what our family would dissolve into without his leadership. We've had a glimpse of it lately, he led us yeah, but not as Leo. It wasn't real leadership, it was just a wall he put up to guard his own feelings.

As much as I push him to his limits and piss him off, I've never stopped thinking of Leo as my best friend. I'm just too much of a coward to make a difference.


	7. Up Against the Wall

A/N: Awesome reviews! I missed you Damgel, LOL, but thanks so much to all the people who found this and gave reviews too! I was so excited to find all these new people reviewing...you make my day. SOO I'm gonna come out and say it. I hate this chapter. But it's what came out. And...I'm gonna stick with it. Maybe out of laziness? But maybe there's somewhere I can go with it too, idk. Did I mention I take suggestions? I'm totally making this up as I go, I have a general plot line, but not much more than that...

And I kinda jumped POVs in this one, on purpose in some parts, and then i just wanted to see it from someone else's eyes? If you want me to do one character POV for each chapter, I'll do it. I know it can get confusing. So just tell me.

* * *

DONATELLO 

I keep thinking there was something I could have done differently. I've run through the scenario countless times just in the half-hour since we left April's, but every time it comes down to the fact that no matter what I did, Leo had the last say. And he wanted us to be safe without any thought to himself…or maybe it was. That thought just scared me more.

Either way, we'd left him, alone. I'd left him…

I didn't have long to think about it as the 3 cars tailing us had taken to trying to shoot out our tires. Casey's gutless wonder left me longing to have the Battle Shell back, but I had to make do with what I had- which came to a rusted heap of metal and gasoline…perfect. I'm not even kidding.

"Raph, grab Casey. Mike, get April!"

"Why?!" My youngest brother questioned, eyes wide.

"We're gonna jump." I said calmly. "We'll pass an alley in exactly thirty seconds not far from the lair. Get the door open."

Raph was the first to jump into action. Mikey stared at the street passing quickly. "Can we slow down first? You know…for April."

"They can't suspect we left the van. Now get ready." I pinned the accelerator down with Casey's baseball bat. Only slightly holding onto the steering wheel to keep the car moving straight, I moved next to my brothers. "On three." I said, trying to ignore the way my own heart was pounding.

The alley was coming up a little faster than I'd anticipated. "Three!" Raph leaped and I gave Mikey an encouraging shove before jumping out with him. I hit the ground feet first but momentum threw me into a nauseating spin cycle as I rolled into a parked car. My head was still spinning when Raph dragged me into the alley. I shook it off quickly enough to see the three cars racing past us, following the now empty van. Thanks to Casey's crappy alignment, it wasn't long before we heard screeching tires, followed closely by a loud crash and explosion.

A large moving van we passed while jumping out had hopefully blocked our exit. Until they figured out the burning wreckage of the van contained no bodies, we were dead to the Foot. It would give us enough time to get April and Casey to safety back at the lair.

It took two of us to support the hockey-stick wielding vigilante now. He'd hit his head on impact as well, but was still disoriented. Mikey was left to carry April. Neither of them was mortally injured, but would still need some attention before we dared leave them alone.

The walk back to the lair through the sewers was quiet. I think we were all avoiding the discussion that would be inevitably brought up once we faced Splinter.

Too quickly, Mikey was pulling the lever that revealed our hidden home. We stumbled inside, exhausted.

"My sons." Normally a comforting voice, it now sent ice through my heart. "What has happened?"

None of us answered at first, busying ourselves with settling April and Casey onto the couches. I turned to see Master Splinter gazing at us with his penetrating eyes. He can pierce souls with those things… They flitted between the two humans and each of my brothers before resting on me. I don't know why he chose to single me out, but he did. Maybe he thought my usually rational mind could explain what my emotional brothers could not. "Donatello? Where is Leonardo?"

I flinched and then shut my eyes completely for a few seconds. "Sensei…" I began, but Raph cut me off.

"I'm going to go get him right now." He said gruffly, sais gripped tightly in his fists as he turned to leave.

"Raph." I said quietly, shaking my head.

Splinter was getting impatient, something he never did. "What has happened?" He asked shortly.

"We were trying to get away." I began quietly, my voice monotone. "Leo…he-."

I was interrupted again by the sound of the elevator sliding its giant stone doors open. I thought Raph was trying to leave, and turned to yell at him that it was hopeless, but he was standing right behind me, staring blankly to the now open doors flooding our lair with a white light. A lone dark figure was in the center, casting a familiar shadow across us.

Leo?

My jaw dropped.

* * *

RAPHAEL

I'm gonna kill him. The shock at him being alive was gone in a second. Now I just wanted to rip him apart. I really thought I might never see him again…Who does that to their family?!

We all stood for what felt like hours before anyone moved. Of course Mikey can't sit still for longer than 30 seconds, so he was the first to regain mobility

* * *

MICHELANGELO

"Leo!" I knew he was okay. The way Donny was talking, you'd a thought he'd died or something. Psh, Leo doesn't die. He's like Silver Sentry. You don't just kill heroes. They're like, invincible or something. My bro can get out of anything.

But I stopped short of giving him my famous bear-hug. "Oh, man." I muttered quietly. I immediately was reminded of the time he'd been thrown through the window at April's. If I thought he looked bad then, this was night of the living dead. "Leo?"

Blood ran down the side of his face, his mask now a sickly blackish color in some spots. There were gashes across his arms and more than a few nasty bruises. Despite my shock, he seemed to be holding himself up just fine. In fact, his eyes flashed with something like anger when I voiced my concern.

"April and Casey?" He asked urgently.

"What?" It took a minute to register what he was asking. "They're fine. Just some bruises. They're unconscious-." I can't believe I was wasting time explaining their condition. "Don't worry about them right now, Leo. Are you okay, Dude?"

"I'm fine, what about the others?"

Donny came over and joined us. "We're all perfectly okay…Leo…You on the other hand…"

"I said I'm fine." Leo brushed him off impatiently and walked between us, a painful limp evident.

I stared at Donny, at a loss. His mouth opened and shut, trying to find words. Finally he managed. "Why don't you let me take a look at that cut?"

"Which one?" I muttered.

"Just stop, Don!" Leo snapped, spinning to glare at him, but in the process nearly falling over. Raph came to his aid, helping to steady him, but Leo whirled on him too.

"Leo, just listen. You need to stop playin it tough and let Donny take a look at you." His voice was still rough…but soft for Raph.

"He is right, my son." Splinter said, speaking for the first time since our battered brother showed up.

"Sensei, I'm tired. I'm just gonna go to bed." Leo almost pleaded.

"You are not well, Leonardo. Let your brothers help you."

Now, I'm surprised I picked up on this, but I don't think he was just talking about Leo's bloody appearance.

* * *

RAPHAEL

I still kept an arm out, ready to grab my idiotic brother if he fell again. Part of me wanted to knock him out myself and get it over with. And they say I'm stubborn…

"No."

I'm pretty sure we all did a double take then. Mikey's jaw couldn't have dropped any lower unless he hit the floor. My eyes just widened slightly. Splinter Jr. just said no? To Sensei? And here I was trying to help him. The world really was turning upside down now.

I noticed how quick Leo's breathing had become. My own heart was starting to pound again. He put a hand to his head and started to stumble toward the stairs to his room. I saw him falter for a split second on the first step and managed to reach him in time before he cracked his head, catching him and holding him tightly. "Donny!"

He was already rushing over along with everyone else. My purple-clad brother checked Leo's pulse. "Bring him over here." Lifting Leo, I found he was abnormally light. I laid him down on the cot in Donny's lab and let him get to work.

I backed up and grit my teeth, glaring down at the beaten and unconscious body. Then I did what I always do…I ran. No one tried to stop me. Good thing too…

Leo may have been alive…but I still did not have my brother back.


	8. Behind Those Eyes

A/N: Alright, so looking back, I couldn't tell you why i hated that chapter, cuz yall pretty much changed my mind. Thanks, ;). I was gonna make this one longer, but I figured I'll just put it up and get to sleep cuz I need that sometimes. But thanks so much and heres the next chapter, keep the reviews coming! I seriously dont write without them.

Discalimer: forgot this? oh well, it's not mine, and this poor student makes no profit from it. And if you wanna be picky, the chapter titles are from songs and I don't own those either...not that anyone can tell i do that anyways.

* * *

LEONARDO

No matter how fast we ran, they kept falling, one by one. First Splinter, then Don, Mikey, Raph… It was just me now, my arms and legs pumping as fast as they could, tears streaming as I watched my family disappear.

Then he was there, blocking my path. I stopped and walked backwards, staring in terror at the figure before me. It was the old man, wizened and wrinkled as though something had latched onto his face and sucked the life out. His high-pitched voice cackled, sending chills down my spine. "I warned you…nothing can stop us…"

I was frozen in his gaze, unable to move. His powerful arms, in contrast to his frail features, hefted the thick sword at this side. It swung toward my neck, light flashing menacingly off of the blade, calling for my blood…

My eyes shot open. I sat up gasping for air, my hand clawing at my throat.

"Leo!" I vaguely heard Don's voice calling frantically and soon felt his hands on my shoulders, trying to push me back down. I tried to fight him off, but my muscles felt like lead. They wouldn't obey me. "Leo, look at me!" I felt him forcefully turning my head and was met with a blur of purple and green. "Breathe." He ordered, and I saw his eyes clearly. His brown eyes were wide, pleading and tinged with fear.

I swallowed a painful gasp of cold air, my throat burning with the effort and fell back against a pillow, my eyes closing.

* * *

MICHELANGELO

The sounds of Leo choking had me on my feet instantly, but Donny was already at his side, trying to calm him down. I approached cautiously once Leo had fallen back asleep. "He okay?" I asked hesitantly.

Don nodded. "He's breathing normally now." He checked Leo over to make sure none of his injuries had started bleeding again. My stomach gave a violent twist on seeing them again. The bright red stood out in stark contrast to his skin. Donny had taken off Leo's mask and equipment, making him look even more vulnerable. I didn't like it…

"What happened?" My voice was timid.

"Panic attack." Don shrugged, satisfied with his examination and stood up. "He was hyperventilating."

"Panic?" I almost laughed. Leo doesn't panic… "Is he really okay?"

My brother smiled unconvincingly. I was used to that smile. It was the "little brother" one that I got whenever someone wanted to comfort me but they weren't even convinced. "His injuries are hardly life-threatening, Mikey. Don't worry. Mostly, he's just suffering from over-exertion. The lacerations are minor-."

He was speaking in Geek again. Don had a tendency to do it when he was either really excited or nervous, like it gave him some sense of control. Really, it just made me more nervous. "Yo, Donny." He stopped rattling off information and stared at me. "Yes or no, Dude."

His shoulders slumped. "Physically, he will be. Yes."

"But his head is still messed up…" I sighed, glancing over at my oldest brother sleeping, his forehead wrinkled as if in pain.

Donny didn't reply to that one. He was supposed to have answers…

"Why was he so pissed at us?" I demanded. "Did we mess up or something?" My voice got softer. "You think he's mad at us for leaving him?"

"No." Donny snapped suddenly. "Mikey, we did everything we could. Leo made up his mind and there was nothing anyone could do to change it."

"Well next time, I'm at least going to try…" I mumbled defiantly.

Donny gave me a sympathetic look and sat at his lab desk, busying himself with some techno-dork stuff. I sat on the floor near the head of Leo's cot to wait for him to wake up again.

Raph still wasn't back yet. It had only been an hour though. He'd been known to disappear for entire nights before. But he should be here… If Don and I are gonna hafta sit and watch our brother suffer, he should have to do it too. Why did he always have to get off so easy?

I think I dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the dark. My butt was asleep and my neck was stiff. Sitting against the stone wall on the cold hard floor was not the most comfortable position to sleep in I guess. Don was sleeping on another cot at the other end of his lab.

Then I heard what must have woken me up. Leo was mumbling something, his hands twitching, but his eyes were squeezed shut. I was leaning over to make sure he was okay when he suddenly shot up. "No!" He cried, breathing hard.

"Leo?" I came around to kneel by his bed.

A shaking hand covered his face as he tried to slow his breaths. He looked around and nearly jumped again when his eyes landed on me. "Mikey?" He rasped, his voice hoarse. "…What-? Ow!" He gasped and a hand held his side.

"You're a little banged up, bro." I explained. "Maybe you should lay back d- or not, okay." Before I could finish, Leo had turned to lean his back against the wall, one leg bent close to him, the other was bandaged and he kept it straight out in front of him. He rubbed his face, sighing. "So…how do you feel?" I asked, sitting next to him. He gave me a look as if he hadn't wanted me to, but didn't say anything about it.

"I'm fine." He said in the same hoarse whisper.

"And Klunk's a dog. Come on, Leo." I scoffed, trying to meet his eyes.

"I'm just tired." He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.

"What were you dreamin' about?" I asked slowly, pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be asking.

His head spun around to glare at me. "Nothing." He snapped, sounding oddly like Raph.

"O-kay..." I rubbed the back of my neck as an excuse to look away. We had one of those awkward silences. Awkward for me at least, I think Leo was just waiting for me to leave. Tough luck, you can't get rid of Michelangelo that easy. "What happened out there?"

"What?" I think I caught him so off guard that he actually listened.

"Why did you make us leave you? How did you get back?"

"Mikey…" Leo started in a tone that would have been appropriate if I were five and he was trying to tell me my fish had died.

"No, no, no, Bro. Don't go brushing me off. You guys do that all the time."

Leo sighed, staring at his hands for a minute before looking at me again. He seemed so vulnerable and yet there was something hard in his eyes. "I just don't want to talk about it yet, okay, Mike?"

"Fair enough." I shrugged. "But, Dude, you gotta let us help you."

"Okay." He nodded, looking at his hands again. "You should go to bed, Mikey. I'll be fine here."

I let out a long breath. "Alright, Leo… Just tell me if you need something, please?"

He gave me a weak smile. "I will."

Reluctantly, I jumped up to my room. He was probably lying to me, wasn't he...

* * *

RAPHAEL

There were still a few hours before dawn when I came back into the lair. Casey and April were asleep on the couch still. I walked by just to make sure they were okay. Casey was snoring so loudly, I'm surprised April hadn't smothered him with a pillow.

I was about to head up to my room when I glanced over toward Don's lab. I just had to make sure Leo was where I had left him… My heart skipped a beat when I didn't see him at first. Then I realized he was sitting up. Donny had bandaged some of the deeper gashes and one above his eye, the white fabric almost glowing in the dark. The sight gave my stomach an uncomfortable twist.

It dawned on me that he had probably fallen asleep and I ventured closer. Sighing, I decided he probably shouldn't be left that way. As gently as I could, trying to avoid his injuries, I laid him back down with his head on the pillow and pulled the blanket up around him. He didn't even stir. The steady rise and fall of his chest was the only thing that told me he was still alive.

"Raph?" With a jolt, I almost thought it was Leo, but the groggy voice was coming from behind me.

"Hey, Don…" I quickly stepped away from the cot and turned to face my other brother who was propping himself up on one elbow where he laid.

"You just get back?" He yawned.

"Y-yeah."

"He's going to be okay." Donny said after a minute.

"I-I know that." I scoffed, forcing a laugh. It came out pretty weak.

Don smiled. "Night, Raph." He lay back down and I stood there for another minute. Finally I turned and went back up to my room to catch what few hours of sleep I could.


	9. What I've Done

A/N: Okay, so I have major writer's block...not on this fic mind you, on TWO Essays that are due tomorrow in my classes. Now if you could see what time I posted this story, it's 10 pm. Have I started writing said essays? NO. Why? I'm insanely unmotivated. See, fics, I get fun reviews, essays...not so much. This was distracting me too much, so I had to get it out of the way in an effort to clear my head. It's not working as i'm already half done with the next chapter. Yay for you...not my grades. HA, but anyways...I'm going to try now...very hard...meditation would come in handy right now. I'm so screwed...

* * *

DONATELLO

Sensei taught me this neat science trick when I was little. It was the only way he could teach me a lesson that I would understand. He gave me a rock and told me to try and break it. I threw it on the ground, tried to chip at it with every tool I could find, but nothing worked. Disheartened, I returned to him with an unblemished rock.

Master Splinter then told me the secret. First, all I had to do was soak it in water. This made no sense to me, we lived in a sewer lined with rocks and they didn't break. They were used because water couldn't harm it. That was their purpose. After a while, he made me stick the water logged rock in the freezer. The next time I opened it up, the rock was in pieces. My scientific mind understood immediately why; water expands when frozen- the tiny pores in the rock couldn't take the pressure so it exploded.

I don't remember what Sensei said the lesson was, but tonight, I think I finally found an application of it for myself. Leo has always been our rock, our strength. He seems unbreakable, but all the while, he's absorbing things; guilt, responsibility… It's not a weakness we see, that's who Leo is. That's what he does, and he can handle that. But then something came along… something that made it all too much to bear. He was being torn apart from the inside. The only thing missing from my equation was what was causing it.

It was in the dark hours of dawn when I realized that sleep wasn't going to come back to me today. After the second time Leo's panicked yells woke me up, I found myself glancing at him every other minute. Raph was going to get more rest in the four hours he was home then the eight I spent constantly waking up.

I admit I was slightly unnerved, and not just by the bone chilling cries. I just didn't know what to do anymore.

Master Splinter came in about the time I had given up on even closing my eyes and I sat up. "Donatello. It is early for you to be awake."

I nodded tiredly, staring straight ahead. "I can't sleep anymore."

"You need your rest, My Son." He stood next to my cot, his hands resting on the top of his walking stick. We were actually eye level and it forced me to meet his penetrating gaze.

"I've tried, Father." I sighed deeply, glancing over toward Leo.

"What is it that troubles you, Donatello?" Splinter asked, cocking his head to stare into my eyes again. "Is it that your brother has been injured or that you have no remedy for what truly ails him?"

I opened my mouth, to say what- I don't know, but a sharp gasp from across the room spared me that decision. Before I could jump to my feet and check on Leo, Sensei put a firm hand on my shoulder, keeping me where I was. Labored breathing echoed around the stone walls. I could see Leo's outline in the darkness, his hands covering his face as he lay across the room. After a minute, the breathing became more steady and rhythmic. Leo's hand's dropped and he gave into exhaustion again.

"What's going on, Sensei?" I whispered pleadingly, sure if I tried to use my full voice, it would have cracked.

"I will meditate on the subject." He said shortly, taking his hand from my shoulder and disappearing into the dark.

I lay back down due to my own soreness while I waited for him to return. Somehow, I managed another hour or so of sleep. I should have known Sensei wouldn't be back for a while.

I was jolted awake by the now familiar cry of my oldest brother. It was slightly lighter from a light on somewhere, so when I looked over, I could see Leo staring back at me. "Sorry, Don..." He rasped.

"Not your fault." I mumbled back. I don't know why I chose those words, but they made Leo give a small smile before he turned away and went back to sleep.

Splinter returned not long after. I looked to him hopefully, but his face was grim. "Still couldn't reach him?" I asked dejectedly.

"There is a something dark that lingers here."

"What can I do?" I sat up straighter.

To my surprise, Sensei had a shadow of a smile on his face. "Donatello, my son, you have done an excellent job as a physician, but now all you need to be is a brother."

* * *

RAPHAEL

I expected to be exhausted when I was woken up…instead, I cracked one eye open to see it was 9 in the morning. I can't remember the last time anyone of us was allowed to sleep past 7, barring the days at Casey's farm when all we did was sleep. I contemplated closing my eyes again and seeing how far this good fortune went, but decided I shouldn't push my luck.

If I was left alone this late, something must be going on. I rolled out of my hammock and unsteadily gained my feet as I headed downstairs.

"The monster lives!" Mikey called from his spot at the table, feasting on a massive bowl of cereal.

I gave him the usual wry smile. "Where is everyone?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant as I grabbed my own bowl and milk.

Mikey's expression fell as tilted his head in the direction over my shoulder. I turned to see Don and Splinter talking quietly in his lab. Leo appeared to still be asleep. I can't say the light helped him look any better; the discoloration of his body was cast into sharp relief. I quickly looked away.

"What's goin' on?" I sat down with my back to it all so I wasn't tempted to keep looking.

"Leo's been waking up every few hours." Mikey mumbled, chasing a lone Fruit Loop around with his spoon.

"So?" Shrugging, I dug into my cereal.

"Every time he does, he's either screaming or yelling something. He won't talk about it. Master Splinter tried to do that mind thingy when Leo fell back asleep and couldn't get anything." I hated when Mikey got depressed like this. It took a lot to get him down, and when it did, it was always serious.

"Everyone has nightmares." This was my best attempt at comforting this early in the morning.

"You don't wake up screaming…"

"Yes you do, Mikey."

He didn't even react to my attempt at a joke. "Not every time. At most you get maybe one nightmare a night."

"If Fearless doesn't want to be helped, what are we supposed to do?" So much for comforting…but it was easier to blame Leo. "It's his problem."

"We're brothers; that makes it our problem." Mikey snapped. I've _never_ heard him snap before. "Get over yourself." He muttered as he walked past to put his bowl in the sink. I heard it clatter as he tossed it in and I pretended to be intent on eating when he left.

I was about to call him back with something like 'Tell Leo that!' But I didn't have the heart. I knew he was right. If I wasn't so set in my reputation, maybe that wouldn't be so hard to admit.

"Raphael." I almost cringed as if he had heard my thoughts.

"Yeah, Sensei?" I turned in the chair to face him. I hadn't even heard him approaching.

"You are upset." He wasn't asking me.

It caught me off guard. I had expected him to ask why Mikey had stormed off or something. "No…I'm fine." I said slowly.

He tilted his head slightly. "You do not need to suppress your feelings."

"I'm not 'suppressing' anything." I said, gritting my teeth in frustration.

"It is alright, Raphael."

"No, it's not." I snapped before I realized what I was saying. Splinter was just giving me that knowing look, waiting for me to explain. I sighed and looked away. "I just want everything how it used to be."

"Your brother has suffered for many weeks, my Son. But he is not the only one." I looked up and met his eyes. "Have you talked to Leonardo about this?"

"Leo doesn't talk, Sensei. I have nothing to say anyways." I huffed, turning back around.

"You're very demeanor contradicts your words." Why did he always have to be so calm about everything?

"Well, I would like to call him a self-righteous, pain-in-the-."

"Raphael." He scolded.

"It's true, Master Splinter. All he does is sulk and make our lives miserable. We're never good enough by his standards." My voice was rising along with my blood pressure.

"It is not any of you that he finds lacking, it is himself. You and Leonardo were always the most alike of your brothers." He added with what might have been a smile. Before I could get my mouth to catch up with my brain, Splinter had walked away.

I almost jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Ready to shake off another brother, I turned angrily to face Casey. I'd forgotten he was here. "Oh, hey, Case."

"What's up, Raph?" He asked, concern showing on his bruised face.

"Nothing. How are you and April?" I got up and put the cereal away, avoiding looking at him. In the corner of my eye I could see April was over talking to Donny.

"Ah, we're good." He shrugged. "I'm pretty sore though."

"Well you can't feel worse than you look, Case."

"Thanks." He raised an eyebrow and followed me as I went to sit on the couch. "So…I heard about Leo."

"What about him?" I drawled, flipping through channels on the TV.

"Just that he came in. He's pretty beat up?"

"Yeah, so are the two of you staying here, or what?" I was getting really sick of talking about Leo. If Casey tried to tell me that I should try and help that moron of a brother, I would have killed him.

"Well we can't risk going back and we have no working cars, so yeah, I guess so."

I just nodded and he got the hint, sitting quietly as we watched some random TV show.

* * *

LEONARDO

It was around noon by the time my body was able to stay awake. I can't say the sleep was all that helpful. I can understand having the same dream every few days or so…but multiple times in the same night?! This was crazy…

My body ached and protested every movement I tried, but laying here risked that I would drift off again…and I didn't want that. So ignoring the pain, I sat up, putting my legs over the side to prepare to stand. I should have known Donny would be watching…

Before I could even attempt to get my feet under me, he'd rushed over. "You're awake." He beamed.

"Yeah…" I mumbled.

"How are you feeling?" He came closer, studying me, probably about to take my blood pressure or something.

"'M fine…" So maybe you know what I mean when I say I hate being babied? It's the most embarrassing thing to me. Besides, I was his older brother; I was supposed to look after him… that's what I was supposed to do…

"Leo, maybe you shouldn't be walking around just yet-." Don tried to protest, and I ignored him completely.

I can't say my attempt at standing was that impressive. My right knee didn't seem to want to support me and it buckled. I managed to catch myself, but so did Don. On reflex, I shot him a pretty hateful look which I immediately regretted. He backed off slowly, his facial expression breaking my heart. "I'm just…I'm gonna go up to my room…" I muttered, limping as quickly as I could and dragging myself up the stairs.

No one bothered to try and talk to me that day. Gosh, I didn't want it to be like this… I felt so stupid sitting up there by myself. But then thinking about how awkward it would be if I tried to go down and be social…everyone would ask me questions I didn't want to answer. Then again, I guess I didn't really want to talk at all.

I was stir-crazy by the next morning. With my mask ruined, I had to find my spare. It took more time than I thought. Mikey had probably gone through my stuff looking for something and left everything trashed…

I realized the rest of my stuff was probably downstairs. My knee was still stiff and wasn't cooperating, so getting back down the stairs was no picnic. Thankfully, it was quiet and no one else was up yet.

I quickly found my swords and pulled them from their sheaths. Don must have cleaned them. I couldn't see any trace of the battle from the previous night. That was fine with me…anything to not remind me of it. The weight of the blades was like having a lost limb back. I spun one expertly around in my hand and smiled. It felt good.

I turned, slicing through the air, when suddenly my blade was stopped in midair and I came face to face with Raphael.

"What are you doing?" He growled, still pressing my sword between his palms.

I quickly hid my look of surprise with a glare. I tried to pull my sword out from his grasp and failed miserably. I'm not sure he could even tell I had tried. "Let go."

"You tryin' to practice, Leo?" He scoffed.

I stared back, feeling heat rising to my face. "Let go." I said more firmly.

He smirked and I would have enjoyed punching him right then. "How about you drop the swords and go back upstairs to sulk, okay?"

It took every ounce of will power I possessed not to hit him. Instead I clenched my teeth, still gripping the handle, feeling Raph trying to turn the blade and break my grip. I was weaker than I wanted to admit… Finally, I was sick of his game. Dropping my second sword, I grabbed the other and twisted, pulling it back quickly and landing a kick square on Raph's chest that sent him flying onto his back.

My knee screamed in agony from the sudden unwanted pressure, but that was pushed into the back of my mind. Blood glinted off the edge of my blade. I looked down to see my brother staring up at me in shock and anger, one hand sporting a deep cut cradled against his stomach. What was I doing….?

"Leonardo? …Raphael?" Master Splinter's voice was the last thing I wanted to hear just then. When he and Raph were looking at each other, I slipped away, leaving my blades behind. It wasn't easy, but I quickly returned to my room without anyone noticing.

I collapsed onto my bed, gripping my head in my hands.


	10. Crawling in the Dark

A/N: So miracle of miracles, I finished both my essays, but missed my first class. Oh well, no biggie. So this is just a small snippet that I was writing during my mindless wanderings last night. Not that its not important...kind of...something...you tell me, i dunno.

* * *

MICHAELANGELO

It's kind of funny how even though we're all worrying about the same thing, we don't talk to each other about it. In fact, we hardly talk to each other at all unless we're arguing, which actually happens a lot now I guess. Things just got so screwed up. We've all been acting a little like Leo lately. He even leads us in emotion now…

It's been three days and already I can't stand it. I don't know what happened between Raph and Leo, but the bandage around Raph's hand gives me a good idea. I still find it hard to believe that Leo could do that... He still won't talk to us, spending the day quiet and subdued in his room. I haven't heard about him waking up from nightmares anymore. But then again, we don't even see him sleep. Don thinks he's stopped sleeping altogether.

It was definitely past time for some brotherly intervention.

It was late on the third night since the attack at April's when I set aside the comic I had been staring at, but not really reading. I snuck out of my room and was met with darkness and silence. Good, that meant everyone was asleep.

I crept up to Leo's door and listened. It was just as quiet. Wincing as the door creaked, I pushed it open just enough for me to slip inside. Don was sleeping downstairs in his lab now, so I didn't have to worry about waking him.

Apparently, I didn't have to wake Leo either. Not three seconds after I had entered, he gave a muffled yell and sat up briefly before slumping back against his pillow. I froze in my tracks, but he didn't seem to notice I was there.

Leo was swearing quietly to himself. "Why can't it just leave me alone? Why does this keep happening?!" He was muttering, punching his mattress once. Leo must have felt me standing there because he sat up again and stared at me, letting his eyes adjust.

"Hey, Bro…" I smiled, even though he probably couldn't see it.

Leo cursed again. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No, uh…couldn't sleep. I was just walking past and-."

"And you wanted to check on me." He sighed, sitting up and pulling himself around to lean against the wall. He had to drag one leg in front of him; it was still giving him trouble.

"Actually, I've wanted to talk to you for a while." I admitted.

"And you waited until everyone was asleep so you could do it alone, because of course you know, I don't want to talk."

"That's pretty much it." I went and sat by him like I had the other night, and again, he didn't verbally protest. His eyes even looked too tired to give me that look he always did. We were both quiet for a minute. "So…?"

"I told you -."

"I know what you told me, Leo." I interrupted quietly, staring at my fidgeting hands. "But since when do I ever listen?" That got a small smile from him; good sign.

Leo let out a long breath. "What do you want, Mike?"

"I want my brother back. We all do."

"I'm right here." He sighed.

"No, you're not. Not really." I sat cross legged and turned to face him full on. "Leo, you don't talk to us anymore, you have a temper shorter than Raph, and you got some complex going on right now that's scaring the crap out of me."

Leo stared at me, mouth slightly open for about a minute until he turned away. "I don't know what to tell you."

"I want the truth, Man. What's goin' on? ...Does this have anything to do with Karai?"

His head snapped around. "What?" Oo, a reaction…

"I'm just wonderin'." I shrugged. "I mean you haven't been the same since that thing with the Shredder…"

Leo's shoulders slumped and he refused to look at me. So I was on to something.

"Dude, everyone got hurt that night."

"That's not-!...That's not it." He was still staring at his hands, but that was the first time he'd actually admitted that something was wrong. I'd never really seen him like this before…ever. At least not with me…this usually wasn't my department.

"Well then, tell me, Leo, because you know I'll guess all night if I have to."

That's when he cracked… I think he'd been wanting to talk all along, he just needed a little coaxing. "I failed you guys…" He whispered hoarsely. "I was supposed to protect my brothers and I couldn't… We were all going to die…"

I couldn't help but gape. That's what he'd been thinking all these weeks? That he'd failed us? I almost laughed, but figured it wasn't the best idea. I didn't find it that funny anyways, just…I had to have the best brother in the world right here.

"Leo. Dude, come on, look at me." He didn't move his head, but his eyes moved up. "You are…out of your mind." I don't think he was expecting that. His eyes narrowed so I quickly went on. "I mean, you seriously thought you failed? Dude, you were the one who got us to Shredder in the first place."

"Where I suggested we kill ourselves, right?" he muttered bitterly.

"I'm not a fan of dying, Leo, but was there anything else you could have done? Seriously, if you hadn't stepped up and given us that plan of how to defeat him, we were all gonna die anyways, but it would have been for nothing. At least with what you said, Shredder would still be dead, even if we were. I could live with that…well not LIVE I guess…" I saw Leo's chest give a small shake and I grinned. "You wanted to laugh at that, admit it."

He turned his head to look at me, raising an eye ridge. "Mikey…" he shook his head, a shadow of a smile on his features but it soon faded.

"So that's all you were worried about? Leo, we don't expect you to be perfect, just our brother. But I still can't think of one time you've ever let me down." Leo was still silent, one knee drawn up to his chest where he rested his arm and chin. I saw him nod slightly. "You can be an overachiever however… That gas pellet Donny gave you at April's was to help you, Man, not us. Even though I really appreciated it at the time…"

That's when I saw something glint in Leo's eyes. He frowned…or scowled, and stared straight ahead into the dark. I looked over but couldn't see anything. I turned back to Leo. "Something wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about April's." He muttered darkly, but there was something else I could hear, like…fear. Leo sounding scared…not common.

"Oh…okay…." I said slowly, confused. "Why…?"

"Did you not hear me Mike? I said I don't want to talk about it."

One small moment of victory and then Mr. Hyde made his appearance. I really didn't know what to do…I just sat there, frozen for a few seconds before I quickly slid off his bed and left. I didn't sleep that night…

* * *

A/N: SOOOO, Leo's a psycho and poor Mikey is as lost as I am in English. ;) not really, you'll see soon enough- either before or after I continue putting off studying for my nurtition midterm...Am I the worst student ever? It's all Leo's fault. My poor adorable hubby... comments? concerns? REVIEW:D 


	11. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

A/N: Alright, so I should have looked over the last chapter before, cuz I wanted to put all this stuff in it that I forgot...so I'll replace that soon, but ...I do like this one...it might seem...you know what? I'm gonna let you guys read it first...hehehee... btw, reviews make me write FASTER :D Thanks so much to everyone who did, makes me feel so warm and fuzzy...here it is!

* * *

RAPHAEL 

Mikey and Leo weren't the only ones awake that night. I had seen my little brother sneak past my door and decided to find out what he was up to. I sat outside and listened to the sounds of their conversation, while not hearing the actual words. It sounded friendly enough until there was a sudden burst from Leo. I watched Mikey back out of the room and hurry into his own. He didn't take well to people yelling at him when it wasn't for a prank. I felt a sense of protectiveness that normally would have been Leo's, but instead I felt like I had to protect us from him.

Mikey was just trying to help…Anger sent my blood to boiling. If Leo wasn't going to get over this himself or listen to his worried little brother, so help me I would beat the problem out of him. I glanced down at my bandaged hand, evidence that Leo was getting to be too much to just ignore now.

So maybe I burst into his room for some payback, not only for myself but for all of us that he'd driven crazy with his antics. Maybe it was because I was really worried about him.

When I slammed his door open, Leo jumped and stared at me fearfully….let me emphasize that. He was scared. It almost made me feel a little better. Good, he should be scared of me, because I would hurt him if I had to. And then the rest of me just worried more…

"Leo, what did you blow Mike off for? He's trying to help you and you yell at him?" My anger was quelled somewhat, but the edge was still in my voice.

My brother pressed his hand to his head, looking down. I almost didn't hear his response. "Leave me alone, Raph…"

"No, Leo! I'm sick of leaving you alone. I tried to let you handle this by yourself, but obviously you aren't capable. What the shell is wrong with you?!"

He buried his face in his hands and I noticed…he was shaking. I was torn between taunting him and being freaked out. "Leo?" I took a cautious step forward. "Are you okay?"

Leo finally lifted his head. His once bright and alert eyes looked cold and dead. I almost took a step back. Slowly he shook his head.

Now what do I do…? The last time I'd talked to Leo like this was the first time we'd escaped to Casey's farm…and he'd been in a coma. Even then I hadn't been able to really do it. I'd have to suck it up…if it meant getting my real brother back, I'd do anything at this point.

I bit my lip and took a few more steps, slowly easing myself to sit on the edge of his bed where he was huddled in the corner. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?" I asked with all the compassion I could muster.

Leo stared straight ahead at nothing before answering. "I don't know." He whispered.

"You're blowing up at everyone for a reason, Leo. What is it?" I let some impatience creep into my voice this time.

He finally turned to me, his expression reminiscent of Mikey after a nightmare; lost and scared, not sure what reality was. His mouth opened and shut for a few seconds before he could find words. "I don't know." He repeated, this time in a louder voice, his tone reflecting the look in his eyes.

My expression fell and I sat back on the bed more, closer to Leo who moved back ever so slightly. "Is something bugging you? Is it about the thing with Shredder, or what? I need something to go off of here, Leo…I want to help you." This is what he'd driven me to…I was officially Dr. Phil. I think my ego just flopped over and died. Then again…Leo wasn't exactly comfortable in this department either. Something had to really be eating at him for him to open up.

His head snapped around my offer, his eyes meeting mine. It's kind of pathetic that this was the response I got when I suggested I wanted to do something nice…Guess I deserved it. "I don't know if you can, Raph." He muttered.

If I was going to play psychotherapist, I was going to get some freaking answers. "That won't keep me from trying. I'm not gonna let you go on like this. So let's start at the beginning here. Did we piss you off?"

Leo shook his head. "I'm not mad at you guys…"

I scoffed. "I couldn't tell." So maybe I could use a little work on my empathizing skills, but I would have to take this emotional stuff one step at a time.

His face fell as he looked away again.

"I'm sorry, Leo, I didn't mean that." I quickly apologized, not wanting him to close up on me. I mentally slapped myself. My brother's life was pretty much in my hands and I had the chance to help _him_ for once. It might make a small dent in the pile of things I owed him for...

"You have every right to." He sighed, looking around as though he would find an answer written on the wall. "It's not like I'm trying to hurt any of you. That's exactly opposite of what I want."

"Then why do you?" I asked, glancing down at my hands and back up at him.

Leo met my eyes again, but didn't hold my gaze for long. "I'm sorry…" he whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything."

"For what exactly?" I pushed him to elaborate.

"For fighting with you…For yelling at Mikey and treating Don like crap. It's like-…It's like it's not me that's doing it."

"You got that right." I smirked. "It's not you. Not the Leo I know…" Something sparked in my mind and I frowned, studying him. "What happened that night at April's?"

Leo was instantly shaking his head, running a hand over his face. "No, Raph. Don't…"

"Something happened after we left, didn't it?" I sat forward, my voice more sure.

Leo was acting extremely uncomfortable now, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing around. When I moved closer, he slipped off of his bed and walked a few feet away, heavily favoring his bad leg.

"Talk to me, Leo." I drawled, watching his back.

"The dreams…" He started, sounding like he was admitting to some terrible crime he'd hidden up for years that had been tormenting him.

"The ones that wake you up? What about them?" I asked expectantly, coaxing him onward.

Leo turned slightly, glancing over at me. "I've been having them…for a while. Since just after the thing with Saki…"

"Why didn't we ever hear you before? Don said you would…yell or something."

"They weren't as bad before." Leo started to pace slowly, his fingers intertwined behind his neck. "Then after…that night…they got worse."

I watched him with narrow, studying eyes. "Leo, what are the dreams about?"

His now labored breathing reached my ears. "You're all dying…even Master Splinter. Just…falling one by one…and then…there's a-a foot…he says he's after us, we can't escape-." He suddenly faltered in his steps and stopped.

"Leo, what happened that night at April's?" I asked more urgently.

"I-I ca-." His hand shot to his head and he grunted in pain. I started to get up, but before I could, he collapsed into a lifeless heap on the floor.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was actually a lot longer...I just felt cruel. Admit it, you still love me. Remember...reviews get it up FASTER. :D btw, I suggest looking up the lyrics to the title for this chapter, its by Relient K. Great song, and its part of my inspiration for Leo. 


	12. Learning to Fall

A/N: OK so it's been a while. Slight writer's block...no I take that back, i was just lazy. Aaaand I found my Psych DVDs and became re-obsessed with one of the five(?)...more like seven ...loves of my life. So I'm a player, sue me. I'm a sucker for my boys. But anyways...can't say this is much of a relief to the last chapter...you'll see...read on...

* * *

DONATELLO

I was jarred from sleep by someone screaming my name. I half thought it was part of my dream until I heard banging on my door. Sitting up, I rubbed my unmasked eyes and stumbled over as quickly my dead legs could carry me.

As soon as it was pulled open, my eyes went big and I was wide awake. Raph was standing there, holding a limp body in his arms. "What happened?!" I immediately felt for a pulse and found a dangerously weak one.

"Leo and I were just talkin' and he collapsed." Raph explained frantically.

For a split second I wondered whether 'just talking' meant fighting. It wouldn't be too far-fetched based on the way things had been going lately. But this wasn't the time to complain. "Bring him over here." I hurried to my lab where Raph laid Leo out on the cot he'd so recently occupied- Almost a nightmarish déjà vu.

I searched for some reason that Leo might have passed out, but was coming up empty. He didn't have any infections, wasn't bleeding... But when I flashed a light into his eyes, one responded normally, while the other was fixed.

"What's going on?" A sleepy voice questioned.

I turned briefly. "April! Good, I need your help."

On seeing Leo, she knelt by my side quickly and put a concerned hand to his forehead. "What happened?"

"Ask Raphael, I'm not sure I have the whole story." I said with an edge to my voice.

"Why would I-?!" He started to retort angrily but managed to control his temper. "I told you, we were talking."

"Since when was the last time Leo ever talked to anybody, Raph?" I drawled doubtfully.

"He had just been talking to Mikey a minute before."

"What about me?" Another groggy voice joined our conversation.

"So both of you talked to Leo? Did I miss the memo for the family meeting?" I asked accusingly, looking between them.

Mikey held up his hands, claiming innocence and then craned his neck to look around me. "Whoa…Did he pass out again?"

"Obviously." I muttered, checking Leo's pulse again- not great, but not terrible anymore. "April, tell me what you think of this." I showed her his abnormal pupil dilation.

Her forehead wrinkled in concern. "I don't know…but I don't like it, Donny."

"What's wrong with him?" Raph demanded.

"Maybe if I had a CAT scan and a neurologist I could tell you. Unfortunately, that also comes with Bishop and a dissection table." I cursed in frustration.

Mikey of course was still lost. "English, Apes?"

April looked up at my little brother with all the concern of a mother. "That means something could be wrong with his brain."

I don't think Mikey was able of comprehending that this was a scientific problem I couldn't fix. "So what are you gonna do?" He asked.

"I can't do anything." I admitted quietly, not meeting his gaze.

Mikey wasn't the only one apparently…Raph was also giving me a lost look. Of all the times my brothers relied on me for answers and when it mattered most, I had nothing.

"Tell me what you two talked about. I need to know what Leo was like before this happened…maybe I can piece some sort of explanation together." It was a long shot, but I didn't have anything else to go on. "Mike?"

His feet shifted uncomfortably. "It was kinda personal…"

"Well he could die with that secret or you tell us and he might live." It came out harsher than I intended, but got my point across. The word 'die' always did have a profound effect on him.

Mikey took a deep breath and let it out slowly. When he did speak, I had to strain to understand him, he was talking so quickly. "I asked him why he was acting weird and we talked about the Shredder, and he thought it was his fault we almost died and that was it."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Mikey sighed and started over. "Leo felt guilty for what happened on the Shredder's ship. He thought he failed or something. That's all we talked about." Perplexing news…but it would have to wait…

"Then what did he yell at you for?" Raph grunted.

Mike whirled on him. "Dude, were you spying on us?!" Not answering, Raph just stared back at him.

"Answer the question." I urged, feeling suddenly like a judge.

"He-…I brought up the night at April's, and he got all quiet and said he didn't want to talk about it. Then I asked him why …and he yelled. Maybe he is mad that we left him, Don." Mikey finished quietly.

"I don't think so." Raph cut in.

"So what did he tell you?" I asked, still doubtful. True, I can accept that Leo would open up to Mikey, but to Raphael- the guy he got in physical fights with over who used the milk last?

Raph also looked uncomfortable. "It was weird. I went in to tell him off for …yellin' at Mike, but he was all withdrawn, wouldn't even look at me. He said…he said he thought something was wrong with him. Like he didn't mean to act like a jerk lately, but he couldn't help it." He looked anywhere but at our faces.

I didn't know quite what to say to that…That was as personal as I'd ever heard Leo talk before…and it was to _Raph?_ Maybe Leo was right, something was wrong with him. So maybe after losing it to Mikey he felt guilty and couldn't hold it in anymore. Raph was the first one he could voice his concerns to, but was it too late? "Is that it?"

My brother shook his head, glancing at Leo uneasily. "Something happened after we left him at April's. I tried to ask him what, but that's when he grabbed his head and collapsed."

"He grabbed his head?" I sighed and looked to April who was frowning. "A drug maybe?" I suggested.

"That lasts for this long?" She furrowed an eyebrow and felt Leo's forehead again. "Possibly a poison."

"I could take some blood." I got up to grab some supplies, but felt a hand on my shoulder.

"There's something else..." Raph whispered to me. "He's been having dreams."

"I know…"

"No…not just the past few days, for _weeks_. I'm pretty sure he thought they were connected. He said they got worse after April's." Any concern that Raph conveyed was usually covered with rage. But right now I could see it clearly in his eyes, pleading with me for some explanation.

"We should get Master Splinter." I sighed, surprised he wasn't already out here. He could always answer what I couldn't, giving comfort where I failed miserably. "Mikey, go tell Sensei what happened."

He nodded quickly and was gone a second later.

MICHELANGELO

I knew Donny didn't want me hearing anything too depressing, which is why he'd given me the task, but at least I was doing something useful. I was depressed enough already anyways.

Under any other circumstances, I would have never approached Splinter's room in the middle of the night. Even now, in desperate circumstances, I was still hesitant. It was the forbidden city of the lair. Going in there meant you were in trouble…or in trouble.

I'd never knocked before; usually he could tell when we were outside, which was actually really creepy. But he didn't speak up, so I knocked…and he didn't answer. Glancing back toward my brothers, I realized this was kind of urgent… I slid his door open and went inside.

It was pitch black and took a minute for my eyes to adjust. "Sensei?" I called softly. Of course my rat father didn't have a light switch…and I didn't have a match. Suddenly I tripped over something on the floor and crashed into his small table.

Groaning, I sat up and went to find what had attacked me from the floor. I felt a warm body, unmoving. "Sensei?" I gasped, shaking him. Was this some epidemic? Were we all gonna pass out one by one? A horror flick came to mind and I …slightly panicked. "Sensei!"

I felt him stir and my eyes, now fully adjusted could see him squinting up at me. "Michelangelo? Where is Leonardo?"

"He passed out. He's with Donny. That's why I came to get you. What happened? You sleep on the floor?"

Splinter sat up quickly and then stood, pulling me up with him. "We are all in grave danger. We must leave now."

* * *

A/N: Surprised? Well I sure am, that just somehow came out of NOWHERE. So...there it is. It'll work...I hope. I LOVED the reviews, so keep em coming!!! thank you! 


	13. Disarray

A/N: Alright, sorry this took so long, i got totally side-tracked and went on a Psych binge and started writing another fic...but I felt bad, and I'm not gonna post that one until I finish this, cuz I never finish anything, and I'm so determined to finish this. It's too fun not to, and I love you guys too much, and I want more reviews...which let's face it guys...the last chapter was pretty scarce on the comments. I told you more reviews faster updates... Don't worry, i still love you all, and can't blame you. I take few reviews as meaning '...wow...um...no comment?' Not much of a confidence booster... so if it sucked, TELL ME. I'll fix it...if you're nice enough. Which all of you are, so it shouldn't be a problem. So i'll stop rambling, it is midnight...I should get to sleep now, enjoy!!

* * *

RAPHAEL 

Mikey came running back toward us, his expression anxious. "Splinter says we gotta get out of here, now."

"What?" I wrinkled my forehead in confusion, looking behind him to see our master slowly approaching. "Sensei, what's going on?"

"A dark presence is approaching. We must all leave at once." He didn't sound as authoritative as he usually did, which was unnerving. His limp was slower, less steady.

"With all due respect, Master Splinter, you've been talking about 'dark presences' for days now. What exactly is going on?" Donny asked in a rare state of confusion, borderline panic.

"There is no time to explain. You must carry your brother and leave quickly."

"H-how? Where are we supposed to go?" Mikey had a wild, lost look in his eyes, but was at Leo's side in an instant to do what he was told.

"How far along were you with the Battle Shell, Don?" I asked, hoping for some good news.

"Well, I managed to-." It was apparent he had been about to ramble on in Geek speak and had gratefully stopped himself. "I-it's mostly up, but I-I haven't tested the engine out yet."

"No time like the present." I muttered, pulling one of Leo's arms over my shoulder while Mikey got the other. "Casey, get your lazy butt out of bed, we're leaving, now! Don't ask questions."

A black rat's nest of hair popped up from the couch, "Coming!" Miracle of miracles, I only had to tell him once.

The 7 of us loaded up onto the elevator, the tension almost suffocating. When the doors slid back open it was like a breath of fresh air even though we ended up the musty garage. Mikey and I hauled Leo into the back of the Battle Shell while Don made some last minute adjustments on the hoodless engine.

Even though I had no idea what was going on, an anxiety was slowly building through my body, making my muscles taught and putting my senses on high alert. "Hurry it up, Donny!"

"I'm going as fast as I can here!" Another minute of baited breath and he jumped into the driver's seat. "Moment of truth." He mumbled, turning the key. The engine sputtered, gasping for life. I felt like doing the same. My heart was pounding in my ears. Again Donny tried, then again, and again.

I swore loudly. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Hold on!" There was silence and then the familiar and comforting roar of the massive engine rumbling to life. "Yes!"

Speeding through the streets of New York, there wasn't a soul in sight. I was beginning to think we'd all panicked over nothing. Then I caught sight of Leo, lying across a seat, still unconscious, but his face was twisting into pained expressions, his mouth moving slightly, but no sound escaping. He started to twist slightly as if trying to escape some invisible bonds.

I was quickly kneeling next to him, one hand on his chest, the other gripping his own hand. "Is there time now, Sensei?" There was more bite in my tone than I intended, but I needed some answers. Mikey was in the seat closest to Leo and also looked on expectantly while April and Casey sat silently in the front.

Splinter lowered his head briefly and then looked straight into my eyes. That always sent a strange sensation down my spine, like he could read my very thoughts. Now he looked…almost depressed, slightly hopeless. I'd never ever seen him like this before.

"I would like best to explain when we are far from this place and able to discuss this all together. But for now I will tell you this; some evil was drawing closer to our home, and had we stayed, we would have been found and overtaken."

"Some Dudes were trying to find us?" Mikey asked, perplexed. "How would they do that? Is it the foot?"

"I shall explain more later, Michelangelo. For now, I must meditate and try to discover new information on this."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I spoke up, anger building. "What does that have to do with Leo?" My brother had since calmed and wasn't struggling so much, but his face was still contorted into a grimace. "What's wrong with him?" I demanded.

"He is safe for now, Rafael. As for what ails him, I cannot be sure without further reflection." With that, he went into the back of the van, sat down and was silent for the rest of the trip.

My patience was hanging by a thread at this point. Sensei had just forced us to leave our home without so much explanation as a 'dark presence.' What the heck was that supposed to mean? Here I was, trying to comfort Mikey and look after Leo, who according to Don might have brain trauma, and Sensei's words of wisdom were 'I'll tell ya later.'

My little brother gave me the look that only little brothers can. I took one hand off of Leo's chest to put it on Mikey's knee. "It's gonna be okay, Bro."

He returned with a weak smile and scooted over to pull Leo's head onto his lap. "I hope so, Raph…" He whispered.

We ended up at Casey's farm hours later. Mikey had fallen asleep, and I was still sitting protectively in front of Leo on the floor. Casey and April got out first, going to prepare the house. Don came over as I started to stand, shaking Mike's shoulder gently. "Wake up, Bro."

"How's Leo?" Don asked hesitantly.

I shrugged, shaking my head. "Same as ever. Hasn't woken up, but he has been moving around a little, like he was dreaming I guess."

"Sensei say anything?"

"Nothing useful," I scoffed, looking over my shoulder to see that Splinter hadn't moved and his eyes were still closed. "You get him, Mikey and I will carry Leo in." After another minute of prodding, Mike jerked awake and helped me with our unconscious brother.

The situation was far too familiar to me. The only thing missing was the freezing cold and layer of snow, which I was grateful for. But then again, I had the same uneasy feeling of uncertainty. Our leader's, and more importantly our brother's, life was hanging in the balance and we were helpless to do anything.

We laid Leo across the couch where he remained, eerily still. The rise and fall of his chest was the only thing that told me he was alive. Don and April insisted on looking him over again, though I couldn't see why. Maybe it gave them some sense that they could at least try to help.

"His pupils are reacting better." Donny explained with some hope.

"What does that mean?" I drawled, arms crossed as I leaned against the wall above Leo's head.

"I…can't be sure." He admitted, almost visibly deflating. April put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

I caught Mikey looking on helplessly and suddenly clenched my teeth, pushing off the wall and whirling on my master. "Alright, I am so sick of this. What aren't you telling us?"

Splinter sighed deeply. "Sit my sons. I shall explain all that I can."

Reluctantly, I followed suit as my brothers took up spots sitting with their backs against the couch holding Leo. April and Casey stood off near the fireplace, trying not to intrude I guess, though I think they're just as much a part of the family as any of us and probably care just as much.

"Alright, spill. What's going on?" I'm sure on any other day, my brothers would have gasped or slapped me across the head, but tonight, I think they felt just as justified in a little impatience.

Splinter was silent for another few seconds before starting. "I believe your brother's mind has not been entirely his own."

"Hold on." Mikey held up his hands. "Are you saying that Leo's…possessed?"

* * *

A/N: callback to halloween? HA, no i didn't mean it that way. And...let's face it, Mikey was talking. You'll find out next update...if i get REVIEWS, please!! I BEG YOU. that other fic will look pretty enticing otherwise...I am not above begging, bribing or insulting as you can tell. Just know, I always love you. 


	14. Unwell

A/N: For those who reviewed and are still hanging around- I love you! It was only for you that I'm actually finishing this story at all. Not cuz I don't like it, just because I'm easily distracted...and college is HARD. Anyways, here it is, and I think I'll be updating more...as long as I get reviews of course...

* * *

MIKEY

I felt a sharp rap on the back of my head and turned to see Raph giving me a doubtful glare. "Possessed, Mikey?"

My eyes widened as I shrugged. "What? He said-." I looked to Splinter to back me up and stopped.

"Michelangelo is not far from the truth, Raphael." He said gravely and my jaw dropped.

"Told ya so…" I whispered out of the corner of my mouth and felt Raph's continued glare on me.

"My sons," Splinter continued. "It is true that I have been vague of late. I had felt a dark presence, but naturally refused to suspect any of you. Then it became stronger, and I could not fight the truth any longer. Leonardo's behavior only proved my suspicions."

"Of what exactly?" Raph scoffed, obviously not buying his explanation. "You didn't perhaps watch The Exorcist with Mikey last week, did you?"

If Splinter were capable of glaring, I'm sure he would have been at this point. Instead I heard the anger he so rarely expressed creep into his voice. "Raphael, after all you have seen, you still cannot believe? I know you have been confused by your brother's actions. Whether you choose to accept my theory or not, hear me out."

Thoroughly chastened, Raph sat back silently, his head lowered.

Sensei nodded and went on. "I have taught you meditation, not only to strengthen concentration and inner balance, but to protect your minds. It is not unheard of to be attacked on a spiritual level instead of physical. It is harder to accomplish, but much more damaging."

"So someone's been attacking Leo's mind." Don said, his brain piecing it together faster than mine obviously.

Splinter nodded.

"And he didn't know?" I asked, confused.

"The mind is powerful and can often trick us. It is possible while being thus invaded that one has no idea that they are acting any different than they normally would." Sensei explained. "Leonardo however, has a strong mind and was able to fight off the power that tried to take him, perhaps even subconsciously."

"Up until the end." Raph sighed. "That's what he was trying to tell me tonight. He knew." He buried his face in his hands.

"I don't get it." I finally admitted, throwing up my hands.

Splinter gave a fatherly smile. "Perhaps this will help. When Obi Won tells the storm trooper to move on, even though it was originally against the man's wishes, he let them go willingly, correct?"

I nodded excitedly, "Oh yeah! The mind control thingy with the force."

"But it doesn't work on those who are stronger, right?"

"Oooh…so…Leo was like Han Solo. Cuz that stuff wouldn't work on him." I grinned proudly and Splinter returned the look.

Don and Raph were staring, open mouthed. "Ok…putting aside how disturbing it is that you two are even having this conversation, how was Leo's mind able to be penetrated in the first place if he's so strong?" Raph said.

"After the fight with Shredder, your brother's spirit was broken. We all let our guard down, but Leonardo felt responsible and would not let his spirit heal. It left him vulnerable to attack. Still he managed to hold off his assailant, until that night-."

"-At Aprils." Don finished, nodding. "So something must have happened where it got a stronger hold on him…"

"Correct. He may have known what was happening at this point, but weakened by weeks of fighting this force, he was unable to resist any longer."

"And that's when psycho Leo appeared." I ventured.

Splinter nodded.

"Hold on, if you knew this was going on, why didn't you say anything?" Raph asked angrily.

Sensei lowered his eyes briefly. "I did not know, only suspected, and I did not want to believe it. If I voiced my concerns to you, I did not think you would have taken it well or have wanted to be near Leonardo. So I did what little I could, encouraging you to reach out to your brother and perhaps offer a strength that would help him fight."

"You didn't tell us, though!"

"You did not listen, but I should not have to tell you to be a brother, Raphael."

"Harsh…" I muttered.

"So what's going on now?" Don asked, sighing, casting a glance back at our ever unconscious brother.

"From what Raphael has said, Leonardo realized that there was a force working to invade his mind. His outbursts against you make me suspect that this force was trying to destroy not only Leonardo, but this entire family."

"Oh crap…" Raph groaned. He stood up and started pacing.

"What?" I asked clueless, looking up at him.

"Fearless would do anything to stop someone from hurting us…even if it was himself."

"So he's attacking his own _mind_?" I asked, forehead creased and eyes narrowed.

Master Splinter sighed. "It may be, Michelangelo."

Holy crap, this was weirder than Star Wars now. "So what does that mean for him? I mean…Is he gonna…" I shrugged, unable to finish.

"Not necessarily." Don jumped in. "He'd be fighting whatever was attacking his mind, right? So if he beats that, then he'd be okay…right?"

"If he wants to beat it." Raph scoffed.

"Dude, can you put aside your insane jealously for one minute?" I barked, shocked that I'd even said it.

"I have the same fear." Sensei said quietly.

"What?" Now completely in shock, I stared at him. "How could you say that?"

"I am not saying that he wishes to let this force take over and complete its plan. I am merely concerned that Leonardo does not have the strength to destroy it completely. He could merely ensure that his mind was not used to harm his family."

"That means…it's like suicide, isn't it?" I whispered.

"This is so like him." Raph growled. "Sacrificing himself for our benefit. Does he realize what an oxymoron that is?!"

"Have you ever told him?" Sensei asked calmly. At Raph's guilty silence, he went on. "There is still time for you to help him through this. We can still give him strength to prevail."

I looked back to see Leo's hand twitch and held it tightly in mine. "I hate Déjà vu." I mumbled. "This means I'm gonna actually have to meditate, doesn't it?"

Sensei smiled. "Yes, it does."

I sighed. "Hang in there, Buddy. Miracles happen."


	15. Save Me From Me

A/N: Big thanks to my beta, Moogs, for this one. Wouldn't have felt good about posting this if it wasn't for her...probably wouldn't have posted anything considering she helped me think out what on earth i was doing. ANYWAYS, thanks to the reviewers, you're awesome, as always. This was tough to write...think of the episode bad day...kinda goes off of that concept. Now enjoy...or not...

* * *

LEONARDO

I don't remember ever being more tired, and trust me I know what exhaustion feels like. I was beyond that. It wasn't physical weakness, however. It was more like…I couldn't even muster the mental capacity to act.

Time was meaningless here. I couldn't tell you when I had started fighting, or for how long. All I know is- I gave up on winning long ago. No matter what I did, this…this being, this man would not leave me alone. I'm resigned to holding on as long as I can, delaying the time until he goes after my family like he keeps threatening me he will.

I always said I would die before I let that happen. Now it's looking like that could be a reality. Maybe I'll be able to take him with me when I do and protect my brothers. Maybe…if I could only just gather the strength.

RAPHAEL

At first I thought it hadn't worked. I mean, how was I supposed to know if it had? This wasn't exactly a common experience for me.

Mikey had already been there when I showed up, Donny only a second later. We seemed to be in the middle of the lair, and it was empty. Mikey's cracks about The Matrix weren't far off. This was some alternate reality apparently. Sensei had called it something like an astral plane, whatever the heck that was. Sounded like something from Miss Cleo to me.

"So…what now?" Mikey asked, looking around. "I was too preoccupied with the meditating part to hear the rest. What else did Splinter say?"

I rolled my eyes as Donny tried to explain. "Well, I guess we're supposed to find Leo and … "give him support" or something."

"That cleared it up." I nodded sarcastically.

"He wasn't exactly an instruction manual for this. Sorry I haven't performed an exorcism before." He shot back.

"Guys, come on. Let's find Leo." Mikey said, interrupting our impending argument. "Why didn't Sensei come with us anyways?"

"Something about this being our responsibility or something. Didn't make sense to me either." Donny shrugged as we continued looking around the room.

"Whoa, hold on." I held up a hand and the others stopped.

"What?" Mikey whispered.

"I think I heard something." I listened again and my eyes snapped around to the front entrance of the lair. Muffled sounds of metal clanging reached my ears. "Out there! Donny, open the door."

A second later, the massive stone slid outward and we rushed into the familiar sewers. Another metallic shriek to the left caused us all to turn.

"Holy crap…" I muttered involuntarily.

There, huddled against the wall only yards away, was our battered brother. His shaking hands gripped the hilt of his katana, trying to fend off a thick sword wielded by…something. The relief of seeing Leo was overshadowed by my utter confusion. I couldn't tell you what this thing was. It was black as pitch with the vague outline of a human. Whatever it was, his weapon was coming closer to my brother's neck as he pushed the defending katana slowly backwards.

Whatever I had been expecting…it wasn't this.

LEONARDO

"Leo!" I heard my name being called, muffled and distant, but I didn't turn. That would be too good to be true. I'd been half-wishing that someone would come to help, though it was probably impossible. At the same time, I dreaded exposing anyone to the dangers of dealing with this guy.

The glinting blade of my enemy pushed closer to my neck while I weakly tried to push back with my own sword. My grip was slipping, my muscles shaking with fatigue. The next thing I knew, the pressure was gone. My swords clattered to the floor… A green and orange blur flew past, colliding with my attacker. Green and o-

No…

I sat in shock, unmoving as two more blurs rushed to aid the first. They couldn't be here…the whole point of this was so they wouldn't be in danger! I would have stood to help…but still couldn't move. My swords were lying useless on the ground…and I couldn't do anything to fight back.

RAPHAEL

I had to hand it to the thing, whatever he was. He could fight. Mikey, Donny and I were putting everything we had into beating it, but were getting nowhere fast. We were actually getting pushed back toward the lair. Every attack was blocked by his heavy sword. Even if I had managed to get a hit in, I don't know what damage it would do.

Mikey took a hard kick to the chest and slammed into the sewer wall, cracking the stones under his shell. Well it was clear he could hurt _us_…

"You alright, Mike?!" I called, ducking a swing aimed for my head.

"Question!" He said, joining the fight again with a leaping kick and recovering quickly when he missed. "If this really is like the matrix, does that mean what happens to us here, happens to us out there?"

"I REALLY don't want to think about that right now." Donny grunted, blocking a hit with his staff and receiving a pretty good sized notch in the wood.

We were passing Leo, still sprawled against the wall, when the creature suddenly tossed us all aside like rag dolls. It was a burst of energy unrivaled even by Hun…I landed hard, the wind knocked from my lungs. After my vision stopped spinning, I looked up from my spot on the ground to see the creature advancing on my brother.

Leo's muscles twitched, his eyes darting to his swords… but that was it. He didn't move except to cast a glance in our direction…and I didn't like the story his eyes were telling.

LEONARDO

Paralyzed- That's what I was- completely and totally paralyzed with exhaustion…with fear. This man was throwing my brothers around like nothing and I couldn't do a thing. I was just so tired…why couldn't my brothers beat him? It was getting hard even to think. My thought process was screwed up, wasn't making any sense…

He was after _me_…

Maybe if I was gone-maybe if I was gone, he'd leave them alone. Maybe he'd leave…leave them alone...

They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me…they'd be safe…they wouldn't have to be here…

I didn't even feel the blow that landed in my side, leaving me sprawled in front of the entrance to the lair. Wait…no…I wasn't supposed to go in there…he wasn't supposed to go there…but why?

Why couldn't I think?!

A groan escaped my lips as I was hefted into the air. I felt a brief sensation of flying through open space before landing face down on the cold stones of the lair's floor…then nothing.

RAPHAEL

If this thing was strong it was just as quick. I hadn't even gained my feet before the first kick landed… I'd barely started moving before he threw my brother to the floor with a sickening crack…

My brothers were right by my side as we charged the monster hovering over Leo. A battle cry echoed through the sewer tunnels as our first blows shot out. But even in our flurry of attacks, we couldn't land a thing! Every swing, every stab, was blocked with minimal effort. This wasn't how it was supposed to work!

A crushing blow to my stomach sent me reeling backwards. I grabbed the first thing I could reach-the lever that closed the entrance to the lair. The heavy stone started sliding back into place, Donny, Mikey and _it_ in its path. I saw the opportunity and rushed forward, leaping into the air and landing a kick dead center of the black mass. It stumbled through the quickly thinning crack between door and wall just before it slammed shut.

Immediately there was a shuddering crash against the door.

"Something tells me this isn't going to hold." Mikey gasped, leaning against it with one hand in an almost casual posture.

"It doesn't need to." I said, quickly moving to Leo's still form. "We've been going about this all wrong."

"How's that?" Donny asked, wincing as another crash shook the wall.

"Well we haven't protected Leo for one." Mikey said in an unusually biting tone.

"We aren't supposed to beat that thing ourselves." I explained distractedly, kneeling down and gently putting a hand on my brother's head.

"Oh, good, cuz that's seeming pretty impossible actually." Mikey said, eying me closely. "Is he…?" I didn't have time to respond before another hit from the black monster resulted in a crack splintering the large stone Mike was leaning against. He jumped back, weapons swinging again.

"Leo has to beat this thing himself. Our job is to make sure he can, remember?"

Donny cast an anxious expression my way, obviously doubting whether Leo would be waking up at all anymore…but he had to.

"Tell Leo nap time's over then, Raph, cuz we're not leaving without him." My youngest brother had a familiar soft grin on his face. I think I'd have given up ten times over without this kid's optimism… Which made it all the harder to try and dispel his hopes.

The stone was breaking now. Donny and Mike were doing their best to hold it together. I could see the shape of the beast between gaps in the crumbling door. We were running out of time…had run out of time…

Heart pounding, I leaned down close to Leo's head, hand on his cheek. "Bro, you gotta wake up. This isn't over. You aren't over. We need you here now…we can't win without you, Leo, you gotta realize that, please…please, I need you." My voice caught in my throat more than once. This couldn't be happening… Maybe all of this wasn't in the real world, but the way Leo's skin had gone cold…the way his chest had stopped its rapid rise and fall…that was all too real.

* * *

A/N: I was gonna make this longer, but it's been a while, so I wanted to get something up. Hey free-loaders, review please? I know you're out there...you took the time to read...now...take one minute and write me a note. It's only fair...please!! 


	16. Be My Escape

A/N: I love reviewers!! Yay to the free loader who confessed, props to you, lol. Best review I got, haha. Keep them coming PLEASE. I beg you...No, I actually kinda demand it...but people repond better to niceness. Well here you go! Thanks to my twin beta, she's awesome!!

* * *

MICHELANGELO

My eyes were fixed on Raph. His expression was enough to tell me that something was very wrong. Leo still wasn't moving. A cold iron fist was suddenly constricting my chest. I knew he was gone…

"Mikey!" Donny was screaming.

I had barely started to turn when a crushing force slammed me against the wall and held me there, suspended a few feet off the ground. That thing from the black lagoon was leering up at me, pressing me into the wall with one…appendage. He was crushing my chest, forcing me to gasp for air.

I tried kicking and breaking his grip, but nothing worked. Donny came charging with his staff, but the creature grabbed one end and sent him flying across the lair. Raph was knocked aside just as easily.

I was flailing wildly now. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I had planned out the end of our lives already. At the ripe old age of 87, Leo and Raph would keel over after a fight about misplacing dentures, when it was really me who had stuck them in a Jell-O mold. Soon after, I'd die from a heart attack after too much pizza, and Don would live forever after cryo-something freezing himself.

The creature swung at me and my arms were useless to stop the blow from slamming into my head. Whoever said you see stars when being slapped upside the face must have been one happy…quirky guy, cuz all I saw were mushroom clouds.

I was lifted and slammed into the wall again. Blackness was starting to encroach on my vision now. Chances were, I wasn't the chosen one, so I didn't want to risk pulling a Neo and dying in here. If I could concentrate like we did to get here, maybe I could leave…

But then again, concentrating was pretty difficult when being pummeled by a faceless beast, and I promised myself I wouldn't leave without my brother. I could feel myself getting weaker, my breath coming in wheezing gasps. We weren't going to end like this…we couldn't. "Leo!" It was out of my mouth before I realized I'd yelled it… It was just second nature to call on him. Only this time, he wouldn't come running to the rescue.

The monster pulled back a thick arm, ready to launch it straight into my face. I shut my eyes tightly…but the blow never landed. Instead, I was dropped to the floor. At the same time I heard an enraged cry. I cracked open an eye, almost afraid to look, like that would make it all disappear.

But there he was…I should have known. This was Leo after all- couldn't resist his hero complex. My oldest brother rolled back onto his shell while gripping the front of the thing, and planted his feet into the center of it, catapulting the black beast through what used to be the door.

Leo scrambled to his feet, breathing hard, looking a little worse for wear, but alive. "Mikey, get Raph and Don. I'm gonna need your help."

My face must have split into the biggest grin since the time we got to lock Raph in the closet. "You got it, Bro."

LEONARDO

What they say about the light at the end of the tunnel…I wouldn't call it such a peaceful experience. One minute I was fighting my worst nightmare…quite literally…and the next I was blindly wandering in a sea of pain where that friggin' light just aggravated a serious headache.

There were voices…mixed and confused. I just wanted to collapse and get it over with, but something was pushing me back. I don't think they wanted me there. Then one voice stood out above the others…Mikey? He was in trouble…no one was helping him. I couldn't leave him like that, not my little brother.

"Leo!"

I took a shuddering gasp and my eyes shot open. I was lying face down on the floor, but didn't take the time to register anything else. All I saw was that man getting ready to slam a fist into Mikey's face. Tunnel vision took over as I leapt to my feet and rushed him. I tackled the man to the floor and in the same movement, rolled and kicked him over my head to land outside the lair.

My head seemed clearer now, and I knew exactly what I needed to do. There were no more of the senseless thoughts that had cluttered my mind before. No way was I going to leave my brothers again. "Mike, get Raph and Don. I'm gonna need your help."

Mikey grinned, a familiar light in his eyes that made me flash a smile back. "You got it, Bro." I pulled him to his feet and he took off into the lair.

I headed out through the wreckage that must have been the old door. Cautiously, I moved to pick up my swords a few feet away, keeping an eye out for my enemy. He was nowhere in sight, but I could feel him close.

The eerie silence of the tunnel was broken by my brothers skidding to a halt beside me. "Leo." Raph gasped.

"Who'd you expect?" I smirked. "We have to put this off until later, ok?"

Raph nodded. "What's the plan?"

"Well so far, the only thing we haven't tried is taking this guy on all together, so I'm thinking that's our best shot."

"That's what you came up with?" He asked, wrinkling his forehead.

"That's a record for getting over a reunion." Mikey quipped.

"I'm open to suggestions, but I'm sure this is going to work." I said seriously. "You guys can distract him, and I can hit him."

"Alright, we're going to have to try it, because we are officially out of time." Donny said, his gaze fixed over my shoulder.

I turned to see the man advancing toward us, his heavy sword back in his hand. "Time to end this." I said quietly. Mikey took up a position directly in front of me, Raph and Don on either side, weapons at the ready.

The man stopped, his eyes narrowing. For a split second his glare wavered. I'm sure no one else would have noticed, but we'd gotten to know each other very well recently. I grinned and he charged.

My brothers immediately leapt into action. The sounds of steel and wood clashing together, accompanied by furious grunts, echoed around the walls. I jumped into the fray, but every time I tried to land a hit, he'd jump backwards, avoiding my blade.

Donny was thrown aside suddenly and I was hard pressed to block the blows aimed at me. As soon as Don joined the fight again, we were back on the offensive. The battle waged on for what seemed like hours. I could tell we were getting tired, and that meant we were getting sloppy. A split second of distraction had Mikey and Don with their feet swept out from under them. They landed in a heap a few yards away.

I turned to make sure they were alright- another mistake. I heard metal scraping together and spun back around to find Raph's sais fending off the thick sword that had been aiming to take my head off. My brother was shaking with the effort. I swung my own blades, dislodging the sword and sending it clattering to the ground.

Raph flipped backwards, avoiding an enraged punch, but I wasn't so lucky. The blow hit my shoulder, sending me to the floor in a daze. I expected more blows to follow, but my brothers had engaged the man in another fight, distracting him from coming after me.

I quickly gained my feet and rushed toward them. Mikey saw me coming and we shared a look that only brothers who had fought together for 17 years could understand. He laced his fingers together and launched me into the air as I stepped into his hands. I felt a satisfying thud as my spinning kick landed square on my enemy's head. He staggered and fell onto his back with an earth shaking crash.

I landed but didn't stop moving. He was rising to his feet again with a furious scream, ready to run at us again. I dove, my hand closing on the hilt of his thick sword as I somersaulted and leaped into the air. The blade sliced deep into his chest. For a second it seemed like time had frozen, then a blinding hot flash of light engulfed the tunnel.

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A/N: It aint over yet!! Jedi mind trick: _Now press the review button..._


	17. Fall Back Into My Life

A/N: I love reviewers...you're my life savers in a sea of 10 page essays...keep me afloat here guys, and keep the reviews comin. That mind trick did wonders... Well enjoy the corn fest, it rots pretty quick. And thanks to Moogs, my amazing beta who happens to love cheese balls. Who knew us sadists had hearts...

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LEONARDO

When I opened my eyes again, I was lying on my back in shallow water. My brothers quickly filled my vision as they stood over me. They pulled me up, keeping an arm around my shoulders as I unsteadily regained my balance.

I couldn't help it as I looked around quickly. The tunnel was empty…he was gone…it was really over. I almost couldn't believe it. It was actually over… I felt like I was breathing fresh air for the first time in weeks, like Hun's weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My smile immediately broke into laughter that I couldn't stop.

"I thought this was supposed to make him NOT crazy anymore." I heard Mikey saying.

I caught my breath, but couldn't wipe the smile from my face. "If you were me, you'd be happy too, Mike." I said, wrapping an arm around his neck and giving him a good old-fashioned noogie.

"Hey!" He protested, struggling to push my arm off, but I caught him grinning.

I let go and took a deep breath, heading into the lair. It was safe, untouched. It had been close, but he hadn't managed to get completely inside our home.

"So it's over?" Mike asked.

"Not quite," I sighed, "but almost."

"So…" Donny said cautiously, standing at my side as I looked over the lair, "can we get an explanation maybe?"

"Hm?" I asked, looking at him.

"What the heck just happened…?" He shrugged nonchalantly though I could tell he was anxious to hear the answer.

I tensed suddenly and rolled my shoulder. "Can we discuss this out there maybe?" I asked, biting my tongue.

"Are you gonna come back?" Mikey asked cautiously.

I smiled as I turned to face him. "Mikey, I've been trapped in here so long- I want to get out of here as much as I want you guys to leave. Now, come on." I slapped his shoulder harmlessly.

Donny was sending me a curious stare, but didn't say anything about it. He went over to the sitting area and sat on the floor. "Okay, so I guess we get out the same way we got in?"

I just shrugged, "Yeah, I guess." Mikey stopped and whispered something in my ear. I nodded, smiling. "I'll find out."

He went to sit by Don, but Raph and I were still standing apart. "You guys go on. We'll be there in a minute." Raph said to them.

My two youngest brothers shared a look before settling down into the meditation position. It took a minute for them to concentrate hard enough, and for Mikey to stop squirming, and then they were gone.

"Whoa…" Raph whispered, staring at where they had been sitting.

"I'm guessing you have something to say that you couldn't back in the real world, right?" I asked with a small smile.

He tore his eyes away from where he'd been looking and only met my gaze for a second before turning away. "Same dif…"

"What is it, Raph?" I asked softly.

He inhaled deeply, lacing his fingers behind his head and dropped them heavily when he let out his breath in a long sigh. "You don't seem fazed by any of this…" I recognized the tone in Raph's voice. I didn't hear it much, but that's because his tough façade doesn't crack much either.

"Raph, I'm not gonna lie, if you weren't here right now, I'd probably collapse in a blubbering heap." I said, smirking.

He let out a choked half-laugh before sobering quickly, looking down at his hands and then at the ceiling. "Leo, I…I really thought…I really thought we'd lost you back there."

"Hey," I put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look at me. His eyes held a deep pain I'd never really seen before in him. "I don't know what went on out there, but I'm not leaving you guys, not for a long time. I'm gonna make this all up to you."

Raph smiled faintly and raised his hand between us. "Promise?"

I slapped my hand into his. "Promise." I pulled him into a one armed hug, our hands still clasped between us. Smiling, I felt his grip on me tighten for a second before he let go.

"This doesn't get repeated…" Raph said, his rough drawl back in place.

I nodded seriously. "I won't tell them how you said you needed me either."

His eyes widened briefly before he could cover his reaction. "You uh…you heard that?"

I grinned. "Yeah, I heard that."

He covered up his embarrassment quickly in true Raph fashion- by turning it on me. "So, did _you_ learn anything from this little experience?"

"The tin man actually does have a heart?" I smirked. He narrowed his eyes and I sighed. "Alright, you all need me…and…I need you guys a lot more." Raph smiled smugly. "So what about you, _Sensei_?What did you gain?" I grinned as we walked back to sit where Don and Mikey had disappeared from.

His forehead wrinkled in confusion. "I was supposed to learn something?"

"How about be nice to your brother when he's got a psycho living in his head?"

"Let's just avoid that problem in the future."

"I'm good with that."

Raph sat down and looked up at me expectantly. "You promised…"

"I'm coming, don't worry." I smiled reassuringly. He nodded, sighing. "Catch you on the flip side." I grinned, nudging him with my foot before he closed his eyes to meditate.

I watched him disappear and looked around, taking another deep breath. For the first time in a long time, I didn't have to look over my shoulder. But I did it anyways…Heaven knows I wouldn't try this in front of my brothers.

One gravity-defying move later, I was lying flat on my shell. _Note to Mikey…__NOT__ like the Matrix._

DONATELLO

It was past midnight when I heard Leo starting to stir. I'd been sitting on the floor tinkering with the shell cell I'd just rebuilt for the 3rd time this night. Raph and Mikey were asleep on the floor on either side of me. We'd opted for sleeping bags down here instead of the beds upstairs to be closer to Leo, who hadn't woken up after we'd joined the real world again.

Raph had seemed pretty pissed and pretended not to care again while Mikey and I waited patiently. They'd lost the battle for consciousness a few hours ago; the fight against that creature obviously leaving some residue of exhaustion if not physical signs.

Leo groaned softly, his head turning toward me. I sat up straight and slid closer to the couch. Slowly his eyes fluttered open. He blinked rapidly, his eyes adjusting to the dark before focusing on me. "Don?" He whispered hoarsely.

"Hey, Bro." I smiled. "Welcome back. How you feelin?"

Leo lifted the arm that had been hanging off the side of the couch, knuckles scraping the ground, and pinched his eyes shut. "Headache…" He rasped before dropping his hand again. I saw his eyes scanning the room. "Where-?"

"We're at Casey's farm." I explained quietly.

"The guys?"

"Asleep. They came out of it hours ago."

Leo sighed, shutting his eyes briefly. "So that was all real?" He asked quietly, though his voice was grating.

I nodded. "Well…as real as you could call something that happened in our minds…"

"Well my head is feeling the residue of battle, so it must be." His mouth twitched; almost like he was smiling…I hadn't seen my brother smile in weeks. "So I've really been a complete jack ass all this time, haven't I?"

My face split into a grin. "That's a word for it."

Leo let out what sounded like a cough, but must have been a laugh as he smiled and turned his face into his pillow before looking back at me. "I'm sorry, Don."

"It wasn't your fault, was it?" I shrugged.

"Guess not." He smiled weakly back. "So how come you're awake?"

"Well I figured you'd be exhausted and wouldn't be waking up for a while, and _I _was exhausted, so I got an hour or two in just after we got back. I knew you were okay, so I knew I could risk it."

"How's that?" Leo asked thoughtfully.

"The second Mikey and I woke up back here he took one look at you and said, "He's back." I hadn't heard him so sure of anything since he insisted that Silver Sentry could kick Superman's butt…so I knew. You were gonna be okay…that and you were sleeping on your stomach."

Leo's eyes drew together at this. "What?" He croaked, looking down and suddenly noticing his position.

I smiled. "17 years of sleeping in the same bunk, Leo, I know how you sleep. You haven't done that since you were a kid...since you were 7 actually."

He narrowed his eyes in confusion. "I don't-."

"That was back before you worried 24/7, Bro. When you could actually relax? Sleeping on your back all the time now, you look like you could spring into action at any second, all tensed and everything. Mikey noticed too. You were the one we went to after nightmares, remember? We knew…"

Leo smiled, letting out a sigh. "So is this some resort back to childhood, Doc?"

"It means you're actually resting, Leo. And I know you haven't done that in a while."

He frowned suddenly. "How long has it been?"

"Since when?"

"Since all this started. Since we fought Saki…"

"Around 4 weeks now I guess. You've been out cold for the last 24 hours. We fought at April's 4 or 5 days ago."

His expression darkened even more.

"Leo, we still don't know what happened there…"

"I'm only going to want to tell that story once, Don." He said in a low hoarse voice, but he wasn't angry.

I nodded. "Fair enough." I noticed how he was fighting to keep his eyes open. "You should go back to sleep. You're still pretty weak."

"Sensei wasn't there." Leo suddenly said, his eyes half-closed.

"No, he's here. He's sleeping in another room." I tried to reassure him.

He shook his head slightly. "He wasn't _there_."

"When we were fighting?" Leo nodded once. "He said it was up to us- that he couldn't go."

Leo shut his eyes, his head sinking further into the pillow. "He wouldn't…" He rasped.

I looked at him, confused, but his steady breathing told me he was asleep. I sat there for another minute, trying to think what Leo could have meant. Then again, he was exhausted- emotionally and physically. He probably wasn't sure what he meant. Sighing, I laid back into my sleeping bag between my brothers, keeping an eye on Leo's sleeping form until my eye-lids became heavy and slid shut.

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Obi Won says...review!!! 


	18. Too Good To Be

A/N: Alrighty, yeah so you basically got from the end of the last chapter, it aint over till its over. There's gonna be more action and all that to come still. Until then, here's some fun angsty stuff to keep you occupied... Thanks as always to my beta for helping me think...and helping me not sound like an idiot.

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MICHELANGELO

Light hit my eye-lids and I groaned, turning over and reaching to pull my blanket over my head. Instead I grabbed the slippery material of the sleeping bag I was lying in. Realization hit and my eyes snapped open. I was on the floor of Casey's cabin, the early sunrise casting an orange hue over the room.

Something felt wrong, like I was supposed to be somewhere…or doing something…Leo! I sat up at a speed known to cause whiplash and sighed as I saw my brother unconscious on the couch, his back to me. I'd fallen asleep waiting for him to wake up. Great…what if he hadn't woken up at all? I half-wished he hadn't, just because I had wanted to be there.

Raph was snoring softly, sleeping on the other side of Donny who was dead asleep with his mouth slightly open. I started to think of a number of things I could stick in there, but my thoughts quickly turned back to Leo.

We'd had one heck of a day yesterday, one worthy of a series of comic books. I still don't understand what happened entirely. I'd certainly gotten the snot kicked out of me wherever we had been. But even though I didn't bear any visible marks, I was still sore. It didn't make any sense to me and the only people I could ask for answers weren't talking. Leo had a good excuse at least. Master Splinter on the other hand...When we'd returned from attacking the psycho in Leo's head, April and Casey had been waiting anxiously and asked what had happened. As soon as Sensei heard we'd managed to beat the thing and that we were okay, he'd left the room and I haven't seen him since.

He'd been acting weird for almost as long as Leo had. But if there was another psychopath in his head, the world had no hope. I don't think that's the problem anyways. Spinter's been Splinter…as normal as a mutated rat could be, speaking in proverbs and making about as much sense as Yoda. I've never seen Sensei as anything but Arnold Schwarzenegger free from steroids, invincible and untouchable. Only now, I think something has touched him. Leo was his golden boy no matter how much he would deny it. Before this whole production of evil spirits and all that, I could count the number of times Splinter has ever had to lecture Leo on my two hands- remember that's only 6. I'm not quite sure what Sensei has been thinking, lately, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's shaken up by his mini me going temporarily psychotic.

This wasn't too comforting to me of course. These were the two most stable beings I knew (I would include Donny, but he can go pretty nuts when in techno-geek mode, and all geniuses are pretty crazy in my personal honest opinion). Inside, I knew that Leo was okay- or that he would be okay now- but until I was sure, we didn't have much for leadership. Raph had taken that role for a split second-any longer and I would have stepped up myself- but quickly became detached when Leo hadn't come out of his coma right away.

I sat with my elbows resting on my knees that were pulled up close to my chest, watching my oldest brother. After beating the monster that had almost taken him from us, Leo had been the turtle I hadn't seen in 10 years; the one that helped me instill a fear of insects into Raph and laughed more than he frowned. I can't remember the last time Leo had affectionately touched any of us like he had in there. He'd become so much of a protector and not enough of a brother lately, going downhill and fast. It really sucks that this whole thing happened…but I think things with Leo are going to be a little better now. Getting possessed has to be one shell of a wake-up call.

"Mikey….Mike? Michelangelo!" I blinked and looked around, not having heard the voice until the final harsh whisper. It was loud enough to snap me from my thoughts but Raph and Don were still sound asleep. My eyes fell across the couch where Leo was propping himself up on his elbow and giving me a funny look.

I blinked again. "Leo? Leo!" I squealed and lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Hey, Bro." He laughed softly, patting me awkwardly on the back with one arm and holding himself up with the other. I pulled back, remembering he was still injured and everything and not wanting to hurt him.

"Is this really you, now?" I asked, staring into his eyes.

"Yes, I promise. Take a seat," he smiled. Leo pushed himself up and I reached forward to lay a steadying hand on his arm when he grimaced in pain.

"You okay?"

"Could be better... How about you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow when I winced on sitting down next to him.

"I'm good. I'm great." I nodded quickly. "I guess it really is like the Matrix."

Leo smiled. "Not entirely."

"It didn't work?" I frowned. "Dangit…"

"Yep." Leo sighed, leaning against the armrest. We sat in silence for a minute, knees pulled up to our chests, staring at nothing. Finally Leo spoke up. "Mikey…I remember you tried to talk to me the other night. I'm really sorry I blew you off like that. You were trying to help-."

"Not a big deal, Dude." I shrugged. "You've never yelled at me your entire life. You just weren't yourself."

"You could put it that way." He smiled sadly, staring at his hands.

"Can… I ask you a question?" This was one of those moments where I'm pretty sure it wasn't a question I should be asking, but I couldn't help myself. Leo nodded, his expression telling me he expected nothing less. "What was it like?"

Leo took a deep breath, resting his chin on his knee before letting it out. "It's hard to say…"

"Oh, you don't have to tell me. Sorry, Bro." I said quickly.

"No, it's okay, Mikey. It just is hard to tell. I don't know how to describe it really. And I don't really remember a lot of it."

"What do you remember?"

He shrugged. "Bits and pieces. Probably the parts when I was most in control. But I remember a few times when I wasn't; it was just like I was seeing it through someone else's eyes. It's all kind of a blur."

"Master Splinter said you could fight it off in the beginning."

"Unconsciously, I guess, yeah. I never knew anything was wrong at first. I mean I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind after what happened that night on Saki's ship. But then I'd get really strong feelings that I couldn't explain. At first I could just get over it and shrug them off. Then I started to give into it...then I had no control at all. Whenever I was with you guys…like that night at April's…" He swallowed at this point and didn't speak for another few seconds. "When I felt like I had to protect you, I was completely in control. But when I had the slightest feeling of getting angry, I blacked out. I didn't know what I was doing until it was over."

"When did you find out what was going on?"

"Heh, never. Not entirely. Before April's I knew something was off. After that, I wasn't lucid enough to put it all together. After April's, I can't account for anything I did except on maybe a few occasions. I didn't know that people could actually get into my head like that. That night you talked to me, when I was myself for the most part, I could start putting it together. By the time Raph talked to me, I'd figured out so much that this guy in my head sucked me in completely and that's probably when I passed out. It was kind of a relief. I'd been trying to distance myself from you for a long time, just because I knew I was having trouble controlling my emotions. It wasn't normal, what I was feeling… I've been pissed at you guys before, but I'd never wanted to hurt you…" He shrugged, staring at a frayed thread on the back of the couch.

"You felt like you wanted to hurt us?" I asked quietly.

Leo's eyes snapped up to meet mine. "I'd never hurt you, Mikey." He said sternly. "Never."

"But you hurt Raph…"

He looked away. "I know…that really tipped me off that I wasn't just going through some selfish depression. We've hurt each other before, but I didn't have control over it this time." He let out a short breathy laugh that held no humor. "You wonder why I shut myself in my room all those days…"

"You could have told us, Leo. We would have tried to understand."

"I was scared to even talk to you. We were having a good conversation that one night, Mikey, but if you hadn't left when you had…"

"What about Master Splinter? You always go to him for help."

Leo shifted uncomfortably, glancing at our sleeping brothers. He turned his body to face me, his injured leg only able to bend slightly, the other one he continued to hug near his chest. "Mike, I don't want you repeating this okay?"

"Uh…you do know who you're talking to right?" I asked, leaning in to whisper.

"I'll take my chances." He smirked briefly. "But, I don't want to make you feel like you have to pick a side, Mikey."

"We all know you two have something going on. I just want to know what it is. It's not like you guys to be so distant from each other."

Casting one last look at Raph and Don, Leo sighed. "Alright. That morning after Casey's cousin came here, when you and Don had gone back inside, Splinter and I were still on the roof. It wasn't anything big, he just told me I needed to calm down and stop disrespecting him. The way I took it, he was blaming me for screwing up. He just wouldn't tell me straight up. All those times I was mad at him, I know that wasn't just this guy influencing my mind- It was actually me…"

"We all have our moments with Sensei, Leo. It's normal to get mad at him sometimes, but I'm sure he didn't blame you for what happened. None of us do."

Leo shook his head. "I've been mad at Splinter plenty of times, Mikey, but it was nothing like this. Whenever I got mad at you guys, I tried to fight it off. When I was mad at him, I encouraged it. He really was pissing me off, Mike."

I hugged my knees tightly, biting my lip. "Why?"

"He knew." Leo said simply, his eyes downcast. "He knew what was going on with me." His eyes met mine again, this time filled with the fire that had only become familiar over the past few weeks. His breathing suddenly sped up. "He knew, and he didn't do a thing. He didn't tell me. He didn't try to stop it."

"He told us he had only just figured it out yesterday..." I was finding it hard to believe that Master Splinter would ever just let one of us suffer like that.

"That's what he told you. He left out the part where he got into my head…" His voice caught in his throat. "And then he left." Leo rubbed the back of his neck furiously.

"Whoa." I held up my hands. "Let me stop you right there. What do you mean he got into your head? He kept telling us you were blocking him."

Leo smirked, a scary smirk worthy of Damian. "I was at first. I didn't want him to know what I was personally thinking of him at the time and get into more trouble. When I figured out that something was wrong, I wanted to tell him. He was trying to get into my head during one of those meditation sessions, and I distinctly remember talking to him. He told me I had to overcome this obstacle on my own. That was his advice."

"Then he can't have known what was going on completely…" I tried to reason. It wasn't like Sensei to leave any of us alone like that.

"Michelangelo?" I turned quickly to see the very rat of our conversation coming down the stairs.

"Morning, Sensei." I said hesitantly.

He paused, mid-step, his eyes widening slightly. "Leonardo?" He gave a small smile. "It is good to see you awake and well."

"Not thanks to you…" I heard Leo mutter, though I'm not sure if Sensei actually heard it. He gave a short nod to cover it up, refusing to look at the confused rat.

I winced. A Raphael-Leonardo level fight was coming on between the two mutants I thought least likely to do it.

"Is everything alright?" Sensei asked softly, coming down the last few steps, stopping short of my sleeping brothers.

Leo looked up with an emotionless expression. "Shouldn't you be able to tell?"

Master Splinter's eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I heard you've been doing a lot of that lately." Leo scoffed.

"My Son, what are you talking about?" His temper was getting shorter. I could hear it in his clipped tone.

Eyes narrowing, Leo shook his head. "Don't call me that right now."

Sensei doesn't look shocked much, but this was definitely one of those times. "Leonardo, what is going on? Are you feeling alright?"

"Well I have total control over my mind now, thanks to my brothers, if that's what you're asking." He pulled himself up and leaned back against the armrest, arms folded across his chest. "But you knew that already. You know a lot you don't tell us." Leo's voice was cold, but carried a tone that betrayed his pain.

Splinter narrowed his eyes. "What is this about?"

Leo pushed off from the couch angrily, his voice rising. "This is about you lying."

"About what?" Sensei asked with surprising calm, but I still melted into the couch, eyes darting back and forth between the two.

"About knowing what was going on. You knew!" Leo stabbed a finger in Splinter's direction.

"I did not lie about knowing. I did what I could." His expression was calm, but there was hurt in his eyes.

"What was that- nothing? You completely abandoned me!"

I looked down to see Raph and Don laying wide-eyed and confused, staring up at the battle going on over them.

Leo continued; his breathing quick and shallow. "I went through _hell_ waiting for you to help me, and you _never_ came." His voice cracked and he swallowed, finally noticing our brother's shocked expressions from the floor.

"Leonardo," Sensei started firmly, but his tone softened immediately, "it is not as you think. We should continue this conversation later, in private."

"Whatever." Leo sighed. He unsteadily, but quickly limped to the door and threw it open.

The room was completely silent for an entire minute before Raph spoke. "So…Leo's awake…"

"Yep…" Don and I muttered.

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A/N: The mind tricks have been doing wonders for my reviewers, so I guess I should keep it going... _Review..._


	19. Swallow the Knife

A/N: Huge gracias to my beta for this one!! Let's just say I have no direction in life...or in the fic at least...ANYWAYS, thanks to the reviewers!! those of you who did review...those who dont...you know who you are... evil eyes Still love ya. So here's this chapter...moogs says it makes sense, so it should...if not, feel free to ask. And the guys have got to be SLIGHTLY ooc...it's just how this fic is...but I'm trying to do my best.

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RAPHAEL

Mike, Don and I approached the barn silently, knowing that's where we'd find Leo. I guess we'd get that whole family intervention thing after all. We should have known things with our older brother couldn't be fixed so quickly.

Master Splinter hadn't said anything after Leo left. He looked pretty depressed when he went back upstairs though. We decided to let both of them cool off and April had offered to make us breakfast anyways, so we stayed inside.

Mikey had promptly spilled his guts to Don and me in a hushed voice over the meal. He'd told us about what Leo had been saying that morning before the fight with Master Splinter. Obviously it was supposed to be a secret, but those words never really fazed Mike. It helped to clear a few things up at least.

So Splinter Jr. had a problem with Sensei- one that lasted beyond all the other bad feelings he'd had that were done away with when that creature was destroyed. That must mean that Leo was genuinely pissed at Master Splinter. I'm not sure any of us have ever talked to him like that before… if anyone, it would have been me, and I don't believe I have, cuz I like my shell where it is, intact.

Hearing about Don's conversation with Leo wasn't any more enlightening. It just proved to us that something had happened at April's and reinforced that Leo was mad at Sensei.

So that left us to finally force Leo to give some answers. I was ready to beat them out of him should the need arise.

Donny seemed to be reading my thoughts. "Remember, he's not mad at us, Raph. So unless you want things to go back to the way they were last week, chill."

I shrugged, discretely moving my hand away from my sai. "What?"

Mikey snorted and walked past me. He grabbed the metal handle with both hands and strained to slide the large barn door open. Body at a 45 degree angle, his feet slipped on the dirt, carving deep grooves into the ground, but the door didn't even budge.

Rolling my eyes, I put one hand on the other door and pushed it open, giving Mike a smug look as I walked inside.

"I knew that…" I heard him mutter to Donny behind me.

The morning sun beamed through the rotting ceiling, leaving stripes of bright light across the walls and hay-strewn floor of the barn. This made it harder to see and I squinted, looking around for my older brother.

"Did you guys stop to eat or something?" I heard Leo saying from somewhere to my left. He sounded slightly subdued, but mostly amused. I turned to see him sitting on the ground, leaning against a bale of hay, a small smile on his face. He had one elbow propped up on his bent knee, his head resting in his hand.

"You know us." Mikey grinned, leaping over a stack of the bales to sit on a single one next to Leo. "But don't worry, Donny's brought some toast."

Don handed Leo a napkin that April had sent us out with and took a seat on a turned-over barrel across from Mikey. I stood leaning against a wooden beam, arms folded across my chest. This was my first good look at Leo since he'd woken up. His deep brown eyes held all the characteristics I'd expect to see in our old fearless leader, plus one more I didn't. There was a spark of fire there that Splinter had once warned me that I myself had. It could be either a good or bad thing depending on how you controlled it… or didn't…

Leo set aside the toast and around at all of us. "Mikey told you everything, didn't he?"

"You expected him to." I said, catching his eye.

He cracked a quick smile and shrugged. "One less story I have to tell you."

"Why don't you tell us what's going on already?" I asked impatiently.

"I hate to agree with Raph, Dude, but what happened in there?" Mikey jumped in. "That didn't sound like normal Leo without the Psycho in his head."

"That was me, Mike…" Leo sighed, rubbing his neck. "At least I think it was."

"Whoa." Donny leaned forward. "What do you mean you think it was?"

"It means I was conscious the whole time. I knew what I was doing. I just can't believe I actually did it." Leo frowned, staring at the straw under his fingers.

Mikey fidgeted nervously. "Well that doesn't mean anything. Raph loses his temper all the time and look at all the stupid stuff he's done." He barely had time to duck the dirt clod I threw at his head.

"He could be right. This thing was around for weeks. A reaction like you just had could be residual feelings from it." Donny shrugged.

Leo looked any but reassured. "I never said I felt bad about it."

"What do you mean?" Mikey asked slowly.

"I'm glad I got that off my chest. He deserved it, and yet…I dunno." He sighed, running a hand over his face.

"What did he do to piss you off anyways?" I growled. "Master Splinter was worried sick about you, he didn't _leave_ you anywhere."

"I thought Mikey told you everything?" He responded in a low tone.

"I can't believe that Sensei could know what was going on and not help you. He doesn't do that. You watched on Saki's ship when he saved Mikey from getting electrocuted. He'd do anything for us."

Leo just shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Alright then." I said, straightening up. "What happened at April's?"

Out of the corners of my eyes I saw Don and Mike glance at me only to focus on Leo a second later. He seemed to visibly shrink under their gaze.

"It's that or talk about Sensei, Leo. It's up to you." I said in a softer tone. My mind flashed back to that night he'd appeared back at the lair- the state of his battered body… Every time April's had been mentioned after that, Leo had closed in on himself more so than before. The one time he'd tried to open up to me, he'd ended up collapsing and fell into a coma.

Leo pushed himself up and I was afraid he'd walk away, but instead he started to slowly pace in front of us. "I told you about the dreams I had after Shredder's ship, Raph."

"What about them?"

"The man, the one who was chasing us in the dream…he was at April's."

"How could you see someone before you actually met him?" Donny asked.

Leo let out a short, non-humorous laugh. "All the crap that you went through last night and that's your question, Don?" He shook his head. "This guy had been trying to get in my head for weeks. I know it worked sometimes too, more often just before April called us. He'd been building up, planning this entire trap. The dreams were all a part of it. I just couldn't recognize it at the time."

"Wait, so that was the guy that was attacking your mind?" Donny asked more hesitantly.

"Yeah, you've met him too. You fought him last night."

"So that wasn't an evil Flubber?" Mikey questioned, forehead creased in confusion.

Leo just raised an eyeridge. "What?"

"We couldn't see who we were fighting, Leo. He was just a black shape." I explained.

"Oh..." He gave his head a small shake and continued his limping pace back and forth. "Yeah, he's a man- a Foot ninja to be exact. He told me his name was Sheer."

"A Foot managed to do all this?" Donny asked quizzically.

Leo shrugged. "I know, I couldn't believe it either, but the symbol doesn't lie."

"Let's get back to April's." I cut in. "What happened after we left?"

He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes tightly for a minute.

"You okay?" Mikey asked quickly, standing and ready to be at Leo's side in a second.

"It's just this freaking headache." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "It's hard to remember everything. It all comes in flashes…" Leo dropped his hand in frustration and continued pacing, waving his hand as he talked. "Hun knocked me against the wall, I might have blacked out, I don't know. The next thing I knew, Sheer was standing over me with his sword at my neck." He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. "Something happened…I blacked out, but …I wasn't… He was attacking my mind, trying to get inside. I recognized the feeling from all the times he had tried it before, only now I knew what it really was. It was him. I fought him out the first time, but he was so much stronger than any time before. I was just so tired…"

Even as I watched him now, Leo seemed grow more exhausted. Mikey was still on his feet, ready to help should he be needed. His face was contorted in concern.

"Somehow, I got my swords back…He-he gave me my swords. He wanted me to fight him." The events must have been unfolding in Leo's mind as he talked. He said it like he'd never realized it before. "I've never fought anyone like him before. He knew every single move I was going to make before I made it…_because_ he was at least partially in my mind…he could anticipate everything. I was so focused on stopping Sheer from taking my head off that I didn't realize he was using it as a decoy. All of my energy was put into the physical aspect that I did nothing to protect my mind…" Like Donny on a science breakthrough, Leo was talking faster as everything connected in his mind… then suddenly he stopped and that closed expression crossed his face.

"Leo?" Mikey said in a barely audible voice.

But Leo was in his own world. He'd stopped pacing and was staring at something off to the side as if seeing the scene play out before him. His tone was flat now; no longer excited like it had been seconds before. "He could have killed me…but he didn't. He'd beaten me so much- to the point of giving up… I was going to give up. Then he took over. He was completely inside my head. I was just a wide open book to him. He knew _everything_." Leo whispered. "Everything about me, he just went through all of it. I couldn't do a thing about it…he dragged me through every worst memory I had…" He didn't talk for a full minute. The pain of the experience was etched onto his face.

I glanced at Don whose mouth was open slightly. Mikey was just standing there in complete shock.

When Leo spoke again, his voice was almost normal. His hand went back to rubbing his neck. "But…but then he tried to figure out about you guys. He tried to find out where the lair was. Suddenly I could shut him out again. I couldn't let him find out…I don't know how, but I managed to run away. I don't think he expected me to be able to. I closed him out for as long as I could. I got back to the lair after making sure I wasn't being followed and making sure he didn't know where it was. Everything after that is kind of fuzzy…" He trailed off, hand weakly reaching up to hold his head.

Donny and I leapt forward as Leo started to go down, but Mikey beat us to it. He caught Leo just as his knees gave out and sat next to him on a bale of hay. He put a hand on Leo's shell as Leo leaned over with his head in his hands.

"You okay, Bro?" I asked, crouching down in front of him.

He nodded slightly. "He's still out there- Sheer is. He's alive."

Donny hesitated. "We managed to kick him out once, but that doesn't mean he won't try to get in again."

"I know." Leo sighed. "It's like there's still some connection…he's fighting to keep it."

"Could be the source of the headache." Don nodded.

Mikey and I shared a look. "Then we gotta find this guy." I said, putting a hand on Leo's knee. "We're gonna find him and make sure he can't do that ever again."

He lifted his head from his hands to look at me and the corner of his mouth twitched. "Yeah?"

I nodded with a growing smile. "Yeah. No one messes with my brothers but me."

"We have to talk to Splinter." Donny said. At Leo's look of horror, he continued quickly. "I'm sorry, Leo, but I'm with Raph. You can't have the whole story. Just go talk to him. He always has an explanation for everything. Just hear him out. He'll want to know what happened to you…he can help."

Leo put his dropped his head back into his hands.

"He's right, Bro." Mikey said quietly. "Since when has he ever steered us wrong? ...Remember, you used to call him Father once upon a time."

Leo looked up at Mikey and his eyes slowly drifted to the floor in a thoughtful expression. Finally he nodded. "Okay…I'll talk to him."

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A/N: More answers to come next chappie. But questions, comments? cookies? TALK TO ME. I'm a lonely student who's trapped between finals and a load of crap. That could be the same thing actually...but please review? PLEASE...or..._review...you know you want to._


	20. The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

A/N: Woot, yay for 10 page essays over! Too bad i totally neglected a test and hw assignment, but it was worth it!! lol, just send me reviews... Now, i gotta say, I'm a sucker for voices...and CGI Leo has a really nice voice to me, and he's much cuter that way, so even though this is the cartoon verse...i imagine they look and sound like the CGI turtles. You can take it whatever way, it doesn't matter...that's just what i think... and thanks to moogs!! we're freaking night owls, yo.

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LEONARDO

My brothers practically carried me back to the house and not just because I was weak. That was embarrassing enough in itself. But that, coupled with my paralyzing migraine and intense desire to avoid Splinter for a very long time, made me want to curl up and die rather than talk to him. So much for fearless leader, I couldn't even face my own Sensei.

I was trying to accept what my brothers had said and believe that there was more to this story than what I knew. The thing was, I was sure I had seen Splinter in the place that was my personal hell and he'd left me there without raising so much as a finger to help me. I hadn't wanted to believe that he was capable of doing that, but I didn't see another explanation. I was sure that Splinter would be the one I could count on during this entire thing, but I can't count on anything anymore- except maybe my brothers.

Spending an immeasurable amount of time trapped and tortured inside your own mind tends to make you a bit cynical and untrusting, even of yourself. I can't even be sure of who I am anymore. No one seems to think I'm completely myself yet. I feel like myself…I know what it feels like to not be me…so I'm pretty sure this is just me.

Then things like snapping at Splinter happen and I have to question my sanity all over again. I've felt like slamming his head into the wall more than once, I admit, but I'd never really fought with him like that…ever. I'd usually pull a Raph and run off if I felt like my temper was going to get the best of me. I should have given him the benefit of the doubt, heard his side of the story, or at least not have yelled at him. But I didn't…I couldn't. And that was really scaring me.

Could I even trust myself anymore?

Mikey's grip on my arm tightened as we headed up the porch steps. My knee wasn't as painful as it had been, but my enervated muscles left the joint too weak to support itself. That and I was actually milking this for all it was worth, delaying the time until I'd have to face Splinter. Screw my pride. I think Donny's wrong…I really am reverting back to childhood. Only an 8-year-old me would be this hesitant.

I felt pretty ashamed of myself. I was supposed to be the older brother, protector and all that. Instead I was having this episode of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or fear of abandonment… So what if Splinter had known what was going on? I should have been able to save myself. I had been too weak to fight off this monster and that was my fault, not his. He was right to leave me there. I deserved that much…

My head suddenly gave an especially painful throb and for a split second it felt like I was there again… My very blood had felt a poison running through my veins, but what hurt more was watching the one I knew as my Father turning his back on me.

I blinked and realized I was back in the house, another pair of my brother's hands supporting me.

"You okay?" Donny was asking, standing in front of me.

"Whoa, what's goin' on?" Casey's voice boomed and I winced against the flare of pain in my head.

"Not now, Case." Raph waved him off.

Adrenaline flooded my system, suddenly given strength back to my limbs and I broke the grips holding me and backpedaled away from my brothers, almost running into April. I felt incredibly self-conscious with everyone looking at me while I stood there with what must have been a terrified look on my face.

"Uh…" I stuttered through rapid breathing, "I think I'll hold off on this actually."

"Leo?" April questioned, about to put a hand on my arm, but Raph beat her to it.

Needless to say, I would have preferred April's touch to his, but I didn't expect what he did next. Raph twisted my left arm behind my back and pulled my right around his shoulders, gripping both of my wrists so I couldn't fight back.

"Ow! Raph!" I cried.

"Let's move it, Leo." He growled, practically dragging me past Donny and Mikey and up the stairs. I could barely keep my good leg under me let alone my bad one which managed to land maybe every three steps.

Finally, once we reached the loft, he let go, giving me a small shove forward. I stumbled, almost falling but managed to catch myself, gingerly balancing most of my weight on one leg. "What the shell was that, Raph!"

"I don't want to hurt you, Leo." He said calmly, but I heard the warning to his tone.

"A little late for that." I snapped, rubbing my shoulder, sore from the jerking around.

"Don't you slip back into that mindset." Raph said, louder this time as he pointed a finger at me.

"What are you talking about?" I cried in exasperation.

"I can always see it in your eyes, Leo. Every negative thought that you let into your head, the psycho Foot is that much closer to taking over again." He barked angrily. "So help me, Bro, if you _ever_ get like that again…" He let the threat hang in the air.

I stared, open-mouthed, not sure how to respond. What's worse, I think he was right…

"Hurting me, I can deal with that. That's just us, Leo, but if that guy takes over again, and you hurt Don, or Mikey," Raph shook his head, clenching his fists, "I would not hesitate in putting your head through the wall, possessed or not. You got me?"

I managed to close my mouth, but hunched my shoulders. After a minute of biting my tongue and staring off to the side I looked back at him. "If it ever happens again…I give you permission to do whatever you have to so I don't…"

Raph's eyes narrowed slightly before softening. "Then don't let it happen, Leo." He said in a surprisingly compassionate voice. My throat suddenly tightened and I laced my fingers behind my neck, starting to pace again. Raph stood there, growing tense at my reaction. "Leo?"

"It's hard, Raph!" I grit my teeth, dropping my hands and facing him. "It's hard, okay?" My voice cracked and I growled in frustration, starting to pace again, hands clasped on top of my head.

Probably in shock, he didn't speak for a minute. "After we kicked him out you were perfectly fine, what happened?"

"Reality?" I shrugged hopelessly. "I was just so happy to be free. Honestly I thought it had been a dream. Then after I woke up, I could think for once. I thought it was over. Sheer wasn't in control anymore. But I remembered things that happened and…I don't know, Raph."

"You're beating yourself up for what happened. That's what's getting you in trouble, Leo."

"It's Splinter." I muttered, shaking my head.

"Leo!" Raph stopped my pacing, putting his hands on my shoulders and forcing me to face him. I'd always been a little taller than him, but right now I cowered under his gaze. "You're not mad at Splinter for what you think happened. You're upset at the reason why." He let out a short scoff. "It always comes back to the same thing with you, Leo. You never think you're good enough. You weren't good enough on Saki's ship, not good enough as a brother, not good enough to stop this from happening, not even good enough to merit a rescue from your own father…"

I stared at the ground, but Raph gave my shoulders a shake. "Hey," He barked, but not in his usual rough way. I met his gaze again. "It's all bull."

"But Raph, you don't-."

"No." He snapped, dropping his hands and pointing a finger in my face. "I don't even care what you were gonna say. Just know this: I don't believe for a second that Splinter would leave you like that, even less that he would want you to suffer what you did. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through, but I wouldn't hesitate to switch places with you so you wouldn't have to experience that again. All of us would, Leo…including Master Splinter."

I really wasn't sure what to say at this point. Raph had never talked to me like this before… And I couldn't help but believe every word. The doubt that had been consuming my mind just seemed to disappear. "So…you think I'm pretty good, huh?"

Raph grinned, his chest shaking with silent laughter. "Leo, don't get me started. Now get in there…talk to him. And stop filling your mind with crap. Remember…you made me a promise. I'm still expecting you to keep it."

"I will…" I nodded, offering a small smile. I limped with only the slightest hesitation to the door. My hand paused above the handle.

"Enter." I heard the familiar command from inside.

With one look back at Raph, I twisted the knob and stepped inside, closing the door behind me. I fought the instant feeling of tension rising in my chest. I realized the images of Splinter walking away were running through my mind and I found I could block it out at least partially with some effort and a short relapse of pain. I was glad the only light in this room was provided by candles. Anything brighter would have aggravated my persistent headache.

Splinter was standing near the window, his hands clasped behind his back. I stood in awkward silence, feeling self-conscious again. I found it increasingly difficult to keep a cool head and felt the urge to snap at him to just talk already.

"You are deeply conflicted, Leonardo." He finally said, still looking outside.

"Did you get that from my head…?" I mumbled.

Splinter turned to face me, giving a small smile. "Thin walls."

"Right." I nodded, not meeting his eyes.

He frowned. "What troubles you?"

"You should know that." I said flatly.

Splinter took a few steps forward and sat down on the floor. "I want you to tell me."

I opened my mouth to shoot something back at him and found Raph's words replaying in my mind. Swallowing, I folded my arms across my chest. "I don't know anymore." I shrugged stiffly.

Splinter gave a fatherly smile. "What were you upset about this morning?"

"I-I thought I-I saw you… When I was trapped… I saw you. You were trying to reach me, but when you did… you didn't- do anything. Y-you left me there…alone. You said I needed to do it on my own."

Splinter nodded as he listened. When I finished, he looked up at me, catching my eye. "You doubt this now." It wasn't a question.

I hesitated and then nodded.

"Why?"

"I don't want to believe it…" Quite frankly he wasn't helping matters. His responses hadn't denied it.

"Leonardo, think back. There is more to it than that." He was using the voice he did when he wanted us to reach our own conclusions about something and wasn't about to make it easy.

I let out a long breath. "I'd really rather not think about it at all." Splinter gave me a questioning look so I elaborated. "Every time I do… it's too real. Everything was so wrong about it…and yet, there wasn't really any other explanation."

"What was wrong about it?"

"Well I thought it was too good to be true… and…" I paused and let out a scoff, "Never in my life have you ever told me to do something alone."

Splinter smiled. "What other explanation could there be then?"

"My head really hurts, Sensei, can we not?" He gave me a look and I sighed heavily. "I don't know…uh…it could have been fake."

"Fake?" He asked with a voice that clearly conveyed he already knew where this was going.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I was being manipulated in my actions…could've happened in my thoughts too." I ended slowly, feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet.

Sensei motioned for me to sit and I gingerly lowered myself to the floor, staring at my hands. "I was never able to reach you, Leonardo, though I tried many times."

"It was so real…" I whispered.

"The mind is a powerful thing. What happens there can often seem more of a reality that what is really occurring."

"So it was all a lie…he completely manipulated me." I muttered in disbelief. "Why would he do that?"

"Why did he do anything he did? This being was attempting to destroy our family from the inside out, starting with you. Unfortunately, it was not as easy as he probably hoped it would be."

"What do you mean?" I asked shaking my head. "He had complete control over me."

"Did he?" I looked up to meet his eyes for the first time. They were kind and full of compassion, not the eyes I had seen on the rat in my mind. "If I am correct, you often had the urge to harm your brothers."

I nodded. "I cut Raph."

Splinter smiled. "Arguably the consequences of his own actions, not yours. However, you did not hurt him further. You had your katana, Leonardo, but you did not continue to attack him."

"Of course not. I wouldn't do that…but…I did feel like it." I admitted.

"You have resisted his efforts to destroy our family. We are still here, together." Splinter smiled. "My son, you have done well. Do not allow yourself to believe anything less."

"I'm so sorry, Sensei." I whispered, hanging my head.

"It is understandable, my son, that you were upset. No apology is necessary. Now I believe I would like to speak to both you and your brothers."

"I'll go get them." I offered.

"Also not necessary." He said, holding up a hand and getting to his feet and opening the door to reveal all three of my brothers. Raph was standing back a little more, his arms crossed, Donny was biting his lip and Mikey was just grinning.

Sensei raised an eyebrow and I just smiled, shaking my head. He stepped aside, "Come inside, the sound quality is much better when you are the intended listener."

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A/N: Reviews please:D I may get to have another chapter up before finals if i'm well motivated...or you could just be nice to the poor college student... 


	21. Back to Good

A/N: Well it's been forever! I got back to school, so that explains everything really. I need to do hw, therefore i write. Chapter isn't great, but I should get back to the really fun stuff soon. At least I got something up finally. Enjoy and review!!

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DONATELLO

Raph, Mikey and I shuffled into the room, taking seats on either side of Leo. Master Splinter didn't seem upset about our eavesdropping; instead he looked amused, as did our brother. For once, everything was feeling almost normal. There was little tension in the air and I comfortably settled next to Leo without any sense of apprehension.

It was almost like we were back in Sensei's room at the lair. Kneeling in front of him like this always put us in a certain mindset. It meant there was no time for messing around, but it was also familiar and our bodies responded involuntarily, focusing and relaxing at the same time. Years of training had conditioned us to react in this way, like Pavlov's dogs salivating to the sound of a bell. Splinter often made us kneel just to calm us down instead of for instruction or lecture. Right now, I think it was for all of the above.

The excitement of the past few days had everyone on edge and close to the breaking point, and though it wasn't over yet, we all needed a moment to chill out. Leo wasn't physically capable of kneeling at this point, but the muscles of his face and the rest of his body were relaxed, and almost free of tension. I caught him glancing around at us and the look that crossed behind his eyes made me smile. Like a child crawling into his parent's bed after a nightmare, just the comfort of being next to someone in a familiar setting was enough to put him at ease in a way I had rarely seen before.

"My sons," Splinter started softly, casting his eyes across each of us before continuing, a proud smile on his face, "if you still have questions that have not been answered in one way or another…I will do my best to explain all I can at this time."

It was silent for a minute before Mikey started hesitantly. "So what happens next?"

"We gotta find this Sheer guy and take him out, that's what we're gonna do." Raph said unsurprisingly.

"Sheer…?" Splinter repeated quietly to himself.

Leo's eyes narrowed slightly. "You know him, Sensei." It wasn't a question.

He nodded gravely. "I know of him, Leonardo, yes."

"So this isn't just another Foot Ninja, is it?" I asked, my earlier fears confirmed.

"No, Donatello. He is much more than that. My sons, though there is no longer an immediate threat on our family, this danger is still very real."

"Who is this guy? Patton?" Mikey asked doubtfully.

"If the Shredder was like Karai's father, then Sheer would be her Uncle." Leo explained darkly.

"How do you know that?" Raph asked quizzically.

Splinter looked intrigued as well and rested his hands on top of his staff, surveying Leo with a look of compassionate curiosity. "Yes, I too am curious, my son."

"He got into my memories, so I guess it worked both ways-- at least a little." Leo shrugged self-consciously.

"Really now…" Splinter whispered to himself, a glint in his eye.

Mikey and I exchanged nervous looks. Sensei usually didn't look like that. Leo was growing anxious as well. He shifted and sat up more. "What?"

"Do you recall any other information that you gained from him?"

"Bits and…pieces. Why?" He admitted hesitantly.

"We may be able to use this to our advantage."

Leo went rigid. "You want me to get into his head?"

"Whoa!" Raph leaned forward, waving his arm. "You can't be serious, Sensei. Wouldn't that put Leo at risk of getting possessed again?"

"It is a possibility, yes. But I believe with all of us helping, it would not happen."

Leo glanced at me, a pleading look in his eye. I bit my lip. "What information could we possibly gain from this if it did work?"

"Sheer is powerful. Too powerful to defeat with mere strength."

"He's right." Leo admitted reluctantly and let out a sigh. "Sheer can anticipate moves before we make them. If I could get into his head, maybe we could have the same advantage or at least take away his."

"You're actually considering this?" Raph gaped.

"What other option do we have?"

"Sensei?" Mikey asked timidly. We all turned to look at him and he stared back. "What? I can have ideas… What if you went into Leo's head instead?"

Leo's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Well you don't remember everything that happened right? It could be buried in your head somewhere. Sensei could pull some of his super mind tricks and find out what you know about this evil dude but can't remember on your own."

"There's no guarantee that Leo knows anything useful about him." I objected.

"Do we know where this Sheer guy even lives?" Raph asked suddenly. "We don't know anything about him. Mike could be right. Any information could help."

"So now you're all for invading my head." Leo muttered sarcastically.

"If it helps us beat this guy, Leo, yes. It's better than putting you at risk with Sheer again."

"I'll do it if I have to! He'll still have an advantage if I don't do it eventually. Unless of course I have some secret recipe for his kryptonite buried in my brain - which I don't. We can figure out where his base is by looking around the city. No one needs to get in my head, ok?" Leo let out a frustrated growl as he raked his fingers over his head. I noticed his eyes were squinted in pain.

"Maybe we should finish this later." I suggested hesitantly. Mikey looked all for it. Raph scoffed and shook his head.

Sensei just looked troubled. "You don't trust me to do this, Leonardo?"

"Can you blame me?" Leo asked, stating each word with deathly calm, his head snapping up to glare at Master Splinter. "It's not just you, it's anyone!" He said, his voice quickly deteriorating into a pleading tone. "The only time I get to myself is when I retreat to my mind, and that's not even mine anymore. Now we're all gung ho to jump right back in? It's my freaking head, not a-a public swimming pool!"

His outburst was met with absolute silence. Only Leo's harsh breathing could be heard as our eyes eventually traveled to Master Splinter's for some sort of instruction. He lowered his head for a few seconds. "I understand, Leonardo." Sensei said quietly. "I apologize if you feel violated in some way."

"I'm sorry." Leo sighed, eyes closed as he kneaded his fingers against his temples. "You guys saved my life, I _know_ that, but this is something I need to do. If I don't, I'll never trust myself again. Besides … I owe Sheer a major migraine."

"April might have some aspirin. I'll go get it." I offered and Leo gave a slight nod, breathing a quiet, 'thanks.'

I got to my feet and stepped out into the much cooler loft, taking in a lung-full of air that hadn't been thickened with tension. So things were slowly returning to normal…more slowly than I liked, but at least we weren't going backwards anymore. The outbursts were less violent and Leo's original personality had been showing through more frequently.

Now our major problem was beating this enigma that was Sheer. Our fight in that alternate reality had convinced me of his merciless fighting skills and judging from Splinter's reaction, this guy was just as bad if not worse than the Shredder. I shuddered involuntarily. That worthless piece of scrap metal had started this whole mess. The encounter with him had screwed Leo up to the point where he was vulnerable to attack on his mind. Now his successor was ruthless enough to scare my brother into the wreck that he'd become.

I hoped finding Sheer would only be a matter of some simple scouting or maybe even a computer search if I was lucky. Anything else would take more energy than any of us had left to give at this point. We needed to save all we could for this final battle. When that's over, I think Leo will finally be able to recover from the assault on his soul. That's when I'll breathe a sigh of relief.

"What's going on up there, Donny?" April asked from the couch, sitting up quickly to cover that she had been leaning against Casey's chest. I don't know why she's still bothering to fight what we all know is going to happen with them.

"Conflict resolution for the most part," I answered, rubbing the back of my neck. "That and trying to figure out what we should do next. We didn't get very far."

Casey sat back, frowning at the discontinued contact between him and April. "How's Leo? He was actin' pretty strange."

I smirked despite myself. "Yeah, that's nothing new. He's got a headache. You have anything he can take?"

"I'll get it." April offered, standing quickly and going to a cupboard in the kitchen. "Is he really okay?" She asked quietly as I joined her.

"He's- getting there."

April fumbled with the child-proof lid. "Stupid thing." She muttered.

"Want me to-."

"I can't help but think it's my fault." She suddenly interrupted, slamming the bottle of pills onto the counter.

My eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? April, you carry the least possible amount of responsibility for this."

"This all happened after you guys came to save me at my apartment." April frowned.

"It's a lot more complicated than that." I smiled reassuringly. "April, this has been going on for weeks. If it didn't happen at your house, it would have happened somewhere else. If anything, as his brother I should have seen it coming. We all screwed up pretty bad this time, but you had nothing to do with it. Honestly, you being safe was the only thing I saw Leo the least bit happy about that whole time. So don't beat yourself up. We've got enough of that going on as it is."

April managed a small smile. "Alright…thanks." She finally got the cap off and dumped out a couple small pills.

I took the entire bottle. "It's a big headache." I shrugged at her raised eyebrow.

"Just don't OD." She rolled her eyes, smiling, and grabbed a glass, filling it with water. "So he won't choke too." She said with a slightly sarcastic tone, handing me the cup.

"With our luck…" I let out a soft laugh. "Thanks." I put a hand on her arm for a brief moment before heading back upstairs.

Mikey was supporting Leo to one of the beds in the loft as I rounded the banister.

"Everything ok?" I asked, setting the glass and bottle down on a nightstand nearby and crouching in front of Leo who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.

"Can we turn off the sun already?" He slurred.

"He's delirious." Raph drawled.

"I am not." Leo rasped.

"Mikey, get the blinds." I sighed, grabbing the pills from the nightstand. Grabbing Leo's arm away from his face, I dropped three pills into his hand.

He looked at me with blood-shot eyes. "Can I have maybe _five_ more?"

"Can't handle a little pain?" I taunted, knowing that normally Leo would take it as a challenge.

His eyes narrowed slightly before he tossed the pills back into his mouth. I handed him the glass of water which he downed.

I grinned inwardly. "Good. Now lay down. Try to sleep. It'll help." He groaned, but complied.

Mikey, Raph and I headed back downstairs. "I'm gonna kill Sheer with my bare hands just so I don't have to deal with Fearless anymore." Raph growled.

Mikey and I shared a look and he grinned, letting out a sarcastic "Yeah, _that's_ the reason, Raph."

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A/N: Remember, Obi Won wants you to review! 


	22. Shadows and Regrets

A/N: I'm updating faster again!! Yay! Well I really liked this chapter, sooo I hope you do too. ;)

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MICHELANGELO

As the sun sank behind the line of the trees, casting a pinkish glow across the ground, I figured it was finally safe to open the blinds again. Leo was still asleep, lying on his stomach with a pillow clamped over his head so I didn't think he would mind- that is if he hadn't smothered himself already.

Raph, Donny and I had been downstairs talking to April and Casey for about an hour, discussing battle plans while we left Leo alone. Actually, it was more like April and Don talked about how they could use their computer skillage to find Sheer and attack while Raph brooded, muttering sarcastic comments to Casey.

Then Master Splinter had joined us. Donny suddenly seemed to lose interest in the conversation and said he was going to check on Leo, so I followed him. I don't know if it's just me, but Don seemed a little pissed at our Sensei. The poor old rat was really having a bad day with us, but then again we are teenagers and it's about time we started holding grudges against our parent.

So that's how I found myself sitting at the window with my Gameguy, glancing up after a while to find Donny had fallen asleep in the same position he'd been sitting in for hours against the wall by Leo's bed.

Somehow I think Donny was taking this whole thing personally. Right up there with Leo, he's the one constantly aware of how we're doing. He's our doctor and everything after all, and he's never failed us-obviously, we're still alive. But then, I don't know if _he_ knows that. I don't think he feels that way about Leo anyways.

Don's pretty much taken it upon himself to be our oldest brother's protector for now. Since Leo woke up, Donny has hardly taken his eyes off him. When anyone suggested what to do with Leo, Don was on his side, making sure it's what would be best for Leo.

It's kind of funny how we've all done a complete backside 540 Mctwist with our ailing older brother. After the whole 'defeating the evil blob in his head' thing, we've all been doing what we should have done weeks ago to prevent this from happening at all. Raph's been taking more of a leadership role while forcing Leo to face his. Don's been trying to look at Leo in less of a medically defined type of way and as more of a brother who's going through a hard time emotionally and needs a friend.

I don't know if I've helped at all really, so it's a good thing my bros finally brought out their A-game. I mean even in that alternate reality…Leo had saved my life. No matter what, he's always looked out for me. I kinda wish I could do it for him, just once.

About the time that the light from the sun was too weak to illuminate the screen of my handheld, Don jerked awake and rubbed his bleary eyes, immediately looking over where Leo was still asleep. I tossed my game aside and walked over to where he was sitting against the wall. "What's up, Doc?" I asked brightly.

My brother gave a half smirk as he looked up at me. "Nothin', Mikey." Don was never good at hiding his own feelings. He was tired, yeah, but that didn't explain the worried look in his eyes on waking up.

"Chyeah, right, Bro." I sat down, cross legged in front of him. "Your butt's gotta be asleep or something. What were you doing _before _you fell asleep in that really awkward position?"

He smiled again, more genuine this time. "I was just thinking." He shrugged.

"When aren't you?" I asked, raising an eye-ridge.

Finally, I got a full blown smile. "Never, I guess."

When he didn't add anything more, I leaned back on my hands. "What were you thinking about for that long?"

"You ever think about how things used to be?" Don asked, suddenly sheepish and very interested in a crack on the wood floor.

"'Course I do." I shrugged. "Why?"

"You miss it?" Donny's voice was quiet, contemplative.

"Sometimes…" I said slowly, raising an eye-ridge. "What's up, Donny? You're kinda freakin' me out."

"Sorry." He smiled, brushing it off. "I'm just tired I guess. Had a weird dream."

Again- what a sucky liar. "Okay…"

"Smells like April's cooking." Don said randomly.

This kid needed a break… "Yeah…you should go talk to her. I heard her calling you earlier, but you were asleep." I, on the other hand, can be a good liar … unless it's Sensei asking.

"Really?"

I nodded in reply."She had a question about that…Al Gore Isthmus thing you were talking about."

"Algorithm, Mike." Donny sighed, glancing at Leo. "Call me if he wakes up."

"I'll stay right here." I assured.

"Thanks." He nodded shortly and climbed down the stairs.

I turned to face the bed where Leo still lay unconscious. The pillow had slipped from his grip, leaving part of his face exposed. At least he could breathe without obstruction now… I sat closer to him, casting glances toward the banister, making sure no one was coming up. Now I'm not afraid to show emotion like my oldest brothers, I just wanted some time alone with him…though I can't say exactly why.

I'd lied to Don. I thought about the past all the time, especially since the Shredder had gone. I missed it a whole lot. Everything had been so easy then. Leo had been more of an older brother, less of a leader. He'd been my friend. We had all been friends. The biggest argument any of us could get into was over the remote and even then we'd settle it with a chicken fight and move on.

Our biggest threats were going topside and meeting Raph's infamous albino alligator. Now we had Karai, Bishop, Stockman, Purple Dragons, the mob…aliens even! And there were always more freaks willing to pick up the job of 'evil-doer' every day.

I'm 17 years old. I shouldn't have to worry about losing my family every day. It really sucks, you know? Growing up has zero benefit. Human teenagers are looking forward to driver's licenses, college, getting out on their own, jobs… I don't have to think about that, and I don't want to, really. We're pretty much free. My brothers and what we have now are all I need. Too bad I'm pretty sure no one else thinks that but me.

When we were kids, we made a pact- that we'd be there for each other forever. So we were six and playing commandos, what difference does it make? I still want that.

Didn't think I could get that deep, did you?

I don't usually because it's just a drag. Make the most with the time you have-that's what I'm doing…I just want it to be a long, looong time-with my brothers.

For that to happen, this whole mess needed to end.

A sudden chill swept through the room and I stiffened, snapping out of my thoughts. The windows were closed, letting in only a view of the quickly blackening sky, but no wind. I turned back to Leo. Whether from the cold or something else, he'd curled onto his side, hand clenching the sheets under him, a pained expression lining his face. A cold fist suddenly gripped my heart and I realized what was happening. _No…Leo!_

I was about to call for Donny, Raph, anyone, but my mouth wouldn't work. I tried to stand, but fell to my knees, lacking the strength. What was going on?! _Don't panic, Mikey_…Some rational voice said in the back of my mind. I didn't recognize it- I don't think I'd ever used it before, but now seemed as good a time as ever to start listening.

I opened my eyes and looked up. A dark mist was clouding my vision, and I wasn't sure I was really seeing what I thought I was. Leo was grappling with something, black and ominous…and eerily familiar. Then it began to take shape- a human shape. An old guy suddenly took the monster's place. I really wasn't liking this dream…was it a dream? I didn't even remember how I'd gotten here. What was going on?

Why couldn't I move?!The voice was back in my mind again, directing me. How had we beaten this thing last time? Oh yeah…meditating. Why did that always have to be the answer?

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block out the paralyzing cold that was slowly creeping across my body. Running through every step Master Splinter had ever tried to teach me about meditation, I began to relax despite the situation. I didn't know where I was anymore. I just had one goal in mind. _I'm here, Leo…__hold__ on._

"Mikey?" My eyes snapped open at the hoarse whisper.

I looked around in confusion, finding myself lying on the rough wooden floor of the loft. Lifting my head, which felt like a ton of bricks, I was able to look up and meet the deep brown eyes of my oldest brother who was crouching in front of me. "What happened?" I asked, pushing myself up to my knees with Leo's help. My body felt like it had been buried under lead bricks and I leaned forward, resting my hands on my thighs as I waited for the room to stop spinning.

When I didn't get an answer, I lifted my head to see Leo was staring at me in a way he never had before. I was taken aback by the look in his eyes. I don't quite know what it was…a mix of confusion, shock, anger, compassion…? He seemed to be struggling to control his feelings. His chest rose and fell rapidly. Leo opened his mouth to speak, but promptly shut it and looked away, his eyes shining with…what must have been tears, but that wasn't possible, because I'm pretty sure Leo doesn't have tear ducts.

I just sat there, unsure of what to do. I was completely confused without any idea of what was going on, but that look… "Leo?" I finally questioned cautiously. "What-?"

He finally met my eyes again, his were still glinting with excess water, but he'd gained his composure back. "Thank you, Mikey." He whispered.

"What did I do?" I asked after a second.

Leo _actually_ laughed- A real genuine, heart-felt laugh. It was short and choked, but it was there. I'd almost forgotten what it sounded like… He put a hand on my shoulder, sobering. "You saved my life, Mike."

My eyes widened slightly. I suddenly remembered seeing that old man fighting with Leo, and then I'd meditated or something, but that was it. "I did?"

"Yes." He smiled, letting out a breathy laugh. "That's all you need to remember."

A smile finally split my face. "Okay." I nodded, still confused, but willing to accept his request. That was easier than thinking anyways.

"Is everyone downstairs?" Leo asked, more like his old self than ever. I nodded, still in a state of semi-shock. He grinned. "Come on, it's time to go home." He helped me up, only limping slightly himself now.

"Home?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

Something flashed in his eyes and he smiled. "I know where Sheer is."

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A/N: Finally some more action is coming up! Review! Please! I beg you... 


	23. March On

A/N: This is the last filler chapter you'll get from me in this story. After this it's all fun and games again, meaning torture and angst... :D So, enjoy this little bit of relaxation before the storm!

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LEONARDO

"You alright?" I asked Mikey as we started down the steps. He seemed to be gripping the railing pretty tightly and he still had a dazed look in his eyes.

I couldn't blame him if he wasn't okay. I was still shaky myself, my own knuckles turning a paler shade as I gripped the banister for support, not just as a crutch.

"For the tenth time, Bro. Yes." My little brother groaned in exasperation. "I wish you would just tell me what happened." I should have known he wouldn't accept my explanation of 'you saved my life' and leave it at that.

"No, you really don't."

"Uh, actually-."

"Michelangelo," I interrupted with an annoyed drawl, "don't ask me again."

He smirked, his eyes sparkling with their familiar jollity.

My forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What?"

"Nothin', Dude." Mike grinned, "Nothin' at all…"

Still puzzled at his reaction, I found that I was smiling despite myself. "O-kay…" I shook my head and faced down the stairs again to see Donny advancing on our little brother.

"Mikey, April didn't call m- Leo!" He caught sight of me and stopped. "Feeling better?"

"You have no idea." I muttered under my breath, hobbling to a vacant armchair.

"Because you won't tell me!" Mike whined. I turned to give him a warning glare and he held up his hands. "I wasn't asking. I'm safe."

"What's going on?" Donny asked, walking over to join Raph and Casey on the couch.

"That's a good question, Leo." It's a testament to how much Mikey had saved me that I wasn't throttling him already. For one, my temper was actually in check, and for another I owed him enough to not shut him up. Actually, for the first time in a long time I was seeing my youngest brother's antics as amusing instead of aggravating.

I just smiled.

"He knows where Sheer is." Mikey unsurprisingly spilled in an attempt to get everyone else to gang up on me as well.

It worked.

"What?" Raph was the first to jump up. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Well Mikey knew so I figured it was only a matter of time before-."

"Leo!" My red-clad brother was staring at me with an expression comprised of surprise and confusion.

"It only just happened, Raph. I came down here as soon as I knew." I assured.

"Wait, how did this happen? You didn't…you didn't try to get into his head alone, did you?" Donny asked hesitantly.

"No." I said quickly.

"We were attacked." Count on Mikey….

"In a…manner of speaking." I stumbled over my words, trying to ignore the shocked looks that adorned everyone's faces.

"Like you were possessed in a manner of speaking?" Raph shot back.

"Touché." Mikey grinned. I rolled my eyes.

"Is this true, my son?" Master Splinter approached me, concern etched into his brow.

"Yes, but obviously, everything's okay… Mikey saved me." I ended quietly, lifting a hand to motion briefly toward my little brother who suddenly stood up straighter in a superman-esque fashion.

"He what?" Raph's voice was monotone, doubtful.

Donny glanced at our baby brother like he expected him to break out in blue spandex at any second. "How?"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Mikey threw up his hands, suddenly giving up on his proud posture. "Why won't you tell me?"

Because you're the last person I would want to have nightmares…

"Do the words 'Battle Nexus' mean anything to you?" It might have sounded ungrateful, but eventually, Mikey would just accept that he'd been a hero and make up his own story. I'd still owe him for the rest of my life.

"Touché." It was Raph's turn to grin.

"So where's Sheer?" Don asked, always the one pulling us back on task.

I gave him a grateful look before answering. "Central Park."

"'Scuse me? The big, massively huge attraction in the middle of New York is where this guy is hiding? Does he by chance have a little dancing monkey?"

"All I know is, at night, he goes there. It's where he trains the Foot. Other than that, I don't know where he lives, what he eats, or what his favorite color is, Mikey."

"I was suggesting it as a disguise, not a pet." He shrugged.

"So what now?" Raph asked.

"We know where to find him, but we need a plan." Don sat back, already starting on one I'm sure.

"You all need to train." Splinter added, his hands perched delicately on top of his staff.

"What? We're good to go." Mikey scoffed. "We beat the snot out of this thing once already…me twice." And so it starts…

Raph raised an eye-ridge. "What fight were you watching?"

I rubbed my eyes wearily, fending off a slight headache, though much less painful than the previous ones that had been plaguing me.

"Leo?" Donny's voice was much softer.

I dropped my hand and surveyed my brothers and Sensei around me. "Take my word for it- he's going to come back stronger. What happened with Mike and me just managed to piss him off a lot more. He's underestimated us until now. He won't anymore. We can expect him to throw everything he has at us next time. And I mean _us_. He's going to target each of you now." I suppressed the shudder that threatened to run through me.

Mikey's heroic posture had deflated into scanning the room nervously as if looking for some demonic being that could jump down his throat. "You mean…we could get possessed?"

If only he knew…

I tried to quell his fears as much as I could. "I don't know if he'd go that far, but it's a possibility."

"I'm wondering why he hasn't tried it already." Donny questioned thoughtfully.

"Sheer had his foot in the door with me before, not you. That's all changed now." Sensei caught my eye, piercing me with his penetrating gaze. I had to look away. I missed the shocked expression that quickly passed over his features.

"So what do we have to do?" Raph asked, almost effectively hiding the apprehension in his tone.

"Don't tell me." Mikey heaved an exasperated sigh. "We have to meditate."

"Unless Master Splinter knows another way…" I shrugged a shoulder, smiling apologetically. "Sorry, Bud."

"Not constantly." Donny clarified. "Just enough to fortify our minds, right?"

Sensei nodded. "As always, it will be included in your daily training. However, we shall now practice it in each session."

"A meditation a day keeps the psycho away." Mikey quipped in a falsely bright voice.

"So are we going home?" Raph asked, his hopeful eyes betraying an otherwise emotionless tone.

Master Splinter turned to me. "If Leonardo feels he is ready and able." His eyes were studying me again but I held his gaze and nodded.

"Let's go home."

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A/N: Please review! Please!!! Only a few more to go now. 


	24. Straightjacket Feeling

A/N: I lied, I apologize. I just had to write this part. No one saw the last chapter anyways, so here's this one- it's actually my longest yet, go figure. I swear on my snowboard that the next one has action... But please read and review!!

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RAPHAEL 

"Don, what are you doing up?" I asked, stopping near my brother who was standing at the railing overlooking the lair below.

The faraway look in his eyes was answer enough. It had been three days since our return home and instead of that being a comforting thing, everyone was on edge. I've never seen us train so hard before. Granted, the tension between us was nearly non-existent, which was definitely a nice change, but then the apprehension hanging in the air made it harder to breathe.

"Raph," Donny started quietly, still staring off into space, "Have you been getting headaches recently?" He didn't ask in that usual inquisitive way I was used to. Instead his voice was hesitant and small.

Caught off guard, I didn't answer for a minute. My brother turned to me, suddenly looking very young. Finally, I gathered my thoughts and leaned casually on the railing next to him. "You need to stop psyching yourself out, Donny."

"I'm not built for this, Raph. How am I supposed to fight against something I can't see?"

"Don," I rolled my eyes and turned my body to face him, "out of every single one of us, you have the best mind. That has to count for a lot more in this fight than I could contribute with brute strength. If anyone should be worried, it's not you, it's me."

Thoughtfully, Donny cocked his head, staring at a spot on the floor. There's the brother I recognized. "You might be right." He mumbled, I'm not sure if it was to himself or not.

"Yeah, so be careful around me, alright? My mood swings are harder to detect." I said dryly.

A small smile broke through. "Sorry, I'm sure we'll all be fine, Raph. I guess I was just freaking out about this dream. It took a lot for Leo to get to where he was. It's not plausible that we would be susceptible to that level of influence at such an early stage."

I stared at him for a minute before the words finally worked themselves out in my head. "Yeah. Sure." I nodded absently, trailing off into a silence that was soon broken by a fearful yell.

"MIKEY!"

"What the-?" Donny and I glanced at each other for a split second before running into the room where the scream originated. I entered first, only to find the room dark and still. Then I turned to look at the bed.

"Leo?" Don called softly. My brother didn't move from where he was laying with his shell to us.

I sighed loudly, crossing my arms over my chest. "Bro, I know you're awake."

Leo let out a low groan as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, pulling up his knee and resting his elbow on it. He dropped his head into his hand as he turned to look at us. "This sucks." He said simply.

"Why is it always, Mike?" Donny asked, sitting at the foot of Leo's bed.

I raised an eye-ridge in surprise. "How many times has this happened?"

As usual, he ignored me. "Because a possessed Mikey would be like living with a Chuckie doll."

"And the real reason?" We locked eyes in a stare down. I would have won if not for our little brother's dramatic entrance.

Mikey skidded into the room, stopping just beside me and looked around before bowing deeply- or curtsying. It's hard to tell with Mikey. "You rang?" Leo dropped his arm and let his head smack into his knee.

Go figure I should try to make life easy for my older brother…"I'll ring your neck if you play The Exorcist one more time." I threatened.

"I was studying!"

"There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear from you."

Leo tossed his blanket aside and sat on the edge of his bed next to Donny, rubbing his forehead. "It's nothing, Mikey, go back to bed. You just gave Raphie here a nightmare."

"And he came to Lee Lee for comfort. How sweet." Mikey cooed. He always seemed to play along, even when I know he wasn't stupid enough to believe the story.

"Bed, Mike. Go." Leo ordered tiredly.

"Why do they get to stay up?"

"Are we the Cleavers?" Leo groaned in annoyance. "Get out. Now. They were just leaving." He gave me a warning glare.

Don was the first to leave with a quiet, "Goodnight…"

Mikey let out a childish moan on not having an excuse to stay anymore. He stomped outside, leaving Leo and I alone.

"That meant you too, Raph." He sighed heavily, pushing himself back onto his bed and throwing his blanket back over himself.

I stood my ground. "You and dreams aren't a good mix, Leo. I want to know what it was."

My brother growled as he reluctantly threw the blanket off again and stood up, suddenly bearing down on me. The few days had obviously done wonders for his injuries. His limp was barely perceptible and allowed him to look half-threatening again. He stared down at me for half a minute before speaking in a low tone. "Raph…if Mikey finds out about this, I will skin you alive."

* * *

"Frickin' a, Leo!" I growled, grabbing the side of my head while I waited for the stars in front of my eyes to disappear. "What was that? Donny told you no kicking."

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't be ready for it." He instructed calmly. _Self-righteous, little-…_Well at least Leo was Leo again. "_Mikey_ might as well have put a 'kick me' sign on your shell for how well you were defending yourself."

I stopped and nodded shortly. "Fine…"

"What did I do?" Mikey paused in his spar with Donny to ask.

"Nothing." Leo and I replied, still staring at each other and missing his yelp of surprise as Don leapt at him and knocked him to the ground.

"Take a break." Our older brother sighed, walking stiffly to the edge of the room and sitting against the wall.

"You tired?" I taunted, following him without sitting down.

"I was in a coma this week, what's your excuse?" He countered dryly.

"His excuse is you were kicking his sorry shell!" Mikey grinned, sprawling himself across the floor next to us. He gave a pained, "Oof!" as I accidently knocked a rack of practice weapons across his stomach.

Donny rolled his eyes as he helped pick up the wooden staffs that had fallen on him. "He's not wrong, Raph. Either you've gotten worse, or Leo's gotten better."

"I'm doin' the best I can here. Fearless over there is cheating."

Leo glared at me. "How am I supposed to cheat in a spar, Raph?"

"You're pulling moves I've never seen before! Either that psycho endowed you with his fighting style or you're using that freaky mind thing on me."

Leo scoffed unconvincingly and shook his head, suddenly interested in fixing the band on his wrist.

"Hold up…" Mikey said slowly, sitting up once free of the wooden rack. "Is he right, Leo?"

My eyes widened when my brother hesitated. "You've gotta be kidding me!" I cried.

Leo dropped his hands and sighed. "No, I'm not using 'the freaky mind thing' and no I didn't somehow gain Sheer's skills… I've just fought him enough to learn a thing or two. What do you think I was doing the whole time I was unconscious? I was getting the crap kicked out of me, by him."

"The jedi trick was a funner explanation." Mikey muttered.

"Speaking of which, remember you've got to guard your mind even when you're fighting. That's how he got to me in the first place."

"You realize you're asking Mikey to do two things at once?" I chuckled, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall of the dojo.

"I'm asking all of you to." Leo gave me a hard look and I was spared coming up with a response by the entrance of Master Splinter.

"You did well, Leonardo." He praised with what was almost a smile.

"Thank you, Sensei." Leo replied, bowing his head briefly.

"Did what well?" Mikey asked quizzically.

"You've been trying to get into his mind while we were practicing?" Donny suggested, though he sounded pretty sure of himself. Splinter nodded in answer.

"And you're all next." If I didn't know him better, I would say Leo had on a sadistic smile at the prospect.

* * *

DONATELLO

"Well, now that you've turned us all into pill-popping junkies- what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Thank you, Dr. House." Leo grinned, taking a glass of water from me and sitting back at a chair in my lab.

"You're taking too much pleasure from our pain." I groaned, gingerly lowering myself into a seat across from him.

"I'm not." He shrugged, spinning the glass between his fingers. "I'm just glad you guys are more prepared now. It makes me worry just a little bit less."

"Did we have to rush it like this? I mean we haven't had a regular practice in weeks. I'm sore in places even I didn't know could hurt. Not to mention the whole head thing feels just plain weird."

"Be grateful you escaped the migraines." Leo muttered. "Besides, we have to move fast. It's taking too long already. Sheer has to be planning something in retaliation. He could strike any day, and I'd like to have the advantage of starting the fight on our own terms this time."

We fell into silence for a minute, looking around at the darkened lair, lit only by the lamp over us and the flickering TV screen across the room. Raph and Mikey were watching a movie- some cheap action flick instead of the horror movies our baby brother had been 'studying.'

"April called today." I finally said.

"Oh yeah? What did she say?" I could tell Leo was only trying to sound interested.

"She wishes she could be here to help."

My brother shook his head. "Too dangerous."

I sighed heavily, "I know…I'm just starting to feel like we could use all the help we could get."

"We're gonna be fine, Donny. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you guys."

"I know." I muttered, picking up a half-finished project that I can't even remember the purpose of anymore.

"For knowing so much, you sure don't seem confident about this." Leo smiled comfortingly.

"Why do I get the feeling you and Raph know something I don't?" I looked up once I had finished speaking to find my brother's expression had changed to one of a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.

"It's nothing, Don." He shrugged quickly, trying to cover up his slip.

"You know I'm not stupid."

"It has nothing to do with the upcoming fight, I swear."

I leaned forward and whispered, "It's about Mikey, isn't it?"

Leo glanced toward the couches where our little brother was sitting. He let out a long breath and finally met my eyes again. "Yes."

"About what went on in the loft the other day?" He simply nodded in response. "I should know."

"No." Leo said firmly.

"If it could affect our plans I need to know."

"It won't."

"How do you know that?"

"I won't let it."

"Leo," I sighed, "would you at least tell him? He should know."

He shook his head, staring at his hands resting on the table. "He's the last person I'd tell."

I leaned forward more, trying to catch his eye. "You need to stop protecting us."

Leo suddenly gritted his teeth and slammed his fist on the table. "I haven't been. That's why this whole thing happened." He snapped. Though quiet, the emotion in his voice wasn't lost on me.

I paused for a minute, looking into his pain-filled eyes. "No…_that's_ why this happened." He narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Drop it, Leo. We're brothers. The sole purpose of that title is to have an excuse to heap your life onto someone else. Granted, you've gotten better lately, but honestly, you still suck at it."

"You sound like Raph." He sighed.

"He's not always an idiot."

"I'm trying, Don…" Leo shut his eyes briefly before looking up at me again. "If I tell you what happened, will you at least try to understand where I'm coming from?"

I nodded.

* * *

LEONARDO

Sleep had been eluding me for hours now. My mind was spinning too quickly with thoughts of the attack plan, what would happen if we failed, if something went wrong…

Tonight…that's when we planned to do this. Master Splinter still didn't think we were ready. I have to say I agree with him, but waiting any longer is just as dangerous. He reluctantly agreed with me on the grounds that we really couldn't improve much more anyways given the nature of the being we were about to face.

This all hinged on me now. If I was wrong about the timing, we were dead. If I couldn't complete my end of the plan, we were also dead. But if we waited…we would probably still die. Heck if we were successful, there was no guarantee that we would all survive the fight. The future's looking pretty bleak right about now actually.

There was still the threat of Sheer attempting to attack one of my brothers. Donny assured me his recent headaches were nothing more than his own imagination. I don't think Raph would tell anyone if he had them… and although Mikey has caused his fair share of them, I don't know if he's ever actually had a headache before. But his pain threshold is so low, that I'm sure I'd notice if he was having them now.

What's worse, I don't know if that's even necessarily a symptom. We'd only assumed that because of my own eternal migraine. Then again, I've been cursed with headaches my entire life. It might not happen at all for my brothers. What if Sheer broke them down with no telling signs whatsoever?

But I should have more faith in them…There were two aspects to this battle: physical and mental. I'm not worried about the physical fighting. We'd been raised as warriors. It was second nature to us to adjust to a fight. Which leads me to the mental part… the more second nature we could make our fighting, the more we could concentrate on protecting our minds, which was a challenge it itself. My brothers really had improved by leaps and bounds in meditating, however. Mikey, despite his loathing for the task, had actually gotten pretty darn good at it. I know first-hand he can pull it off when it really counts, and I guess that's all that matters. Still, I can't help but worry.

I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand above my head. 6 o'clock pm... We were planning to leave at 10 under the cover of darkness as we headed for the soon-to-be battlefield, Central Park. We had adjusted our sleeping patterns to be most alert at that time. I guess I haven't quite gotten there yet.

I groaned and turned over onto my stomach, staring into the darkness. I could hear Donny's soft snores from the bunk over my head. He'd been sleeping up here again since our return. It was kind of comforting in a way…

Breathing deeply, I forcibly stopped the thoughts swirling inside my head. If I wanted to lead my family in this fight for our lives, I needed to get at least some sleep. An image flashed across my mind and I held onto it…the image of my brothers and me after we had defeated Sheer the first time-what now seemed like ages ago, but had happened only a short week before.

If everything went okay, we'd have that celebration again. All of us, together. My eyes finally slid shut as I drifted off to sleep.

It seemed like only an instant later when a soft knock came at my door. Moaning softly, I opened my eyes to see Master Splinter entering solemnly. "It is time, my sons."


	25. It Ends Tonight

A/N: Mkay, people. I finally got to the action. I know I've dragged it out, but the moment is here. And snap, was it fun. I hope you enjoy this as much as i did!!! Review please!!

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MICHELANGELO

I landed on the edge of the roof across from Central Park after everyone had already arrived. Leo was already scanning the park as a General would a battlefield, eyes flitting back and forth, analyzing structures and weak points. I was tempted to make a crack about some Splinter Cell reference, but even I could feel the seriousness of the situation and kept my mouth shut.

Raph gave me a look like he wanted to ask what had taken me so long, but he also held his tongue. I'm glad too. All this training hadn't left me feeling too hot. I was sore all over and the bruise on the side of my head hadn't stopped throbbing from when Raph had actually managed to land a punch for once in his life. It reminded me of why I avoided getting near my violent brother at all when we sparred.

Everyone shared nervous looks, except for Leo of course. Donny seemed more nervous than anyone. I'm guessing that's because this was probably the only planned assault we had carried out without using a clever diversion or trick of technology that he'd come up with. This was straight up Command and Conquer.

"So…we just go out there? Call him out old west style? Or maybe like West Side Story?" I asked quietly, peering over the parapet to the park that spanned out in front of us.

"He knows we're here." Leo said darkly. His eyes were fixed on a spot in front of us, but following his eye line, I couldn't see a thing out of place.

Donny bit his lip and turned to Leo. "Should we be doing it like this?"

"It's the only way, Don. There's no turning back now." He sighed. "He knows too much about us. He's too smart."

"I wish Master Splinter were here." I muttered to myself.

Somehow, Leo heard. Though almost black in the night, his eyes had a soft look to them as he glanced down at me. "He was right to stay, Mikey. This isn't his fight as much as he would like it to be."

_It's not exactly mine either, but here I am._ If Leo had just told me how I had beaten this guy, maybe I wouldn't be so nervous about it. But here we were going up against the psycho that had crushed my oldest brother, the rock, into rubble, and no amount of practice could prepare us emotionally for this.

I snapped out of my thoughts to see Leo staring intently at me. "I could do it alone." How had he-? Had he just…?

"We're not going anywhere," Raph assured, placing a hand on Leo's shoulder, "_any_ of us." He added, giving Donny and me a look that said we didn't have a choice in the matter. Which was fine…I mean, I promised a long time ago I wouldn't abandon my brothers, but that didn't mean I couldn't be a little apprehensive about fighting the guy that could take over my head _and_ cut it off.

Donny straightened, his face showing the determination of a sea captain- the same look he got when a project was giving him trouble and he decided to stick it through no matter what. "You ready?" He asked Leo in a much calmer voice than before.

I admired the way my brothers could do that. You see, Don can put his emotions aside to concentrate on something until it's done. Raph channels his emotions- usually of the 'pissed off' variety- into getting done what he needs to. Leo can control his emotions to the point where you can't even tell he has them. Me? I dunno… I certainly couldn't do anything about this anxiety eating a hole in the pit of my stomach- that is, except putting my faith in my brother.

Leo turned back to face the park, his shoulders rising and falling as he took in a deep breath. "As I'll ever be." He finally answered. With one final glance in my direction, he placed a foot on top of the parapet. "Let's go." A second later he had dropped out of sight.

Donny jumped just after, leaving Raph and me alone on the rooftop. "You alright?" The gruffness gone, Raph sounded almost concerned.

"Yeah." I nodded quickly. "Come on." I placed a hand on the ledge and vaulted myself over the side of the roof, using the fire escape to slow my descent. The sound of Raph clambering down after me came only a second later.

We caught up with Donny and Leo who were waiting in a cluster of trees across the street. My oldest brother had his arms folded across his chest, looking impatient.

"Alright," Leo started quietly, "we can expect an ambush to be waiting somewhere around here. Be alert."

"So we're just going to walk into it?" Leo shot me a look and I shrugged, adding quickly, "Sounds like a good idea to me. I say go for it."

"Everyone keep an eye out so we can spot it and _avoid_ it." Leo clarified. "Don, Raph, scout ahead. We want to make our way toward the north side of that lake. It's heavily wooded, but that will work to our advantage if there's a lot of Foot involved. Call if either of you run into trouble. We'll meet you back here in ten."

My brothers nodded and disappeared into the trees without a sound. "What are we doing?" I asked, turning to Leo who was staring in the direction they had left in. The moon was full tonight, and through the branches of the trees overhead, it cast a fractured pattern of white light across his body and the ground. It gave everything a slightly eerie feel.

Leo finally sighed and dropped his arms, facing me with a grave look. "Mikey, are you alright?"

"Why is everyone asking me that?" I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Leo. It's you we should be worried about here."

"You're scared." He said simply. It wasn't demeaning, just a statement of fact.

"Don't tell me you're not." I scoffed.

The moonlight exaggerated the shadows on his face as a small smile curved at the corner of his mouth. "More than I've ever been, but you're not supposed to know that." Leo's smile faded and he let out a short breath. "Mikey, you were right. You've beaten him twice before, okay? You have nothing to be worried about. I need that Battle Nexus bravado tonight, Buddy."

I raised an eye-ridge. "You're giving me permission?"

Leo grinned. "Yes. Show it off for all you're worth, I don't care, just stop worrying so much. We're gonna be fine… I promise, Mikey, I won't let anything happen to you."

I felt a major guilt trip coming on. Even when my brother was about to face his biggest fear, he still tried to protect me. "Uh- this is about you, not me. So I should be telling you that. And I will."

"No," Leo shook his head, casting his eyes to the leaf-strewn ground. "You were right, this isn't your fight. It's mine."

I gaped. "No, no! It's all of ours, Leo, I never _said_ that-." Don and Raph's arrival cut me off from explaining anymore- which sucks. I _had_ _thought_ that for a brief second, but it wasn't true! It was a moment of doubt, of weakness, but I knew I could never be anywhere else but here, at my brother's side. I'd fight for him no matter what. I always think some stupid thing, but that didn't mean that's what I really believed. Like I said before, my emotions are kind of everywhere and I don't have much control over them.

The last thing I wanted was for Leo to think I didn't want to be here helping him. Besides, this fight really did include all of us now, didn't it? We were all at risk, but Leo was still my main focus here. From what I remembered about the attack at the loft- even in that brief moment- the feeling that psycho gave off and the look in my brother's eyes and he tried to fight him off…I would never forget that, and I didn't want Leo to have to go through that ever again. I didn't want any of my brothers to have to go through that. We were all fighting for each other tonight. I hope Leo knows that…

"I counted at least ten Foot at the edge of the lake about 60 yards ahead." Donny reported.

"Coward, hiding behind his little fungus." Raph's hand went to his sai, pulling it out of his belt and spinning it between his fingers. "We should just take 'em."

"No." Leo said, leaving no room for argument. "We're going to avoid all the fights we can and concentrate on getting to Sheer with as much strength left as possible. Remember, he doesn't have to see you to attack. Start preparing now."

I ran through everything we'd been practicing this past week. Or I tried to at least. Why is it, that when you need it the most, your mind draws a complete blank? My heart pounding in my chest sure wasn't helping me concentrate. Protecting my mind while looking out for a potential ambush and trying to listen to and follow Leo as silently as possible isn't exactly easy. My head was even pounding with the effort.

I suddenly had a bad feeling that things were about to go very wrong.

LEONARDO

I led my brothers by an alternate, Foot-free route toward our final destination. It was weird how that worked actually. I could almost sense more than see when an ambush lay ahead and knew where to go to avoid it. I got a feeling that Sheer wanted it like that. In a sadistic sort of way, he was testing me- forcing me to use the very skill he'd employed against me. It's just a theory of course…I wasn't actively trying to get into anyone's mind. So either they were in mine or…

I didn't really want to think about it too much. Already I was losing focus just wondering about it. And no matter what, I couldn't lose sight of what I had to do tonight- not even for a second. It would be hard enough protecting my own mind, but I felt responsible for the baby brother that had saved my life. I'd promised him I'd protect him, and that's what I would do, in any way I could, physical and mental.

There was just so much riding on this night… The weight of it was almost crushing me.

A warm feeling suddenly enfolded my chest, as if arms had wrapped themselves around me. I stopped for a split second, causing my brothers to halt and look around for the reason. They wouldn't be able to see it, but if they paid attention, maybe they could feel it.

My mind went back to the conversation Sensei and I had before we had parted earlier tonight.

_"I will not be joining you, my son."_

_"I know…"_

_"That does not mean however, that I will not be with you."_

_"…Master?"_

_"Though our bodies may grow weak and part with each other, spirits can remain strong and united. I will aid you in a way more powerful than I could achieve if I were physically present."_

_"Thank you…Father."_

He'd given me a look so full of emotion at that point. It was the first time I'd called him that in…I don't even remember how long anymore. It was too easy to think of Master Splinter as just that- The Master- The one who chastises me for getting upset with Raph, who expects me to lead the family, who forces me to go through insanely complex trials without so much help as a riddle that could only be understood once it was over and done with and provided no help whatsoever. But I was grateful for all that- It made times like this not seem so impossible, or alone.

I hope I lived long enough to tell him that.

"Everything ok, Leo?" Raph asked hesitantly, his voice barely audible in fear of being heard.

I nodded, though he probably couldn't make it out in the dark. "We're almost there, stay close."

With a renewed sense of purpose, I continued moving stealthily between the trees until we came upon a small clearing. I recognized it though I had never been here before.

"This it?" Donny asked, now standing at my side.

I looked around the empty patch of ground, littered with broken branches and the multi-colored leaves of approaching autumn. The moon lit up the area with a surreal glow, making the shadows at the edge of the clearing seem even blacker, but I could still make out the forms of people waiting on the other side.

"Elites." I whispered, drawing my swords in one smooth motion. I heard my brothers drawing their own weapons and waiting with baited breath for someone to make the first move.

I could feel my muscles tightening with the anticipation of every passing second. Adrenaline was flowing through my veins, just waiting for release. All I needed was a flinch, a single twitch…

An Elite shifted, tightening his grip on his bo-like weapon. Like a taut wire, the tension snapped. We charged into the clearing, clashing against each other like waves upon rocks.

It didn't take long to figure out these guys had gotten better since the time we had last seen them. Sheer's training had obviously shifted their technique slightly, making it more smooth, more clean, and more lethal. I'm just glad we had also improved or it would have been a very short battle.

The Elite with the double ended sword took a swipe at my head. I ducked and swung my leg around to take out his feet, but he jumped to avoid it. I had to immediately raise my katana to block his blade from cutting me down the middle. I managed to shove him off and straightened up, eyeing my opponent warily while all the time keeping in mind that Sheer could be watching, waiting for my mental defenses to fall.

His feet shifted so I grit my teeth and braced myself for another attack, letting him come to me. I parried the first blow easily and went on the offensive, backing him toward the shadows at the edge of the clearing. As I leapt to avoid a low swipe, I kicked out my foot and caught the Elite right in his neck, collapsing his trachea. He gagged, one hand going to his throat as he still tried to wield his weapon with the other. The horrible noises of him struggling for breath barely reached my ears through the noises of the battle behind me. I took a step back, watching as his body grew weaker from lack of oxygen. Finally, he sunk to his knees and collapsed into a heap on the floor.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see Foot emerging from the shadows all around us. "Watch your backs guys!" I cried. "We've got some more company."

RAPHAEL

I barely heard Leo's warning in time. The ax-weilding Elite I was facing landed a kick to my stomach, sending me reeling backwards. I ducked just in time to avoid a Foot ninja's blade from behind me. I grabbed his arm in mid-swing and flung him over my shoulder, expecting him to crash into the Elite I had been fighting moments before, but he was gone. I didn't have much time to wonder why. A second later, I was being smothered by a swarm of Foot ninja on all sides.

DONATELLO

For a split second, my 'Elite' opponent was distracted by something to his left. I took advantage of his mistake and knocked his bo to the ground, quickly wrapping my feet around it and twisting so the bo's bladed end would end up slicing my enemy's ankles. But all it met with was air. The coward had disappeared. I always wanted to know how they could do that.

I spun around, expecting to see him behind me, but instead, found I barely had time to raise my own bo in defense as I blocked a Foot ninja's vicious attack. He was soon joined by about ten of his buddies and suddenly I really wished I could disappear like the Elite had.

MICHELANGELO

Everything was happening way too fast. First I had been fighting just the one guy with the triton-looking weapon, and the next thing I knew, I had a total of three Elite ninjas breathing down my neck. Why they had decided to gang up on me, I had no idea. It either meant I they were planning something really mean, or…I was the only one left.

"Mikey!" Leo's frantic call reached my ears above the clashing of metal.

So he was still okay… I didn't have time to see where he was calling from or why. These Elite guys were looking hell-bent on taking my head off for reasons I'm not entirely sure of. The first strike they landed hit me in my left arm, causing a deep gash near my elbow. I grit my teeth and tried to fight through it, but was finding my arm wasn't cooperating as it should have been. More blows started to land until I was so hard pressed just to keep my head on my shoulders that I didn't know which way was up.

A sudden pain flared in my head…So they'd finally managed it. I couldn't believe I'd actually lost. So this was it- this was what it would feel like to die. The next thing I saw was the ground rushing toward my face as I collapsed lifelessly to the ground.

LEONARDO

"MIKEY!" I had turned in time to see him fall. I wanted to rush to his side, but I couldn't. The Foot surrounding me had prevented that. But they couldn't keep me from getting to my brother for long. A surge of adrenaline flooded my system and I fought with renewed energy. Foot were falling to my swords all around me. Suddenly, they stopped coming at me altogether.

Then I saw the reason why. I froze, a cold hand constricting my heart, making it hard to breathe.

Emerging from the shadows was the man that had haunted my dreams for weeks. His wizened face was just as I remembered. His soul-less eyes boring into my own didn't reflect the sinister smile that curved at his thin, cracked lips.

"We meet again, Leonardo." He grinned. His high pitched cackle was like ice water cascading down my spine.

I tightened my grip on the hilts of my swords as if they were my last hold on reality. "Finally decided to face me in a real fight?" I growled, my voice sounding much more confident than I actually felt.

The shadows caused by the deep lines of his face just added to Sheer's menacing appearance as he grinned even more. "You haven't suffered half as much as you deserve yet, young one."

My breath caught in my throat as a black feeling passed over my heart. The light from the moon seemed to cut out suddenly. I turned just in time to receive a solid kick to my temple. Sheer couldn't have moved that fast… from where I fell on the ground, I could still see the old man watching me with sadistic delight in the same spot he had been before.

My head snapped around, expecting to see a ninja standing over me, ready to finish me off.

I didn't expect that ninja to be my baby brother.


	26. Broken

A/N: Thanks so much for the great reviews!!! They totally mean a lot to me. This was supposed to be a half chapter, but I figured it's probably long enough...so enjoy! and please keep reviewing!!

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LEONARDO 

It seemed like an eternity that I stared up at my little brother in shock. His usually bright blue eyes, so full of life and mirth, were now an icy, steel grey. His face, barely accustomed to showing mild dislike, now wore an expression of deepest loathing and disgust. It was hate... Such a harsh emotion did not belong there- not on him.

I finally managed a horrified whisper, finding my voice weak. "Mikey, no…"

What had I done?

RAPHAEL

Despite the sheer number of Foot that had surrounded me, I managed to make pretty quick work of them. It would have been even faster, but they weren't half bad anymore, managing to block more than a few of my attacks.

Now that just served to piss me off. It was that extra boost of motivation that sent those morons flying in all directions. I would have dispatched all of them except for the Elites that had decided to join the party again. Fighting one had been a challenge in itself, but two? I was facing attacks from all sides and running out of breath right quick.

One sai caught a Foot ninja's blade that was swinging at me from behind. My other sai parried an attack from an Elite's sharpened bo staff. I ducked just as the second Elite swung a heavy ax toward my neck. Instead of meeting my own flesh, the cold metal buried itself deep into the abdomen of the Foot behind me.

I took a few quick steps back, surveying my two remaining opponents and giving myself a chance to catch my breath, if only for a second. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Donny battling his own Elite Guard member. I didn't have time to look for the fourth one, but assumed he was with Mikey or Leo. Just before my assailants charged at me, the thought crossed my mind that those numbers didn't add up. Either someone had fallen, or someone else had shown up…

I shuddered inside. Sheer…

I had ignored the dark feeling that passed over me earlier-I always ignored feelings-but now it all made sense. He must be here. My brother was in trouble. I knew it without even seeing him. I had to end this fast and help him. …I guess the whole mind strengthening was actually good for something.

I narrowed my eyes at the two ninjas bearing down on me and flipped one sai to hold it in a stabbing position. They were about to learn what happens when you try to keep us brothers apart.

DONATELLO

The Foot had definitely upped their training recently, I'll give them that much. Unfortunately for them, so had I. Instead of distracting me, holding up my mental defenses was actually helping me to fight. The moves I was pulling off were second nature, requiring little effort on my part.

It wasn't long before I was the only was left standing. Seeing Raph was grappling with more than his fair share of ninja, I moved to join him. Out of nowhere, another Elite appeared in front of me. It was the same one I had been battling before, only he hadn't yet retrieved his bo staff from where I'd knocked it away. That didn't mean he was weaponless however…His alternate choice sent my blood to ice.

Mikey's nun chucks….

My only little brother wouldn't just give up on those. Our weapons were a part of us. If Mikey had ever lost his, you could count on him being no less than two seconds behind the thief, screaming for their return…but Mikey wasn't coming.

My veins, so recently frozen in shock, were now flowing with fire. The Elite would pay…I'd make sure of it.

LEONARDO

I rolled just in time to avoid the thick blade that had been aimed at my heart. Another swing soon after sought to slice through my jugular. I rolled back slightly and kicked out my feet as the edge of the weapon crossed just centimeters in front of my face. The momentum sent me flying to land upright, just behind my little brother who was struggling to remove the sword from where it had lodged itself in the dirt.

Instead of taking advantage of his vulnerable position, I cautiously picked up my swords where they had fallen and backed up slowly. The lethal double ended sword Mikey was now wielding struck me as funny despite the situation. This was the kid we couldn't give a butter knife too lest he find some way to slice himself with it. It's why we'd encouraged his taking to the nun chucks so much. Sure he could smack himself in the head every once in a while when he tried to show off, but at least it would still be attached to his shoulders.

However odd it seemed, I certainly wasn't laughing when Mikey straightened up and spun around to face me with that same look that was so foreign to his soft features. I glanced at Sheer, my own face contorting into a scowl. He really was a coward…or maybe he was just incredibly smart. There was no way I could harm my little brother, and he knew it. I couldn't win this fight.

His cruel grin widened as he realized I'd figured out his plan. I let out a low growl and ran at him, ready to detach that smile from his very face, but Mikey was blocking my path. I stopped dead and took a step back. My little brother started advancing on me instead, swinging the deadly blades between his fingers.

My heart was pounding in my ears. What was I supposed to do!?

"Mikey, I know you're in there. Please, you have to listen to me. You have to fight it, come on!" I cried in desperation.

Mikey's steps didn't falter in the slightest. He broke into a run, charging me with his weapon held high. I managed to block his first savage attack and back peddled away from him quickly. He came at me again. All I could do was fend off his blades. I could defend myself easily enough without hurting him, but I could only keep it up for so long. Sheer would still be there and I would tire out soon enough. There had to be a way to end this. Where were Raph and Don!?

DONATELLO

I'd rarely attacked in anger before. It went against everything I'd been taught all my life. But I was starting to understand why Raph relied on it so much. Such raw emotion was powerful. It fueled me with a fire I'd never felt before and it must have caught the Elite off guard as well. He was on his heels now, hard pressed to block my furious blows.

I was used to fighting against nun chucks. Mikey and I were paired together often in sparring. Oh how I'd give anything to be back in the dojo right now with him. As far as I knew, this Elite had stripped those weapons right from his dead body.

My opponent leapt back to avoid my bo staff as I swung it at him with all the force of Barry Bonds on steroids. He stumbled over an unconscious Foot ninja and I quickly stabbed again, the blunt end of my weapon catching him right in the sternum. Clutching at his chest, the Elite fell back, writhing on the leaf strewn ground. Another quick jab at his temple and the ninja lay still.

Immediately, I looked up to try and spot my brothers, but only managed to duck just in time as an Elite Guard flew past, colliding into a tree with a sickening crunch. Following his trajectory, I found Raph was close by, fighting with his now one remaining opponent. I made quick work of the enemy ninja, catching him off guard from behind as he was focusing on gutting my brother.

"Thanks, Donny." He gasped.

I nodded quickly. "What happened to Mikey and Leo?"

He shook his head we made our way back to the site of the original battle.

The next thing I heard was Raph's soft curse. I followed his line of sight to the far end of the clearing. My jaw dropped.

Our worst fears had been realized.

LEONARDO

I was wearing down and fast. The vicious attacks were relentless, raining down one after another. My breath was coming in short gasps, and not just from exertion. This wasn't really Mikey and yet I couldn't bring myself to fight back. I couldn't even look at him. This was one nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

My cheek suddenly burned as Mike's weapon left a gash across my face. That's when I lost it. I couldn't take this anymore. I ducked another swing and jumped immediately after, spinning in the air and catching the side of Mike's head with the heel of my foot. He stumbled sideways, but I wasn't watching him anymore. He'd be fine; it wasn't him I wanted to kill.

"Sheer!" I raged, turning to face him. "When are you going to stop hiding behind your tricks and face me yourself?!"

The crooked grin spreading across his face was the last thing I saw before it all disappeared in an explosion of white hot pain.

MICHELANGELO

The first thing to pierce through my consciousness was a bone chilling scream of pure agony. It wasn't coming from me…I blinked in confusion. Where was I? The last thing I remembered was fighting those three Elite…so what was I doing holding one of their weapons?

I looked up, shocked to find that the screams were coming from Leo who was writhing on the ground, clutching his head and from the sound of it, ripping apart his vocal chords.

Oh shell…I dropped the bladed weapon like a hot poker. Please tell me that hadn't happened…I couldn't have done that.

Swinging a deadly blade at my brother's throat, stabbing, charging, kicking…Images, like scenes from a nightmare, were flashing across my eyes. The sounds of Leo's suffering were like knives twisting in my chest. I'd hurt him…I'd attacked my own brother.

My legs felt weak. I stumbled backwards until a thick tree stopped my progress and I slid to the ground.

What had I done?

RAPHAEL

I'd never heard my brother scream before…

Don and I had rushed into the clearing just as Mike received a kick to the head and staggered off to the side. A second later, Leo was curled up in the dirt, his tortured yells piercing my chest, suddenly making it painful for me to breathe.

Based on my experience, anger was usually the best way to get over pain. I don't know what triggered Leo's reaction, but I certainly knew who to blame for it. And nothing would give me greater pleasure than to tear him apart.

Donny hurried to Leo's side, kneeling next to him and trying to calm him. Instead of joining them, I cast my eyes to the shadows, finding the glinting eyes of a tall and slender figure waiting there.

Despite the fire raging through my system, I stopped myself. I couldn't let that cloud my head. I couldn't end up like Mikey… This guy deserved to get the royal crap kicked out of him and I was going to be consciously in control of every second of it.

I tightened my grip on my Sais and charged, giving out my own enraged yell. A dull flash glinted off of the man's thick sword and the battle was on.

It wasn't very long…

He narrowly blocked my first assault, probably not expecting the uncharacteristic speed with which I attacked. I almost surprised myself. However, he soon recovered. His counterattacks had me on my heels. I avoided a lethal swipe of his blade, but wasn't quick enough to get out of the way as he used his foot to trip me up.

I fell flat on my shell, instantly raising my sais to block the attack I knew should be coming. But it didn't. I looked up to see Sheer was walking briskly to a nearby tree, the base of which held my little brother who was trembling, unaware of the man approaching him.

I couldn't let Sheer get Mikey again. I leapt up, shouting for his attention, but could he even hear me? I didn't even know if he was still under Sheer's control. "Mikey!" I yelled, raising my sai as I drew closer to the old man now leaning over him. I brought my fist down in a powerful slash toward Sheer's back, but was met with nothing- only air.

They were gone.

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A/N: Obi Won says hi! and he wants you to review... 


	27. Hold On

A/N: Thanks to all the great reviewers!! You guys are totally awesome. For all those reading and not reviewing, thanks for reading! Leave me a note this time and tell me about it! I promise I don't bite.

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DONATELLO

I frantically fell to my knees at Leo's side, trying to get through to him. He was unaware of my presence, continuing to clutch his head in his hands as he locked himself into the fetal position. I tried to move him, but Leo was completely rigid, hoarse screams still escaping his abused throat. I panicked and looked around anxiously as if someone would have the answers I didn't.

I couldn't see anyone at all; not Mikey, not Raph… If not for the seizing brother in front of me, I would have leapt up to find them. Besides the obvious, something was seriously wrong.

Suddenly Leo went limp, his tortured cries reduced to whimpering. His breathing was agonizingly slow, each breath coming in a painful wheeze.

"Leo?" I put a hand on his shoulder, but he still seemed oblivious, shaking feebly. His hands flopped to the ground, slowly curling into weak fists.

In my own panic, I found my breathing had become erratic as well. _Calm down, Donny._ I told myself. _Freaking out isn't helping anyone. Just take a second and breathe._ I lifted my head again and searched the lifeless clearing. Even the Foot seemed to have disappeared. _They retreated,_ I thought, taking deep breaths. That was better than thinking they were regrouping and waiting to ambush us anyways.

"Raph?" I called cautiously. It was a rather pathetic attempt. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Raph!"

A second later, he came tearing out of the shadows, sliding to a stop in front of me and breathing heavily.

"Whoa, what happened?" I asked, looking him over. He seemed okay, but the wild look in his eyes told me otherwise.

"They're gone! He just- and then- they just-." I had no idea what he was saying, but something freaking my older brother out was not a good sign.

"Raph, breathe! What the shell happened?"

He gulped down another lung-full of oxygen. "Just now, Sheer, I was fighting him, he grabbed Mikey and they both disappeared. I dunno what happened!"

Clearly, Sheer was capable of the same disappearing act as the Elite Guard. Where would he have taken our little brother? What on earth could he want with Mikey?! I couldn't panic…_don't panic._

"Why would he take Mikey, Don?" Raph asked, sounding more lost than I've ever heard him before. His gruff edge had retreated, replaced by a rarely used tone of fear.

"Sheer still wants to use him against us. It means he'll be back, Raph. There's nothing we can do for Mikey right now." Maybe there was. What if I was missing something? We couldn't just abandon our little brother. If only Leo would wake up and tell us what to do… He understood more about this entire crisis than the rest of us put together.

"How's Leo?" Raph stopped pacing to look down at our still trembling leader. It made sense that he would switch his focus. Leo was here. We could pretend to do something to help him, to get some sort of answers. With Mikey, we had nothing.

"He stopped screaming a few minutes ago, but he still won't respond to me." I sighed heavily, surveying my oldest brother. Quiet whimpers of pain still slipped past his lips occasionally and he continued shaking weakly.

"I thought Leo was protecting himself, what could Sheer have done to him?" Raph sunk to his knees in front of the quivering body.

I shook my head. I hated not having answers. Letting out a low growl of frustration, I sat back, pulled up my legs, and rested my head on my knee. I just had to think for a minute.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I blocked out the moans of my unresponsive brother and the feelings of hopelessness that were consuming my common sense.

A thought suddenly flashed through my mind. It wasn't mine, I was sure of that, but it seemed familiar somehow.

My eyes snapped open. Raph was watching me curiously. "What?" He asked.

I immediately looked down to Leo. He still had his eyes squeezed shut, just as oblivious as ever, but somehow… "That was weird." I whispered.

"What was?" Raph pushed, getting impatient quickly.

"It was like he was talking to me…"

"Uh…" He didn't have a response to that one. He probably thought I was going crazy. I was almost in agreement. "What did he say?" Raph finally asked, still in a disbelieving tone.

"Hold on." I held up a hand, trying to sort out my own thoughts from the ones I had received. "This is starting to make sense."

"And I'm still lost. Please enlighten me here."

"Sheer was focusing all his power on controlling Mikey. When he attacked Leo-however he did it- all his concentration was on Leo. Mikey wasn't under his control anymore- he ran off by himself. When you attacked Sheer, he couldn't focus everything on Leo anymore, so he had to give up on his attack."

Raph still wore a blank look on his face. "Right…How does this help us?"

"Sheer can't handle so many things at once. If you overload his mind like that, he has to retreat. He took Mikey to use as a shield again. He wants to control him, but he couldn't do it while trying to hurt Leo and with you attacking him. It takes too much out of him."

"Ok, so we know how to wear him down. We still don't know how to find him."

"I…do." The choked whisper was barely audible and yet Raph almost fell back in shock.

"Leo?" I gasped, staring down at him. His eyes were still shut, but he didn't seem to be in as much pain.

"So now you talk. Was the whole showing off with the telepathy really necessary?"

"Do…you have to…talk so loud?" Leo's raggedly hoarse voice almost had me wincing in sympathy. I didn't blame him for not wanting to speak out loud. He feebly raised a hand to his forehead, pressing it between his eyes.

"Sorry, Leo." I said, almost whispering. "What do you mean you know how to find them?"

"Same way…we do everything." He grunted, attempting to push himself up. Raph and I each grabbed an arm as they started shaking violently with the effort. We pulled him into a sitting position, staying close by as he swayed dizzily. He pulled a knee up to his chest and laid his head on it as I had done only moments before. Leo still hadn't opened his eyes.

"You mean meditate?" Raph groaned.

"Don't sound like Mikey." Leo warned. "One possessed turtle is enough."

"Well maybe if we had just told him what went on in the loft, this wouldn't have happened." Raph shot back.

"Don't you think I know that?!" Leo snapped. The rough quality of his voice took away from the harshness of his comment. He grimaced and kept his eyes clamped shut.

"Guys, come on, cut it out. This isn't helping. Leo, we don't know that it would have changed anything so stop thinking about it. Let's just focus on finding Mikey and ending this."

Raph cast his eyes to the ground and nodded, grunting his apology. "So…to find him, we just have to meditate?"

"Not exactly." Leo sighed.

"Then what- exactly- do we do?"

"Every time Sheer tried to penetrate my mind, he built a stronger connection." He swallowed, trying to ease his sandpapered throat. "When Mikey and I were in the loft…we sort of built our own connection with each other. If I can tap that…I can find him."

"You up to it?" I inquired cautiously.

He still didn't look up when he answered. "I don't have a choice. We need to find him now."

"And if Sheer decided to 'tap' his connection with you again?" Raph asked gruffly, his protective tone not lost on me.

"Just shut up for one minute," Leo muttered, ignoring the question. He took a ragged, deep breath. A moment later, he was completely still.

I shared an anxious look with Raph before turning back to our silent brother. It was only a minute later when Leo sucked in a sharp breath and broke into a fit of coughing. I put a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady while he braced himself, leaning forward with his hands on the ground.

"Shell, what did he do to me?" Leo croaked, rubbing his neck.

"You alright?" I asked.

He nodded. "I found Mikey. He's okay for now."

"Where is he?" Raph looked ready to jump up and charge at the word 'go'.

"I have to show you. I don't know the address. They're on the roof of a building nearby."

Great, villains and their dramatic roof-top retreats… I looked over my brother who had not lifted his head from the time he'd regained consciousness. He was still shivering and not from the autumn night's chill. "Leo…I don't know if…I don't think you're up to this." Not that I thought Raph and I could handle Sheer on our own, but I'd feel guilty if I didn't at least try to talk some sense into him.

Leo finally turned to me. His almost black eyes, visible for the first time since we'd found him, were narrowed and filled with fire. He didn't say anything, he didn't really have to.

I shrugged, adding quickly, "I won't stop you. It was just a comment…"

I caught Raph nearly rolling his eyes. "Then let's go fearless. Get up."

Leo hung his head and was silent for a minute.

"That's what I thought." Raph huffed. "Mikey's already in trouble. We can't be looking after your shell too. Just show us where it is. We'll get our brother back and get out."

Leo still wasn't answering. I opened my mouth to say something when I noticed his muscles tensing. The next thing I knew, Leo had stood up by his own strength and was walking toward the edge of the clearing, stopping only to pick up his swords and sheath them across his back.

"Wasn't expecting that." I muttered, getting to my feet and following after him.

"But I'll take it." Raph shrugged, hurrying to catch up.

LEONARDO

No I wasn't 'up to it.'

My hands were shaking. My head was throbbing. My throat felt like I'd swallowed acid. The swords on my back felt like they could have been cinder blocks. I had to steady myself on every other tree as I made my way to the end of the park.

I still had no choice but to fight. It was my fault Mikey had been taken, loft episode aside. Sheer must have sensed the connection between my little brother and me and had jumped on the opportunity to mess with my mind in a whole new way. I had to give him credit for originality.

I swear I hadn't lost focus for a split second, and yet Sheer still managed to cripple me. Obviously I didn't know as much about this whole mind theory as I thought. He hadn't tried to control me when he attacked though. His purpose was pain. He passed that with flying colors.

"Where to now, Fearless?" Raph asked, coming up behind me as we reached the edge of the park.

"Up." I answered simply, nodding to a tall apartment building across the street. Raph took off at once of course, but I didn't stop him. I didn't have the voice to. But he'd be alright. Sheer was waiting for us a few roofs over, probably hiding until all of us showed up.

"That's all Mikey told you?" Donny asked, still standing by my side.

I didn't look at him when I answered. "Mikey didn't tell me anything. He doesn't know the connection exists."

"Then how-?"

"Same way Sheer got information from me." I shrugged. "But I do know Mikey is okay."

"So he's not possessed?"

"I didn't say that." I took off across the street, jumping to land on the fire escape.

Donny landed above me a second later, looking down with a scrutinizing gaze. "We don't have to do this tonight." He said.

I rolled my eyes and leapt up to his level. "What are you talking about?" I asked before continuing to climb.

He caught up easily. "I mean beat Sheer. All we have to do is save Mikey. Then we can go home, try another night." Donny was pleading with me.

I started to climb faster despite the world spinning around me. "Can't do that, Don."

Suddenly he was gripping my arm, holding me still against the railing. "Leo. You are not okay. We can't do _this_." His amber eyes weren't begging anymore, they were commanding.

I opened my mouth and shut it again, looking away briefly before returning his stare. "Donny…I'm not going to survive another night."

His eyes widened as he let go of my wrist. "What?"

I shook my head and kept climbing, suddenly aware of how my muscles protested every movement.

"Leo!" Donny ascended to a spot just above me. "What are you talking about?"

I tried to move around him, but he kept blocking my progress. "Nothing," I snapped. "I just needed something dramatic to say."

"No you didn't. You honestly believe that. Why?"

Ignoring his question, I hauled myself over the railing and started climbing up the steps to get past him. Again I found him standing in my path. "Why does it matter?" I cried, exasperated.

"Because I am not losing a brother tonight, Leo!"

"You're not going to." Sighing, I glanced at the grated floor beneath our feet.

The next thing I knew, I was pinned up against the brick wall of the building by Donny's hand in my chest. "You're right, I'm not." Never in my life had I seen Don act aggressively toward one of us. The night was clearly getting to him. The second my most mellow brother takes on Raph's characteristics is the time we need to have a serious talk. Too bad we didn't have time.

I shut my eyes briefly, letting out a long breath. "All I meant was this is taking too much out of me. Every day that Sheer's out there he keeps wearing me down. If I wait any longer, there's not going to be anything left." My brother dropped his hand, sighing. "It's now or never, Don. This ends tonight."

He nodded silently.

"Guys, what is taking you so long?!" Raph called from the roof.

"Keep it down, Raph!" Donny yelled back. I smiled and started climbing again, but stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Don't be a hero, Leo. We're all going home when this is over."

I flashed a grin. "But that's all I know how to be."

He just shook his head, rolled his eyes and finished leaping to the top of the building.

I arrived soon after, using strength I didn't know I had left. I noticed I wasn't feeling entirely sick anymore as we started off across the roof. I don't know how this happened, but I'm not complaining either. Of course I wasn't exactly sure what had happened to me to begin with, so as far as I knew, spontaneous recovery was normal.

I motioned for my brothers to stop when we came in view of the building where Sheer was concealed. "Raph, Don, your job is to get Mikey to safety. I'm going after Sheer."

"Alone?" Raph asked incredulously.

"Donny explained how Sheer's mind can be overloaded, right?" After his look of shock had passed, he nodded. "Alright then, so you get Mikey, and I'll attack Sheer, that should free him from Sheer's control. After that, you can help me fight."

"I'm not leaving you open to an attack like he pulled back there." Raph crossed his arms defiantly. "Donny can handle Mikey. I'm helping you."

I sighed, biting my lip. I didn't have a counterargument, and he was right about the attack. I didn't want to have to be the victim of something like that again either. "Fine. Don, you okay with Mikey?"

My brother hesitated, forehead furrowing in apprehension. "Yeah…I can handle it."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Just play defense on this one. It shouldn't take us long to distract Sheer enough for Mikey to break free."

Donny nodded, setting his brow in determination.

"Alright, let's get this over with." Raph grunted.

I looked between my brothers and nodded, leading the way to the spot where I knew Sheer was waiting. I stopped us one building over and surveyed the area. The roof wasn't very large and a dilapidated shed took up part of it. The small area would be difficult to fight in, especially when we needed to keep Sheer and Mikey separate.

Shadows shifted across the rough cement, cast by thick clouds passing over the full moon. It was when the roof was doused in complete darkness that I caught sight of the figures waiting in the shade of the shack.

I landed silently on top of the parapet, feeling my brothers do the same on either side of me. Perched there for an entire minute, I stared into the shadows and I could sense the lifeless eyes staring back. Finally, I climbed down, drawing my swords as the moon broke through the barrage of storm clouds to illuminate the precarious battlefield.

The shadows of the shed shifted as Sheer came forward, seeming to carry the darkness with him. My eyes narrowed as adrenaline started to flood my system once more. Another figure emerged and I had to swallow the lump that formed in my throat.

Mikey didn't wear the same expression of hatred I had seen before. He looked almost like he was in pain. His hands twitched restlessly at his sides. He was fighting. A small triumphant smile broke across my face. _Good for you, Mikey._

"I never thought of you as one to run from a fight, Sheer." I taunted in a low coarse voice.

His high pitched cackle rang through the cold night air. "There was no fight, merely a useless attempt by your brothers to turn the tide of a losing battle. It is for pure entertainment that I keep your pathetic brother alive right now. I am here solely to enjoy myself."

"I hope you enjoy getting the crap beaten out of you then." Raph growled.

Sheer grinned toothily. "The faith you put in each other shows your weakness. No matter what you do, you will never be rid of me, Leonardo."

I shifted into a fighting stance, my swords melting into my grip like extended limbs.

"We'll see about that."

* * *

A/N: Why does everyone say that button is purple? I think it's more of a periwinkle...anyways, it's time for free loaders to report in! 


	28. Gone So Young

A/N: reviewers, you were awesome, thank you! And freeloader #205, you're pretty much my hero and I totally tried to take you up on that offer, but I had three midterms last week and didn't get to writing until Sunday. But here it is now. And huge thanks to my beta for this one.

* * *

DONATELLO

My heart was pounding in my head. Similarly, my emotions were conflicting with my judgment. Sure Leo and Raph were about to fight this amazingly powerful enigma, but I had to fight my own brother. I'd switch places any day.

Mikey and I had locked eyes as Leo and Sheer talked. His usually bright eyes flickered from steel grey to a soft blue, mirroring the battle taking place inside him, but the hand on the large and lethal weapon he'd taken from the Elite remained steady. _Keep fighting, Mikey,_ I prayed. The harder he fought, the less I would have to.

"We'll see about that." Leo was warning, shifting into a fighting stance. Raph mirrored the move behind him. I shakily brought out my staff from its place across my back.

Sheer suddenly snapped his head to the side and my little brother charged toward us. Raph and Leo flipped over him with ease, avoiding his blade by inches. Raph added a hard kick into Mikey's shell as he landed, sending Mikey stumbling toward me.

His weapon suddenly looked a whole lot bigger.

I leveled my bo staff toward him, my grip not nearly as steady as his seemed to be. Mikey's eyes narrowed briefly, but he didn't attack, instead he turned, as if trying to go after Leo and Raph again.

Of course. Sheer knew splitting his attention weakened his hold on my brother. He was trying to get my brothers to focus on Mikey or at least to divide their attacks. Sheer's words about our weakness being our faith in each other were about to come back and bite him.

I threw out my bo staff and tripped Mikey in mid-stride. Diving to grab it, I placed myself between him and my other brothers. "You'll have to go through me first," I muttered darkly.

An insane smile broke across his face. Suddenly, I didn't see my little brother in front of me. Instead I saw Sheer, the soulless creep who was controlling him. My grip tightened and I lunged.

RAPHAEL

It didn't take long to realize that Sheer really wasn't all he cracked himself up to be. Sure we didn't manage to land a single blow, but neither did he. It was no wonder he fought through mind games and other's bodies. His mind may be strong, but his body had been weakened by age.

Leo and I rained down blow after blow, always on the offensive. We were backing him up, coming dangerously close to the edge of the roof. Still the old man continued to fight with a glint in his eye that made me uneasy. He should be terrified right now. We were about to send this guy on the express route to street level.

Suddenly I faltered in my assault. The very air around us had changed, as if charged by a strike of lightning. But the ominous clouds drifting silently overhead hadn't yet released their energy. I looked over to see that Leo had hesitated as well. I was scared for a moment that maybe he'd been mind-attacked again.

Sheer forcefully snapped me out of that thought. The next thing I knew, Leo and I were sprawled across the graveled roof top. Caught completely off guard, we'd both been kicked flat on our shells. My mind was struggling to comprehend how it had even happened. The speed of it all…

As I rolled to stand, I glanced backward and saw Mikey, also flat on the ground. Donny was staring at him in shock, his weapon forgotten on the ground behind him. "Mikey, I'm sorry, I didn't-."

"Mikey?" I whispered.

My little brother was holding his side where he'd apparently been dealt a serious blow by Donny's staff. But more than that, he was looking around, clearly confused, but I could see it in his eyes. It was my little brother- my actual brother.

"Dude…" If I wasn't convinced before, that did it.

I started to smile when I heard the gravel crunch behind me. I spun around in time to block Sheer's blade with my sai, but the force of it send me crashing to the ground. What was I saying about him being weak?

I looked up in time to see Leo rushing to my aid only to get the same treatment. He smashed into the shed with a sickening crunch and lay still. How had he done that? Mere seconds from being defeated, Sheer was suddenly displaying power and strength rivaling the Shredder.

I struggled to catch the breath that had been knocked out of me, which was hard considering I was now hyperventilating with anger. Don and Mike should be coming to help any second now…

Out of the corner of my eye I saw they were still in the same position. Sheer was too busy grinning at Leo to come after me. I chanced a glance over at my other brothers and felt my heart stop.

Mikey was holding his head, stumbling drunkenly and getting closer to the edge of the roof. Donny was trying to stop him, calling his name, but our little brother didn't seem to hear. He still had the Elite's weapon held loosely in his hand and would take a half-hearted swing at Don if he came too close. Rage surging through my veins, I turned on Sheer. He wasn't stupid, he was stalling-taking the time to attack Mikey and gain control all over again.

I leapt to my feet and charged him, sais flashing. So intent was I on digging them into his back that I didn't have time to react when Sheer turned.

The next thing I felt was excruciating pain. White hot fire spread across my chest and I fell backwards, barely noticing as I became horizontal.

As blackness closed in on my vision, I could make out Donny grabbing Mikey around the middle, trying to keep him from fighting. But one final violent twist from my youngest brother sent them both toppling over the parapet and out of sight.

Finally, I passed out- from the pain, and from the despair.

LEONARDO

My head was spinning. First Raph, then Mikey and Donny…

I couldn't move. I just watched helplessly in horror as my brothers fell…one by one…just like my dream…

I didn't feel the rain falling, hear the thunder crashing, see the lighting flash across the black sky… all I knew was my world had fallen apart. Everything I'd ever feared had come to pass. And here I was, staring past Sheer's approaching form and focusing on Raph's lifeless body, unable to move.

The next thing I became aware of was the tip of Sheer's sword lifting my chin. "Well this is familiar." He grinned.

I glared up at him with all the energy and hate I could summon. "You've had your fun." I rasped. "Now end it."

"I will decide when I've had enough." Sheer barked, his sword digging deeper into my neck. Suddenly the pressure was gone as he stepped back, kicking my own swords toward me.

Oh please, not again. If he had just dug his blade in a little farther… I caught sight of Raph's bright red mask through the darkness, the same color as the life blood draining from his body… I really wasn't good enough to stop it. Even after everything…It would never be enough. Now they were all gone…

I looked up at Sheer through hooded eyes. "I'm not going to be a part of your sick game anymore. Either kill me now or leave me alone."

"I set the conditions, not you. Fight or I kill another." Sheer stepped back, raising his blade.

I let out a harsh laugh. "I only have three brothers. No one's left." Wait…_Sensei?_ My eyes widened, I'd completely forgotten. I fought to find the connection to Master Splinter I'd felt back in Central Park. I was too frantic, I couldn't concentrate enough, but I had to warn him…something! Sheer could have easily found out the location of the lair from Mikey. If he went for it, I was in no shape to stop him.

Sheer's sadistic smile widened. "I sense your fear."

I struggled to stand falling back a few times before unsteadily gaining my feat, gripping the hilts of my swords. "I've seen yours." I taunted, though obviously not in a position to do so. Honestly, I'm not sure why I said that. It just came out, but it seemed to have an effect nonetheless.

His eyes narrowed. "I almost regret having to kill you, Leonardo. You truly are a specimen of great skill and power. Too bad your useless brothers weren't so gifted. They might still be alive."

I grit my teeth and charged. Our blades clashed. The clanging of the metal was drowned out by the rumbling thunder. Rage was surging through my veins, fueling every stab, every kick. He'd taken everything from me…and I _was_ going to kill him.

He blocked a swipe from my swords and aimed a kick at my head immediately after. I narrowly avoided it by ducking, taking the opportunity to swing my leg and try to knock his from underneath him. He jumped, kicking again and this time landing it, straight to the side of my head. I fell to the side, but used the momentum of it to roll and gain my feet back under me.

We circled each other for a few seconds before he grinned and leapt at me. I caught his blade between my katana, but was helpless to stop the fist of his free hand from slamming into my chest. Normally that doesn't faze me, considering the thick plastron. Somehow he'd found a way around that.

I gasped for air as I stumbled backwards and hurriedly lifted my swords again to stop his swing aimed for my neck. We traded blow after blow, but he was now pushing me steadily backwards.

No! This couldn't be happening. I couldn't let him win, not this time…

Another high swing. I flipped backwards and landed crouched, leaning on my hands. Finally catching him off guard, I kicked out my feet and smashed them into his stomach. He backed away quickly, doubled over.

I rose, not giving him time to recover and attacked again. His thick sword parried every enraged thrust I aimed at him.

Then I felt it…creeping in from the corners of my mind. Instantly, I slammed my slacking mental defenses back down. In all my emotion, I had almost forgotten. I couldn't let that happen again, he'd almost had me. The smug smile on his face told me he knew it too. He was playing with me…

Sheer started attacking more earnestly, physically and mentally. He had me on my heels now, hard-pressed to defend myself on both planes. I had to choose. Holding up both defenses was too taxing. Well, he couldn't attack my head if I didn't have one. If I could just push him out of my mind, then I could concentrate on fighting back physically.

I grit my teeth in determination and threw all my energy behind forcing Sheer out. Suddenly my surroundings seemed to change. Images were flashing in front of me… Oroku Saki, Karai, Foot ninja… but not from my own memories.… They were Sheer's…

The images started to swirl together. I found myself standing in a dojo of sorts, not much different from the Shredder's. Sheer was standing nearby, but he didn't seem to notice I was there. I looked around nervously. What in the world was going on?

Then I heard a voice, one that instantly turned my blood to ice. "Master." I snapped my head around in time to see none other than Karai entering the room and rushing to kneel in front of Sheer. "I thank you for your help in escaping."

I moved around to get a better view of her. This was definitely recent. She didn't look any different from the last time I saw her. She even had the still healing cut I'd managed to slice in her cheek during our last meeting. But what did she mean by escape? From the Utroms? Prison? I wasn't quite sure what had happened to her after the trial.

Sheer nodded shortly. "I cannot accept the defeat of your father. Tell me how this happened. Who did this?" His tone was agitated and he actually looked quite tired and worn as if he'd had a sleepless night.

Karai looked into the face of her master, her eyes burning with hate. "Leonardo."

I suddenly felt myself being pulled back out into the real world and I was too in shock to try and fight it. I felt the cold of the rain again and I was barely able to recognize the murderous look on Sheer's face directly in front of me before he landed a kick square in my chest, knocking me into a shallow puddle that had collected on the roof.

"That's why you're doing this?!" I cried, raising my crossed swords as he brought his down in a powerful arc between them. My muscles shook from the strain of holding him off. He was seething with fury and I could feel it coming off of him in waves.

He stomped down onto my chest. Gasping for air, I reflexively curled slightly. My grip on my swords was slipping as his own weapon drew closer to my neck.

I struggled to move our swords farther from the center of my body. In one swift move, he adjusted his grip. His sword shifted to slide around my own. The tip of his blade ended up firmly jabbing my right palm, just below the hilt of my sword. Before I could even react, Sheer led out a homicidal shriek, thrusting his weapon into the ground and straight through my hand.

I couldn't stop the scream of pain that erupted from my already abused throat. I screwed my eyes shut, forgetting about the bloodthirsty demon standing over me. I could feel the edges of the blade slicing the tendons and muscles of my hand, pinning it to the gravel roof. Suddenly the sword was savagely ripped from my flesh. I cradled the gushing would against my plastron as I curled onto my side.

Through the haze of pain, I heard another yell…this time it didn't come from Sheer or me. I managed to crack one eye open and looked straight up in time to see a figure leaping over me and crashing into Sheer, knocking the man out of sight.

The figure rushed to my side. I could barely make out a blur of orange amidst the green. "Mikey?" I rasped.

I saw a flash of white teeth as he grinned. "No worries, Bro. I got your back. It's gonna be okay."

DONATELLO

Mikey and I had fallen a good three stories before I managed to grab the ledge of the fire escape in my free hand. The force of it nearly jerked my arm out of its socket as I was carrying Mikey's weight as well as my own. Luckily momentum was also on my side as it swung us through the window just under the ledge.

We landed in a hallway, shattered glass falling around us. My little brother seemed unconscious, but otherwise unharmed. Voices filtered through the rooms lining the long corridor and I noticed lights being flipped on, illuminating the carpet just underneath the doors.

Great, just what I needed- apartment dwellers calling the cops. I heaved Mikey's limp form through a heavy door marked "stairs" about halfway down the hall before anyone had dared poke their heads out of their homes.

I noticed a deep gash in my brother's arm was starting to seep blood. I hurriedly tied his mask around the wound. Cops certainly would have had a field day with his DNA if they had found it.

I dragged Mikey up a few more flights of stairs before trying to wake him. That in itself was taking too long. Leo and Raph were up there fighting Sheer and we had to get there quick. Now that he didn't have Mikey to control, Sheer's powers would increase exponentially.

Getting impatient quick, I slapped my brother's cheek a little harder than I had intended, but it had the desired effect. Mikey's eyes snapped open as he jerked awake.

"What the…?"

"No time, Mike." I interrupted, handing him his nun chucks which I had taken from the Elite and stored in my belt. "The guys are fighting Sheer and we need to help. Are you okay to fight?"

Looking slightly confused, Mikey nodded quickly. I helped him up and we started bounding up the stairs.

I heard Mikey curse softly over the pounding of our feet.

"What?" I asked, though not slowing.

"I messed everything up. Leo's in trouble isn't he?"

"I don't know, Mikey. He and Raph were left on the roof, that's all I know."

"Leo's in trouble." He said again, but it wasn't a question this time. It was like he knew it. "Don, you need to make sure he's okay. Promise me you won't leave him. I'll distract Sheer."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just promise me!"

"Fine! What about Raph?"

Mikey didn't answer. We reached the top floor and continued up toward the roof. Just as we burst through the door, a familiar scream met our ears.

It felt like the bottom of my stomach had dropped out as I surveyed the scene. Sheer's blade had pierced straight through Leo's hand. Mikey instantly charged forward. Startled, Sheer didn't have time to defend himself and he stumbled backward, his knees buckling over the edge of the parapet. He tumbled over the side, out of sight. I heard a metallic clang only a second later as he landed on the fire escape. Too bad. If he had just hit the street, the rest of this would have been a lot easier.

"He's coming back, Mikey." I warned as my little brother crouched down next to Leo. Mikey said something to him that I couldn't hear and jumped up again, nun chucks spinning.

I quickly took Mike's place next to our oldest brother. "Leo, it's Don," I carefully grabbed his wrist and looked over his hand where blood had mixed with the falling rain and was dripping off in a steady stream, "this is gonna hurt… a lot." I slipped off my own mask and wrapped it several times around the wound. As I pulled the knot snugly, my brother gave a tortured groan.

I looked up to see that Sheer was just climbing over the edge of the roof again.

Then my eyes fell on Raph.

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A/N: I was advised to end it there...blame my beta... THIS time, i have no midterms, so reviews can equal much much faster update! Plus obi won would be lonely without them. 


	29. More Than It Seems

A/N: Remember ME?! it's okay if you don't, I don't either, I've been gone so long. But I'm here! and I brought the next chapter with me. I promised I would finish, and I'm going to!! :D So leave me a review, and there won't be two months until the next chapter...

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DONATELLO

"Go to Raph."

I almost didn't hear Leo's quiet order. Shock had taken over my limbs, making them seem heavy as lead. "What?" I whispered, still not able to tear my eyes away from the lifeless body of my brother. So absorbed was I that I jumped when I felt a hand on my arm.

Leo had sat up on his own and was now crouching next to me, his black eyes boring into my own, making sure I was listening. "Raph needs you right now. Mikey and I will handle Sheer."

"But…he-…" My tongue seemed foreign, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Raph will be fine so long as you go to him and don't worry about Mikey and me, alright?" He gave my arm a slight shake when I didn't answer. "Donny, listen. Raph will be okay. What you need to do is go and help him. Promise me."

I was sure having to make a lot of promises tonight. All I could manage was a short nod. A second later Leo had disappeared from my side. His command echoed through my pathetically mottled brain and like a zombie, I rose to my feet and headed straight for my red-masked brother.

MICHELANGELO

Usually, I'd have a million thoughts running through my head at this point: _I don't wanna die, what on earth am I doing, how am I gonna pull this off, Sheer looks like he could be the offspring of Freddy Kruger and the Predator…_

You wanna know what I was doing instead? Meditating- focusing like my life…or my brothers' lives depended on it, because, well, they did. I only allowed one single phrase to stand out in my mind- _Don't screw this up_.

So it's not Oprah material. It's the best I could come up with and it was plenty motivating to me. I was alone now. My brothers were depending on me and I owed them for miserably failing the one thing we'd been talking about for the past week. Because of that, Leo had been hurt again, I'd nearly taken Don's head off and I was painfully aware of how still my second oldest brother was lying. That was my fault…

Though I did realize I didn't bear all the blame. This freak in front of me had started it. But I knew right then, I was going to be the one to finish it.



LEONARDO

Crimson drops were steadily dripping from the makeshift bandage of Donny's mask around my hand. I was already dizzy and weak from loss of blood and was relying on the cold splashes of rain and claps of thunder to keep me conscious. Still, I managed to stand at Mikey's side, armed only with one sword in my good hand.

My brother was so concentrated on Sheer that he didn't notice I was there. Only Sheer's look of unparalleled rage focused over Mikey's shoulder tipped him off.

"Leo…" Mikey started in a less than enthusiastic tone, barely daring to turn away from the old man.

"I'm fine. It's just us now, Bro." I muttered to him, never taking my eyes from Sheer and his bloodstained sword. Mikey nodded once and I could almost feel his mental defenses strengthening.

"If it isn't my two favorite mutants." Sheer cackled. "This should be very interesting…"

And hopefully short.

Mike and I readied ourselves as our enemy shifted into a fighting stance. Just before we charged, a thought occurred to me and I tapped the connection I shared with Mikey. I could feel a mental wall as he at first resisted to the intrusion. I tapped again, and he shot me a confused look. It immediately faded into understanding and he grinned.

MICHELANGELO

You always hear that two heads are better than one. Leo and I were banking on that- or rather that two _minds_ are better than one…that's the same thing isn't it?... Individually, we'd both fallen to Sheer's attacks, so if we somehow fed off each other, we stood a much better chance. Again…that's what we were hoping for.

I just hoped we were right.

With a final nod at my older brother, I charged Sheer, weapons spinning, itching to collide with his flesh. He blocked my first blow with his sword and immediately aimed a kick toward Leo who flipped over it and landed behind Sheer. Leo tried to swipe a foot under Sheer's legs, but the man jumped and instead took a kick at me, which I in turn had to duck.



He blocked Leo's katana with his sword and my nun chuck with his own arm, but he didn't even wince. He almost grabbed my weapon right out of my hand!

Already, I'm starting to wonder if we were wrong.

DONATELLO

If ever I doubted the usefulness of our masks before, that's certainly wasn't the case now. My three brothers were now all sporting them as bandages.

Raph had taken a severe blow to the side from Sheer's sword, but luckily the bleeding had slowed on its own and with the pressure I was adding, it had almost stopped completely. He still hadn't shown any sign of consciousness however. With this much blood loss, I knew it might be a while before he did…if he did…

I shook my head. Leo said if I stayed with Raph, he would be okay. So that's exactly what I was going to do.

But with each passing minute, that promise became harder to keep. Leo and Mikey looked past exhaustion as they fended off Sheer's attacks and managed to get in a few of their own. Somehow they kept going., I found it amazing how perfectly Leo and Mikey were fighting together. Usually their styles were at complete odds with each other, even after 17 years of training together, but I saw no sign of that now.

Mike finally landed a spinning kick across Sheer's face, sending the man staggering sideways. For a split second as he straightened up, Sheer caught my eyes. A dark feeling immediately encased my heart.

Oh shell.

Frantically, I concentrated on my defenses again. Lucky for me, multitasking came easy and I hadn't slacked on the mental side yet. That still didn't do much to prepare me for the attack that came next. I'd never felt anything like it before. It was almost as if there was a physical presence trying to pry its way into my skull, into my thoughts and emotions. I grit my teeth and pushed back. So help me, I would not be used against my brothers.

An immeasurable amount of time passed before the pressure suddenly lifted. My eyes, which I hadn't realized were squeezed shut, snapped open. I was still sitting next to Raph, and though I felt a bit light headed, nothing seemed to have changed. Sheer was still fighting Leo and Mikey, though his face wore an expression of frustration in addition to the extreme hatred.

I almost sighed in relief. If Sheer had succeeded…I had a feeling Raph wouldn't still be alive. I looked down just to make sure I was right. Indeed my brother was still breathing. The bleeding had even stopped. He should be okay alone now…

I looked to Mikey and Leo who were trading blow for blow with Sheer, neither side seeming to back down in the slightest. Then I looked back to Raph. I'd promised Leo I'd stay with him, but then again…I had a sinking suspicion that Leo never intended to come out of this battle alive.

My hand was closing around my bo staff when a sudden movement next to me caused me to stop. Raph was stirring, groaning softly. I dropped my weapon and instead laid my hand on his chest. "Raph?"

His eyes slowly fluttered open. Somehow, even at my wit's end, I noticed that without the red mask framing his face, Raph looked just as vulnerable and soft-shelled as Mikey. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch up in an attempt at a smile. "Lie still, you're gonna be okay."

He seemed to relax for a second until his eyes widened in shock. I felt his hand gripping mine. His mouth opened as if to tell me something, but nothing came out. At first I figured he was just reacting to the pain of his injury…then I noticed a familiar sinister presence. Glancing behind me, my eyes locked with those of Sheer's and a cold smile split his weathered face.

A stronger curse escaped my mouth this time, one that still made Mikey wince on the seldom occasion that I let it slip. I should have realized Sheer was not above attacking a fallen combatant. I squeezed Raph's hand as I turned back to him. "Listen to me, Sheer is trying to get at you. I'm gonna help you get through this, but you've got to hold on for just one more minute."

Raph shook his head in a barely perceptible nod and shut his eyes tightly.

MICHELANGELO

A hard kick to my stomach sent me crashing back onto the roof. Immediately I jumped to my feet and joined the fight again. It didn't feel like we were making much progress, but we weren't losing either. Sheer's left eye was shut tight, blinded by blood dripping from a cut above his eye, and his right sleeve had been slashed and was stained red.

He hadn't tried to attack us mentally, and yet I felt something…some kind of energy that told me he was doing something. Suddenly, Sheer let out a cry and staggered backwards a few 

steps. Confused, Leo and I glanced at each other, then back at our brothers. Raph hadn't moved, but Don had collapsed next to him in an awkward heap.

"Donny…" I resisted running to his side…actually Leo made me resist. He was right …there was nothing we could do for him.

I was beyond confusion at this point. Everyone was collapsing, screaming, bleeding, and Jedi mind tricks were going off like fireworks. The one thing I did know was that it was all Sheer's fault. Rage building inside me again, I turned back to the old man.

Sheer was seething, breathing hard through grit teeth. His narrowed eyes were focused on Leo. A different kind of cry erupted from Sheer, a murderous yell, as he charged at my brother. Instantly, I recognized the familiar probing feeling at the back of my mind. Sheer was at his mind games again, only they were focused on Leo. I guess I could feel it because of our connection.

Then a weird thing happened…which is saying something, considering all the crap I had gone through in the last few hours alone. As Sheer launched attacks on Leo's mind, I could sense Sheer's emotions, almost hear what he was thinking…It was like I was psychic …awesome. Or it should have been awesome. It would have been if this wasn't the mind of a psycho. It somehow occurred to me that I could use this to our advantage. This is exactly what Leo had meant when we were talking about getting into Sheer's mind to take away his advantage. I concentrated harder.

He wanted Leo, and bad. So bad that he was willing to risk anything to do it… I snapped out of my trance as I realized what exactly Sheer was planning to do. I had to stop it…

I hadn't realized that while discovering this piece of information, I'd been standing stock still as Leo was mercilessly attacked and pushed closer to the edge of the roof. I sprinted toward them to help while trying to strengthen the connection with Leo. Whether because I was panicking or I just didn't know how to do it, it wasn't working. But I had to warn him! My mouth didn't seem to work…but how would I explain it anyways? I had no idea…

I felt Sheer's strength growing, his attacks became even more powerful. I launched my weapon at Sheer just his blade left a deep gash along Leo's arm. The man fell back, not expecting it. He glared at me…then his eyes closed, almost peacefully. A sinister grin stretched across his wizened face and my blood ran cold.

An almost electric charge was building in the air and I knew Sheer was about to strike. I turned and looked at Leo, conveying into one look a thousand words I wish I could say but never would…

Leo's eyes slowly widened. Somehow he knew. He started to shake his head, to say my name, but never got the chance.

LEONARDO

Mikey was going to sacrifice himself for me…

The thought barely had time to process in my mind before it happened.

The attack was more powerful than any I had ever felt before, but also the shortest. There was a blinding white flash and a jolt of pain that seemed to shoot right through my head. I was sure it was over…after everything, this was it.

As quickly as it started, it was over…

I quickly opened the eyes I didn't know I had shut. At first, I couldn't see anything, but felt my head spinning. I stumbled and had to drop to one knee to keep myself from passing out.

I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision. When the roof finally came into focus, I immediately shut my eyes again, rubbing them frantically. I didn't want to open them again…scared that I'd find the same image I had just seen. With my eyes closed I could pretend that it wasn't real. That any second I would wake up and find something else…anything else.

But I wouldn't… This was real…and I had to face it. Swallowing hard, I slowly opened my eyes and had I not been knealing already, I'm sure I would have fallen.

Sprawled across the ground in front of me was my little brother, unmoving. Still I couldn't believe it…I gripped his shoulders, shaking them desperately. His head fell limply backwards as I pulled his body into my arms. I tried to tap the connection we'd shared so recently, the one he'd used to save my life, but found nothing… I didn't even sense a spark of my brother's presence…

I heard gravel crunching and snapped my eyes up to see Sheer struggling to his feet. Mikey had stopped him from getting to me…He'd put himself in front of Sheer's attack to save me.

Instantly, fire flooded my veins. Gingerly, I set my brother's body back on the ground as I got to my feet. My sword was back in my hand as I stalked toward him.

For the first time, fear flashed in Sheer's eyes. It fueled me. I wanted to see him scared…begging for his life. He was looking for his sword, and backed up as I came closer and closer. He stopped when his feet hit the parapet and he couldn't move any farther.

Sheer took a few deep breaths, fighting the panic and struggling to put on a face on nonchalance. "Are you really going to kill me in cold blood, Leonardo? Weaponless? Weak and wounded?"

"It's nothing you haven't tried…" I seethed.

A grin split his face and he seemed to relax. "I was right about you. You have nothing left here, Leonardo. You and me, we're just the same. Accept it." I gripped the hilt of my sword even tighter, struggling to keep from shaking. "Killing me goes against everything you stand for. It would be for nothing."

I lunged forward, my face now inches from his. "This is for my brother." I whispered with deathly calm.

Sheer gasped and looked down at my sword, now buried to the hilt in his stomach. He stared at me in shock. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and I pulled back. Sheer swayed, his knees hitting the parapet behind him. He gave out one final cry of anguish as he disappeared over the side of the roof.

I don't know if I expected to feel happy he was dead, or guilty…I didn't feel anything at all. Staggering back to my brother's side, I fell to my knees. A single tear slid down my cheek.

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A/N: Remember Obi Won?...he misses you!

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	30. Little Wonders

A/N: This is it ppl...the last chapter. I'm actually finishing a story!! :D Please review and let me know how you liked it!!

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DONATELLO

I'd come to just in time to see Leo run his sword through Sheer, and watched in shock as his body had tumbled what must have been 20 stories to the ground. I sat, motionless as Leo went to kneel by a body, which until that point, I hadn't noticed. Assured by the sounds of breathing coming from Raph, I left his side and went to join my oldest brother, confused by the despair and utter hopelessness coming from him.

My eyes went to Mikey, my only little brother. I glanced between his body and Leo's face a few times before almost diving to the ground, feeling for a pulse. I sat there, holding my breath, becoming more and more hopeless every second.

Then I felt it- one beat…then another.

It was slow and weak, but it was there. "Leo, he's alive." I gasped, letting out the breath I hadn't realized I was still holding.

Leo's expression still didn't change.

"Leo, did you hear me?! He's alive."

Slowly, he shook his head. "But he's not there."

My face contorted in confusion and I felt my heart sinking. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, his body may still be alive, but Mikey is gone, Don. He's gone." He didn't raise his voice but the words felt like a slap in the face.

My analytical mind couldn't comprehend what he was saying. I was growing frustrated, angry with Leo for just sitting there. "There's a pulse, he's alive. What else is there?!"

"Don't you get it, Donny!?" Leo suddenly snapped, his black eyes meeting mine. "His mind, it's gone. Mikey isn't here anymore…" he stopped, looking away, too choked to continue.

"But what about the time you wouldn't wake up? We pulled you out of it. Why can't we do that for Mikey?"

"It's not the same. He's too far gone. It doesn't matter how much he wants to come back, he can't. He wouldn't be any more dead if he wasn't breathing…"

No… Leo couldn't be right. Mikey was gonna wake up, and everything would be back to the way it used to be… I found myself moving to sit next to Leo who was struggling to keep his tears from spilling over. All it took was one hand on his arm. The next thing I knew, his face was buried in my shoulder.

I don't know how long we sat like that, but it was a touch on my arm that brought me back to the present. I expected it to be Leo, but almost jumped when I saw Raph sitting next to us. How he found the strength to crawl over here, I don't know.

"What happened?" He whispered.

Leo's head snapped up and he pulled away, not noticing Raph's presence until then. He sniffed and quickly wiped his eyes. "Uh…" Leo started shakily and cleared his throat. "Sheer was going to attack me…Mikey jumped in instead."

Raph's face fell even more. "Is he-?"

"He's alive." I assured him.

"He's not coming back." Leo's voice cracked and he dropped his face into his hand.

"I don't…understand." Raph looked to me and I shook my head.

Being brain dead is something I can understand. I guess a massive trauma like whatever Sheer caused could have done that…but it still didn't make it any easier to accept that Mikey was gone…he was right here, breathing. He couldn't be gone…He just couldn't. I knew I wasn't going to accept it, not unless his heart stopped beating.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours. The chill of the wet night finally sunk in and I looked at my brothers. "We should start heading home…" I suggested quietly.

Leo quietly hefted Mikey into his arms and without a word, trudging slowly across the roof toward the fire escape. Raph and I shared a worried look before I helped him to his feet, supporting most of his weight as we started the longest journey we'd ever have to make.

RAPHAEL

The clouds were turning a dull red as dawn approached. We'd barely made it back to the sewer in time to avoid being seen by early morning commuters.

My side ached like it was on fire and I felt as lightheaded as I ever had, but somehow I stayed conscious through the trip. Donny may have carried me part of the way, however. I don't remember.

A few hours ago, I would have given anything to be back home. I was looking forward to how grateful I would feel to be back in the lair. Now, I just feel empty.

I expected to feel happy that Sheer was dead, but I really wasn't giving him any thought at all.

Mikey had always tried to guilt me by saying things like: you'll regret torturing me when I die! I responded by saying, 'let's find out.'

I didn't regret it…I didn't want to take any of it back. I just wanted him here so I could keep doing it. I knew that wasn't gonna happen.

Yeah, Donny says he's still alive, but Leo says he's gone, and I don't want to get my hopes up. Mikey was always the optimist…I was going to keep being the pessimist.

I didn't realize we'd reached the lair until Donny pulled the lever to open the door. I almost felt like resisting as he supported me inside. Out there was where we fought. Coming back here meant it was over…there wasn't anything else we could do.

"My sons." Our hanging heads snapped up. Master Splinter was standing in the middle of the lair, looking more concerned than I'd ever seen him.

Leo glanced back at Donny and me and we took the hint.

"I'm gonna…fix Raph up." Donny mumbled quickly.

My body decided I'd abused it enough for one day. As soon as we reached his lab and I laid down, I was out.

LEONARDO

My hands were shaking. I don't know if it was exhaustion or emotion. Silently, Master Splinter guided me to lay Mikey on a cot against the wall. It was the same one I'd spent so much time in over the last few weeks…

My mouth didn't seem to want to work. I don't know what I'd say. I had a feeling Sensei already knew everything I would tell him anyways. In despair, I sunk to the floor. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into Sensei's eyes. I had hoped that he would give me a 

different explanation than the one I had come up with, but his expression was telling me just the opposite.

For the first time since I was a little kid, Sensei put his arms around me while I cried.

I must have fallen asleep there, because the next thing I knew, Don was gently shaking me awake. Confused, I looked around. Splinter was gone and I was laying on the floor next to the cot. "Hm?" I mumbled.

"I need to look at your hand. Come on." He attempted to sit me up, my I hit his arm away. "Leo…" He sighed.

"Can't just leave him here…" I protested.

Donny cast his eyes to Mikey and back to me. He abruptly turned to leave and didn't come back for a minute. When he did, his arms were weighed down with blankets and pillows. Without a word, he carefully slid a comforter over Mikey's body and slipped a pillow under his head.

Then he sat down in front of me, "Tell me why you're giving up on him." He asked flatly, holding out a blanket to me.

I stared at him in shock for a second then painfully pushed myself up into a sitting position, taking the offered blanket and setting it in my lap. "It's not giving up, Don, it's just that…there's nothing to do."

"Why? What's so different about him that we can't bring him back when it worked on you?" His tone was bordering on anger. I knew he was just frustrated.

"Because I wasn't-…" I sighed heavily, struggling to string my thoughts together through all the emotions and pain. "Sensei could sense me. He could feel I was still there. Mikey just isn't there, Don. There's nothing to bring back."

"You…can't even try? Did Splinter try? I know you got this whole mind thing figured out more than us, but he's our Master for a reason."

"He just told me the same thing… where is he?"

"With Raph." Don whispered, staring at his hands.

"Donny…I'm sorry."

"Don't, Leo." He warned. "We all went out there tonight to get rid of this guy because of what he did to you. Don't belittle his sacrifice by apologizing for it." Donny pulled over the last blanket where he'd tucked some medical supplies. "Give me your hand."

"So what's going to happen to him?" I asked quietly as he gently took my hand and started to clean it.

"How would I know?" Donny mumbled, running a gauze pad directly over the gash.

I winced and almost pulled my hand away. "From a medical standpoint, what do you think would happen?"

"His heart would stop beating, soon."

Silently, I nodded.

I suddenly felt totally alone. I was the only one mourning Mikey here. Donny still didn't believe he was going to die. Raph had his own problems. I was torn between spending Mikey's last moments by his side, or going to be by a brother who was struggling to pull through.

Clearly Donny was having similar thoughts. "I'm gonna move Mikey into the lab so I can keep an eye on all of you together, okay?"

"Yeah," I agreed absently. A few minutes later, we were all settled in Donny's lab. I was closest to Mikey, sitting on the floor. Don kept checking on Raph while Master Splinter sat in the middle, meditating. I fought to stay awake, to be with my youngest brother, but soon lost the battle as exhaustion took over and I fell asleep.

When I woke up again, only a single candle lit the lab. Donny was asleep next to me on the floor, tangled up in a blanket and mumbling incoherently. My eyes drifted up to land on Mikey. Panicking for a second, I sat up and pressed a finger against his neck.

There was still a slow pulse…I sighed in relief.

It shouldn't have made a difference…But I just couldn't let go yet.

What if I was wrong, Sensei too? It had happened before…sometime.

My heart started racing with the thought. What if he was there? It wouldn't hurt to try… I had to try. Glancing once at Donny to make sure he was asleep, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, searching for that connection with my youngest brother.

'_What are you doing?'_

I jumped and my eyes snapped open…but I wasn't in the lair anymore. I was surrounded by blackness. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, let alone who the voice had come from… "Wh- what?" This wasn't like any meditation I had done before…

'_Come on, Leo. Are you serious?'_

My eyes narrowed in confusion. What on earth-? The voice was different…it seemed to be more of my own thoughts instead of an audible sound. I spun around, but still, all I could see was black. "What's going on?"

The…voice, whatever it was, laughed…it was familiar… I turned once more and stumbled backwards in surprise as I came face to face with Mikey. How I could see him, and not myself, I have no idea.

"Holy-! Wh-…I-." I struggled to find words but couldn't.

'_Well you came in here to find me, now you have. What did you expect to do?' _He was smiling calmly, looking straight into my eyes.

"I-I…I wanted to bring you back." I stuttered.

'_What for?'_

"I don't want you to die, Mike."

'_Well who wants anyone to die? It happens. Sometimes there's nothing you can do.'_

"Yeah, but you're here…I thought you weren't…but you are. This means you can come back, right?"

My brother just looked at me for a few moments before speaking. _'No.'_

"What?" I gasped. "Why not?"

'_For the same reason you told Donny. You were right.'_

"…then why are you here?" I asked quietly.

'_Because you need to be okay with it.'_

"With you dying?! No, Mike, no. How can you ask that?"

'_Leo, this whole thing started because you couldn't let go of something that wasn't even your fault. _This_ wasn't your fault, Leo.'_

"But if I had just…"

'_Go on. Just what?'_

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, trying to answer. "I…don't know." I finished lamely.

'_Exactly. You need to be able to accept the things you can't change, Bro. Don't make me regret saving you.' _

A half sob/ half laugh escaped my throat. Mike was dying and he was still trying to joke with me…

'_Promise me, Leo, okay?'_

"But Don, he was-."

'_He's scared he's going to lose you too. He's not blaming you… I'm not telling you you can't cry a bit. I know you have tear ducts in there somewhere, so use them. But you have to move on too.'_

I nodded silently.

'_Promise?'_

"Yeah…yeah, I promise."

Mikey grinned. _'Good…now get out of here, some people are waiting for you.'_

"Wait, Mike…Thank you. I love you, Bro."

Mikey's smile softened. _'You too, Leo… Now you really have to go.'_

I shook my head, I didn't want to go. But something was pulling me back. Mikey was drifting farther away… Blackness surrounded me again.

Slowly, my eyes fluttered open. I found myself lying on a cot in the lab. I could see Raph asleep in a similar one on the other side of the room. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten here. I felt like I was in a thick fog and my body was almost completely numb.

"Sensei, he's awake." I heard Donny's voice and a second later, Master Splinter was standing beside the cot. I could see Donny over his shoulder, but he didn't come any closer, staying a few feet back. It was his face that gave it away.

"My son…Michelangelo has passed. His heart stopped last night."

All I could do was stare. I knew it was coming, but that didn't mean it was any easier to hear. I nodded mutely. It was all I could manage.

Sensei put a hand on my shoulder and backed away, I guess to tell Raph.

Donny sighed and walked over to me, getting to his knees. "I'm sorry Leo…you were right."

I just shook my head and put out an arm, pulling him into a hug.

I closed my eyes to stop the tears from forming again, but could feel water dripping down my face…a lot of it, splashing down in waves and making it hard to breathe.

My eyes snapped open and I sat up, sputtering. I wasn't in the lab, I was on the couch in front of the TV. My hand was still bandaged, but other wounds had started to fade. I shook the nightmare from my thoughts and looked around for whoever had dumped the water over me and had woke me up from my nap.

"MIKEY!?"

The culprit tried to put on an innocent face, but the empty glass in his hand gave away the story.

I tore of my soaking mask, breathing hard. "I could kill you right now…" I muttered, wringing out the blue fabric.

"You had that dream again, didn't you?" Mikey asked, taking a seat on the armrest.

"How'd you know that?" I sighed, wiping the water from my face.

"Because if you hadn't, you would actually be trying to kill me instead of just threatening it."

"I think kill is a little strong…" I shrugged.

"That dream really freaks you out doesn't it?" Mike smirked, sounding amused.

"It's not funny." I glared at him.

"No, no, I get that. But I mean, I am alive, Dude."

"You told me you were going to die."

"Now why would I say that if I wasn't going to?"

I paused for a second. "…Because you're you."

"Touché, but seriously, that was all a part of your dream."

"No, when you woke up, I almost passed out in shock because you had told me you weren't coming back."

"You told yourself that."

"Sensei even said it!"

"There you go, it was all psychological. He never said it, you convinced yourself of it." Donny jumped in from the kitchen table.

"Whatever," I sighed. A week later and still we can't figure out how Mikey had miraculously woken up the night after the fight like nothing had ever happened. Donny wasn't so surprised, but Sensei and I were a little more than astonished. Raph was still out of it at the time, and had found out our littlest brother was alive by Mikey skipping over to him and waking him up. I think he gave Raph a minor heart attack.

"We wouldn't have been so surprised if we had known Mikey registers as brain dead even when walking and talking." Raph grumbled as he hobbled past the couch.

"And there are much easier ways of getting rid of those pesky extra pounds. You didn't have to go and get your stomach stapled." Mikey grinned, referring to the thick bandage that still covered Raph's midsection.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Ha! You can smile…" Mikey shouted, pointing at me.

"Yeah, yeah, I can also kick your sorry butt. What did you wake me up for?" I asked, still smiling and twisting the mask in my hands.

"Just wanted to see if you could. I was hearing these voices in my head and they told me you were in a coma-."

I whipped the mask out at him and heard a satisfying _smack!_

"Ow!" He jumped off the couch, rubbing the spot on his leg where he'd been hit.

I grinned. "Oh, we forgot to tell you. Klunk went kind of crazy, unsupervised as he was, and he destroyed all your comics."

Mikey narrowed his eyes and then smiled. "No he didn't. You think you got me… It's okay, it takes a while to get back into the pranking groove, Leo."

"Then what's this?" I asked, pulling out shreds of paper from under the couch.

He paled and instantly took off up the stairs.

"How long until he realizes those are from the newspaper?" Raph drawled, gingerly sitting down in an armchair.

I smirked, settling back onto the couch. "Until he accounts for all his comics."

It felt good to lay back and not worry about anything. I hadn't felt that way in years. The Shredder and Sheer were gone. Karai was still out there, but at this moment, I couldn't care less. After what we had just gone through, she was nothing.

I set out on this journey two months ago. I had wanted to redeem myself and save my family. Thinking I needed the redemption was what had started the problem. And really, my family isn't who needed the saving.



I think I've got my priorities straight. Number one is not to never ever let anyone into my head ever again- which presents a problem, because Mikey always tries. So that makes my number two priority to be a typical older brother and tease him mercilessly in retaliation. I can never stop worrying about my brothers or stop protecting them, and I am going to take the lead when there's trouble. That's just my nature. However I can certainly tone down the self blame and start putting it on someone else. That's what real brothers do, right?

So in the end it was my family who saved _me_. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

* * *

A/N: THE END!! ...unless you want something else...say a sequel?


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